I have two narcisstic exes and I'm very sensitive to such people now. When I meet someone and feel that he/she is a narcisst, I break ties immediately and I know why. This people are unhealthy. I wouldn't say that LoA is unable to work, but it's not practical. Sometimes it's the best and easiest thing to walk away and in your case, that's definitely so.
But what I would do if I were you is to think about why you attracted him in the first place. The two exes I was talking about came directly after each other and after that I thought about where this pattern was coming from. I started to think about what I wanted instead of what I didn't want and then a guy came who was the opposite of those two exes. So think it through and be careful that you don't develop a pattern.

Sanshi wrote:

I have two narcisstic exes and I'm very sensitive to such people now. When I meet someone and feel that he/she is a narcisst, I break ties immediately and I know why. This people are unhealthy. I wouldn't say that LoA is unable to work, but it's not practical. Sometimes it's the best and easiest thing to walk away and in your case, that's definitely so.
But what I would do if I were you is to think about why you attracted him in the first place. The two exes I was talking about came directly after each other and after that I thought about where this pattern was coming from. I started to think about what I wanted instead of what I didn't want and then a guy came who was the opposite of those two exes. So think it through and be careful that you don't develop a pattern.

You know I was attracted to his confidence...not knowing it wasn't real. Once I got into his life I empathize with all is events that made him more attractive because he over came them. But slowly as I saw he was negative and arguments became personal I noticed it was maybe immaturity and I could love him through it...then dooms day happened when I became a mom. He and I were now the enemies. The therapist explained my "error" was making him responsible for another kid and taking his freedom. That our kid caused me to be against him and his need to control. I have never been so confused but you know..I've totally heard him say this about his ex and now I get it...HIS logic makes since if I played devil's advocate and that's worrisome and heartbreaking.

I will totally use loa in other areas but in a relationship I'm currently too freaked out to imagine another go at it. But I am going to respond like you and walk away no run away. That is the best idea in this case.

barbidoll wrote:

My heart goes out to you.  I too was fooled once by someone tremendously narcisstic.  It always starts out wonderful  and becomes abusive and difficult.  Don't blame yourself    The error was not just the responsibility that was forced on him,  but that you were paying attention to someone else.  That is intolerable to him.

Lead with your heart  do what your heart and head tell you to do.   Perhaps use all your wonderful LOA skills to attract a wonderful relationship with a person who is balanced and loves you and the family.

We are all here for you  regardless of the choice you make      Put the bottle away  better yet throw it out for now    you don't need to self medicate    instead meditate on goodness and peace    Don't compound the problem sweetie .  I am here for you    as many of us are.  

 

Omg! Another person...how us this disease not as broadcasted as others!

I'm so happy to meet another "survivor" of it.

Yes...I'm putting the bottle away and thank you for your kind words.

I wish I could hug you 3!

You know, I went out with someone once who I was told probably had this.

He was someone I had known when I was younger but didn't go out with because I was just a kid.  I met up with him again years later and he went OTT, turning up at the first date with zillions of presents, and got very serious very quickly, wanted me to sell my house and buy one with him, marry him, all that jazz. Then he changed. He would never have a conversation - everything was arranged by text (this was 2004 - no FB or anything then).  This led to misunderstandings for example once he asked me to his place, which was 56 miles away.  I agreed loosely on a time as I had other commitments that day, and I was caught up in roadworks so was later than that.  He went ballistic, because he had booked concert tickets. But I had no idea about it.  If he had explained that, I would have altered my schedule. I got the complete silent treatment over it.  Same at Christmas.  He would ignore me and watch Sky Sports or Only Fools and Horses on repeat and then tell me I was uncommunicative.  It was a pointless relationship. Eventually he told me (by text) it was over and I contacted him back and said well if that was his decision, I would respect it.  He went mad saying that was me all over, I wouldn't have a conversation!!!

This is just a simplistic explanation of the few months I spent with him.  Luckily I was "not that into him" (beware, ex-backers!!!) but it did damage me and make me wonder what was wrong with me.

Sometimes, "it's not you, it's them" really is true. 

Last edited by PrettyFlamingo (8/03/2016 10:15 am)

Wow this just hit me like a ton of bricks. My ex who sadly I'm on here for has played me for two years and like others I have attracted him back many times but he's been worse each time.i won't go into the hundreds of things that have happened but today/yesterday was the reality check.
Today was a show I knew he'd be at but I had no money and actually didn't want to see him,i said this morning if I'm ment to be at the show I will be and lo and behold my neighbour said she was going and she'd treat me to go (guessing I manifested it/ment to be I just don't know I've been crying since 5pm and it's now 3am and I dont know what's real anymore) anyway he was there,surrounded by women,i couldn't help myself and spoke to him and said I was gonna go to his house tonight to sort it all out.as usual I got a text that he was busy and he didn't want me etc etc.
Please don't judge me but he's honestly left me with no-one to talk to about me and him so I spoke to a psychic and she listened and quietly told me to look up a website and everything would make sense.
Narcissist!! Not to some extremes but still definitely there.
So I snapped,believing he would be at work like he'd told me I packed up everything he's ever given me and went to drop it at his house.
He was home!another lie!another wave of excuses as why he was home!this man told me to go but then opened his door and waited for me inside.pretty much screaming in my face he doesn't want me over and over again but then kissing me and saying he would take me to bed but he's a better person than to do that then kissing me again then telling me to get out,then crying and then pretty much threw me out.
I know I'm not perfect and when he cheated on me the first time I've never got over it and constantly throw it at him so I'm 99% he's already seeing someone else (again have I manifested this I just don't know anymore) so now I'm lost I have to realise that the man I loved, want so desperately back actually never existed it was all just some strange smoke screen.i know just how painful this is but hopefully we can support each other