Offline
Hello all,
Last time I posted here I was freaking out about my guy going out of town out of the blue and whatnot. Long story short, I was freaking out to the point that eventually i just though to myself enough is enough, life goes on no matter what.
I decided to stop the RS and visualizations altogether and just focus on healing myself. However, when I first realized he went back to his hometown my first thought was it was an emergency and something must have happen in his family. A few days after I decided to just quit it, I was going on dates with other dudes (I know...it's only a few days...), a mutual friend told me he went back home because his grandfather was in the hospital intensive care...I was like I knew it...I just knew it.
My question here is, I was trying to let go and it was going well, I was happy, I did not lock myself up alone at home and cry my day away or anything, I just decided that I deserve someone I love and who loves me and if not him, I still thank him for who he turned me into. After I got to know what happened to him I can't help but feel bad and wanna be there for him and reach out and it made me wanna pick the RS work back up cause it's suddenly not hopeless anymore. I'm really afraid of going back to the old patterns and not being able to let go, I think I should just live it up and see what happens, Wolf and Sanshi gave me excellent advice last time, I'm wondering what do you ladies have to say this time?
Thanks a lot
Offline
I'm not quite sure, if I fully get the question.
Why not reaching out to him to offer him support? No contact is nothing that's always the best way. It depends on how you feel about it. Would it feel better to you to reach out than to stay in no contact? Then reach out. But don't do it to get something out of the situation and don't be disappointed, if his reaction is strange.
Offline
The question is...whether I should just keep moving on/letting go or go back to doing RS and loa stuff on him. I still love him no matter what and I always will, but for some reason I just feel like this whole thing was the universe forcing me to let go and focus on myself.
Offline
Nobody can make this decision for you. Even the universe doesn't make decisions for you or gives you hints what you should do. It just reflects you.
Offline
The fundamental difference between attracting a specific person and attracting a specific thing is that things don't change but people do. A sports car will always be a sports car but a person will grow and absorb and differ over time. You'll always have a space for this person in your life but this person will not always make you feel constantly good and secure in your thinking of them as a car would. A car can't ignore your calls but a car can't keep you warm in bed at night and say nice things to you. By wanting this specific person, you will be trying to see them in a way that suits how you want to feel about them but the problem is, they won't always be that way because people are flawed and people aren't here to be your ideal version of them all the time and people morph and change their preferences. You will always be in love with him in some way, but as time moves on, you will inevitably heal unless you make a definite decision not to heal. The ironic thing is , if you decide to be hung up on this person as the one or the best you'll ever have, the resistance really will grow and grow making it harder and harder for law of attraction to bring them or anyone else to you, but especially them. If you just quit them and make a decision to heal, you won't magically feel you don't want them anymore, but you will be training yourself to stop obsessing over them. It's not going to be easy, I still struggle, there's still been very few days where I haven't spared at least one thought to my specific person, but that's ok and that's normal but if you train yourself to just stop the thought for long enough, it will become easier. Then manifesting them into your existence tends to happen and more naturally but usually the total intensity you had for it will be gone and replaced by an intensity for something new. Sure, you'll be happy, but your world won't stop at that moment and in fact, you might even be looking at someone or something else.Β
Offline
@shootingstar
Yup I can totally understand what you said here. There are hundred reasons why I just feel like there's something special between us and it's not over. At the same time, I feel like I really need to refocus on myself and my own happiness, if he shows up then great, if not I'll find my happiness with someone else maybe.
Two nights after I found out he was out of town I went to bed thinking to myself please just let me forget about him, that night I had a dream where he hugged me tight and told me he'll come see me soon. I don't look for signs anymore, I am a bit less obsessive now, but I know deep down I still hope that it's gonna be him and I one day.
Offline
It's totally fine to be persistent with a desire just as long as you're consistent. I've had such a messy journey with maintaining focus and consistency. Sometimes I've hated him and felt disgusted by him, sometimes I just want him back soo much, sometimes I feel there's no love between us, sometimes I feel that the love is so strong between us. No wonder he isn't around yet ! Also I've personally been super obsessive, especially in the earlier part of the year, now not so much. When someone believes there's really unfinished business, then there usually is. The fact that you really believe that makes it true. There have been times where I've contacted people out of the blue only to find that it seemed that they had almost been waiting for that moment because they really believed there was unfinished business, even when I didn't, but I still made contact so their vibration of that 'unfinishedness' was strong enough to get a response from me. You won't forget about him, you never will, but you will become less and less emotionally involved in him over time if you keep no contact. That sounds crappy but it's good ! All that emotional anxiety and worry will go away and you'll just be left with clean, fond and attachment free feelings. When you get to that stage, you won't notice too much that he's gone out of town and you won't be worried about it, you'll just be pleasantly surprised that he contacted you but you won't be staring at your phone until he texts back. It will be as if you are starting again Β
Offline
Yea, when I'm looking back every time things were going well I was not expecting much and I was focused on myself and I was always pleasantly surprised, maybe it is true when they say that it only happens when you don't care as much anymore...I'm not sure, it still sounds kind of sad to me though