esty83 wrote:

The Chemist Thank you for your feedback.Im just not sure how to do it anymore. I do meditations, I listen to subconsicious positive audios I try to think of him only in a good light. But on the weekends when im alone i miss him like crazy  

That's totally understandable, and something I don't think we'll ever get past. I think a lot of it comes down to attitude, however. I know I feel very alone at certain times of the day—on the commutes, on evening walks in the city, doing the stupid dishes—and it really helps to focus on, say, someone's face on the street, or on the white lines in the road, or the droplets of water on the side of a glass. In those times, I'll either empty my mind completely and let myself feel the warmth and love I'm generating and gratefully receiving from the Universe, or I'll pretend my love is with me and consider what I'm pointing out to her and how enriching things are with her around. Gradually, the warmth spreads and I radiate love and acceptance and desire into the Universe as strongly as I can. 

Sometimes, you have to force yourself to feel a little better. It's like pushing a heavy cart, though—once you get started, it's really easy to keep going, and very difficult to stop.

Granted, this doesn't work every time, but neither did the first two hundred years of flight, so why shouldn't we keep trying?

Last edited by TheChemist (8/02/2016 6:22 pm)

I get what you're saying, Sanshi. I guess I meant that sense of missing will always linger a bit, and it's hard to release it. I can, for the most part, but it does sneak up on me from time to time. That's all I meant to say.

I like the way you phrase that second bit as well—that we should change our thoughts, not force our feelings to be a certain way. I'm going to take that information to heart and try to apply it more consistently. Thank you for that.

sanshi im more confused then ever now..whats the point of this forum? if not to attract our ex back using law of attraction

esty83 wrote:

sanshi im more confused then ever now..whats the point of this forum? if not to attract our ex back using law of attraction

Did I ever said you should give up on him? However, you can only apply something after you have understood how it works. With every one of my posts I had the intension to bring you closer to your desire, but if you don't understand that, you have to get a much better understanding of LoA. Of course this forum is there to help you to get the relationship you want, but when you watch the members here for a while, you will find that the ones who succeed are not the ones who visualise the most or cry the most or think about their person the most. The ones who succeed are people who understand that they only want their ex back, because they want to be happy. So they decide to be happy before the person is back and the person comes back.

It's so funny. Wanting a specific person back is the most selfish thing ever and people just want it to feel better, but when it comes to taking responsibility for their own happiness (what technically is the same thing) people don't seem to be interested anymore - waaay too much work. You can't base your happiness on another person. It never works. That's the paradoxical thing about LoA. You want your ex, because you think you will feel better -> he won't come. You decide to be happy regardless -> he comes, but you don't want him so much, because you know that he wasn't the reason for your happiness.

esty83 wrote:

i hear ya. so basically focus on myself..if someone asks me out i go out and enjoy myself. be happy. do the things i love and he will come back..my energy wont be on him it will be on me...gotcha..thanks sanshi!!!

wht about if their friend starts taking an interest? i know my ex may have sent his friend to scope me out to see if i am talking to him or what im doing bc all of a sudden he is popping back in?

should i not fall fo the traip and avoid it bc i know this guy is a player anyway and has a baby with another woman that he is divorced from..my other friend confirmed this to stay away that he is a playe...would this be him trying to show interest or my ex trying to get info? bc this guy tried to beak us apat before by lieing about info that wasn't true..so im wondering if my ex is digging for info its a wierd instinct like im going to get a text soon but it can be a jealous one...a very wierd feeling

You don't have to go out. Only when it feels good to you. Your joy should be the most important thing.

Apply that to this other guy. Does it feel good to have contact with him? Then go for it, else ignore him. When this guy was toxic once, chances are that you don't feel good about him, right? Don't analyse circumstances. Be a creator, not a reactor. Do you want to think about him? No? Then change your focus to more pleasant things. And if you want to think about him, what would feel better? You assume many things in your post that you don't really know. Start to assume things you like more, because you don't know "the truth" anyway.