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- Bandages
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what if ethics and unknown circumstances prevent your abilities?
I've been making eye contact with someone in a senior position to me from afar (although he ignores me when we pass each other sonetimes) but I find that ethics get in the way of me being able to fantasise about him. I googled him and found he was married but I don't know if he still is. He has no wedding ring but maybe it's because he put on weight and it doesn't fit?! Someone I know said she thinks he has kids but still, he might be separated. I dont want to do RS or anything similar on a married man. I feel it's wrong. How do you get around this? Do you just do it and not care?
- Sanshi
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Re: what if ethics and unknown circumstances prevent your abilities?
When it doesn't feel good, don't do it.
"Self-abandonment. That is the secret. We have to abandon ourselves to the state, in our love for the state, and in so doing live the life of the state and no more our present state. And to make the state alive, one must become it."
Neville Goddard ~ The Law and the Promise
- Bandages
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Re: what if ethics and unknown circumstances prevent your abilities?
Thanks for the responses. I guess I wanted to know what others would do. It's difficult for me to not try to refer to"reality" if that makes sense. I think the angle I might take on it is that I am uninterested in complicated situations so I want a proper relationship with him - not an affair, not a rebound afterwards but a proper situation. That still sounds 'heavy' as a feeling, though and not easy to visualise. Just imagine love? Is that enough? One thing I am going to do is stop talking about him to other people to find out what is going on. It felt a lot better when I was not doing that. I felt freer and with a cleaner energy. Thanks wolf that was an amazing post.
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Thread Starter- Sanshi
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Re: what if ethics and unknown circumstances prevent your abilities?
Bandages wrote:
Thanks for the responses. I guess I wanted to know what others would do. It's difficult for me to not try to refer to"reality" if that makes sense. I think the angle I might take on it is that I am uninterested in complicated situations so I want a proper relationship with him - not an affair, not a rebound afterwards but a proper situation. That still sounds 'heavy' as a feeling, though and not easy to visualise. Just imagine love? Is that enough? One thing I am going to do is stop talking about him to other people to find out what is going on. It felt a lot better when I was not doing that. I felt freer and with a cleaner energy. Thanks wolf that was an amazing post.
It's not important what other people would do. You have your own guiding system that shows you exactly what the way to go for you is. You just have to listen to it. You can start with the question "Going for this guy or going for a new one - what feels better?". If you decide that you want this guy, you have to find thoughts about him that feel good. I think right now you aren't in the position to visualise or at least it will bring you no good. Start to find new thoughts about the situation first - thoughts that feel better to you than the one you presented us here. What manifests in the end are your feelings, so doing any technique and feeling bad about it doesn't help.
"Self-abandonment. That is the secret. We have to abandon ourselves to the state, in our love for the state, and in so doing live the life of the state and no more our present state. And to make the state alive, one must become it."
Neville Goddard ~ The Law and the Promise
- Bandages
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Re: what if ethics and unknown circumstances prevent your abilities?
Thanks very much, Sanshi. I have sort of lost touch with my inner guidance over the years. He's away from this workplace for a few weeks I think so that gives me space. Is it a bad thing to take him out of my mind completely? I feel as if I want to disconnect any link and start anew. I miss the days when I didn't notice if he was there or not. It felt better then but maybe that's avoidant?
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Thread Starter- Sanshi
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Re: what if ethics and unknown circumstances prevent your abilities?
Thanks very much, Sanshi. I have sort of lost touch with my inner guidance over the years. He's away from this workplace for a few weeks I think so that gives me space. Is it a bad thing to take him out of my mind completely? I feel as if I want to disconnect any link and start anew. I miss the days when I didn't notice if he was there or not. It felt better then but maybe that's avoidant?
Don't worry. It's like a muscle. After you have trained it for a while, it will be strong again. When I started my journey, I was completely disconnected. Feeling bad was normal for me. You can fix that in a few months.
I think it is very healthy to step back from him, if you can do that. You can go back to thinking about him whenever you want, so why not focusing on yourself, if that feels right to you right now? Who told you that avoidance is always a bad thing? Listen to your feelings. They will always guide you in the right direction, even if the direction can be scary sometimes.
"Self-abandonment. That is the secret. We have to abandon ourselves to the state, in our love for the state, and in so doing live the life of the state and no more our present state. And to make the state alive, one must become it."
Neville Goddard ~ The Law and the Promise
- Eve210
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Re: what if ethics and unknown circumstances prevent your abilities?
You think about what those thoughts feel like to you.
Thinking it's wrong can't possibly feel good to you,
so you sorta have two options here:
- forget about it
- find ways to feel better about it
Because if you feel negative emotion, it is your Inner Being saying it doesn't agree,
IB doesn't see the particular action as wrong.
If your wish is to do RS on this man, then you've gotta line up with it.
If you "just do it and don't care", you haven't cleaned up your vibration about this subject
and it's going to keep feeling bad to you and therefore becomes counterproductive
to what you're hoping to achieve with this RS.
I would think better feeling thoughts here.
Take this wedding ring example, since thankfully there is nobody telling you "how it really is" (which does not mean anything anyway!),
you can choose for yourself what feels best to think regarding him not wearing a ring.
I would simply choose to think that he's not married or he doesn't care about the marriage,
whatever thought feels better to me than "he's married and therefore it's wrong for me to want him".
The important thing is always to remember that if you are going to take some sort of action,
line up with it, meaning make sure you feel good about it,
otherwise it's just counterproductive every single time.
You and sanshi wrote things in this thread that made so much sense to me! I don't have this problem but your replies are on point!! You girls are awesome!😘
- Bandages
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Re: what if ethics and unknown circumstances prevent your abilities?
Great. Thank you. If I may ask another question? This morning on my walk to work, all of a sudden I had this thought of walking with him, being caressed by him, holding hands etc. and it was a great feeling. Is it something you would allow because it feels good? I let it happen. It's just not in keeping with breaking the link... I guess your answer is going to be 'whatever feels good' 
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