Thank you Wolf for the timely reply

I was doing so well and treating myself so well for the past few days and did not stalk him at all, i do realize that I am making a fuss about it and it should not be a big deal at all, but after this even though last time we spent a great time together now i am still scared if i never get to see him again, i know, totally nuts...

I still want to keep the RS and visualizations up though...even if i can't see if it's working or not. It feels like it's the only thing i can do now.

As for the part where i said i wanted to let it all out and tell him everything, I think it's been building up in me. We have been seeing each other here and there for so long, at first he said he needed time to trust me and commit, I took it as he didnt like me enough. Then after a while he kept coming back to me and even said I love you at one point when he was drunk, he was hinting at relationships and whatnot but i let them all pass. Right now it just feels like he does not care at all because we have not talked in a while and he left without telling me...

Thanks Wolf and Sanshi

The teachings make so much sense, however I can't feel anything other than frustration and helplessness right now...I wanna keep going but I don't know how...and I know reaching out would be a bad idea

es4life wrote:

I've read Abe's books, tried the processes but it always felt like a chore I don't know why, it's like they are telling me to give up on my desire and just feel better, but I want what I want...

Feeling better felt like a chore to you? I guess the reason is that you didn't do it to feel better, but to make something happen and that simply doesn't work. It's the paradoxical thing about LoA. You don't get what you need, you get what you don't care so much about. You have to reach a place where it is more important to you to feel good than to get your manifestation. And that takes some time. You can't fake it. It comes naturally.