Half of what you're saying is beautiful but half I find a little trapped and I feel a sense of low self worth. That sounds nasty like I'm trying to hurt you but I don't mean it like that. The part about you overcoming the issues your family gave you is so great! I did that too when I had to come to terms with my absent father and realise that I was always too clingy to my boyfriends and jumping through too many hoops to impress them because I felt unlovable because my father never gave me the love I needed to feel loved from men. Overcoming the past is the best way to begin the future  

But, for your own sake I would do more in depth reading of spiritual books and even teachings from people like the Dalai Lama and Abraham and Sadhguru and Deepak Chopra and other spiritual leaders...because I think what you may be doing is something I did about a year ago where you find information about spirituality that suits you and you don't want to hear anything other than what you read. You want him to be your twin flame, you want a twin flame to exist, but in the spiritual world, that's not a widely recognized thing really ! Abraham doesn't believe in soul mates, she says 'you mate with your soul' , meaning you are whole as you are and you don't need another for that. There are others who believe the same. Many teachers believe in chastity as the best way to reach the next life and meditation. It's completely possible to live a chaste and full life and it's also completely possible to live a life of more than one great love and live a full and happy life. The problem with your idea of ascension is that it almost implies that you and he would need to die together, what if one dies years before the other? Are they just left walking around as a ghost waiting for you? If you died years before him, wouldn't you like him to meet someone else for company? I believe what is going on with your relationship with him is similar to mine with my person, they are able to love you in a way that you love. That means, they are able to give you the love, attention, affection and support that you like the best and not everyone can do that. They might also have amazing chemistry with you and you might be really physically attracted to them. That isn't something you get from just anyone, they are special in this world to you, they are unique to you and that's the most important part. It's not that you need him or you won't live a happy after life , it's not that you need him to even live a happy life, but the feeling he gives you and the love he gives you is something you've never experienced before. It's the same with my person. He's my heroin, no matter how much he's hurt me, I still want him, I still want him to cuddle me at night and whisper 'you're my home', I still want him to smile at me and tell me that he loves me. But many girls wouldn't want someone who left them for someone else, many girls have that respect and deep seated idea of their worth that was given to them as children that they would rather move on and grieve the past than relive it.  

But the one thing I learnt, because I went through a very similar experience to you...got him back from a girl and lost him to another....is that actually, he's the one who's not in alignment with HIMSELF. He's looking for love in all the wrong places. It's impossible to just switch around from person to person and be totally whole inside. Whole people can't do that, after relationships, they need to time to get over the emotions until they can move on. Sometimes people do get over their partners while they are still with them, but if he only came back to you recently, then he didn't have time to fall in and out of love with you. He's all over the place in himself and he's not being real with himself. One day that will all come crashing down for him when he wakes up next to a girl and realises how he never had time for himself to be the man he wanted to be, he was too busy getting girls to love him to love himself. I used to hop from boy to boy until I realised it drained me and I couldn't do it anymore. At the end of it all, you're going to come out stronger and more secure and better than him

ShootingStar wrote:

But the one thing I learnt, because I went through a very similar experience to you...got him back from a girl and lost him to another....is that actually, he's the one who's not in alignment with HIMSELF. He's looking for love in all the wrong places. It's impossible to just switch around from person to person and be totally whole inside. Whole people can't do that, after relationships, they need to time to get over the emotions until they can move on. Sometimes people do get over their partners while they are still with them, but if he only came back to you recently, then he didn't have time to fall in and out of love with you. He's all over the place in himself and he's not being real with himself. One day that will all come crashing down for him when he wakes up next to a girl and realises how he never had time for himself to be the man he wanted to be, he was too busy getting girls to love him to love himself. I used to hop from boy to boy until I realised it drained me and I couldn't do it anymore. At the end of it all, you're going to come out stronger and more secure and better than him

From my understanding we have multitudes of twin flames and they do not always have to be romantic either. They are there to help shape you, now I have experienced other men in healing time, but it still does not compare to how I feel for him.

I agree that he doesn't love the girl he is with. He said he fears she will just leave him soon, which should tell him something, but his mind is still closed. When he described his feelings for the girl, I flashed into my mind. My friend told me that is because he is seeking me into this other girl. Now all the spiritual teachers I follow believe in loan and they always say to watch your thoughts.

Funny thing, I was very lovable in the beginning. I believed in myself and him. I was confident and no one can bring me down. My family was the one drilling fears in my mind, talking about their own experiences. That is where it all started, and that is when I started verbally abusing him believe it or not. Then I started feeling unworthy. I really am letting it go. I need to move forward and feel whole within myself.

In my situation with moving on real fast, I never felt drained because I flow like water. It was easy and I found it easy to move on from my past loves because although there was love, it was never so intense. I can fall in love with anyone no problem, but only ever truly loved him thus far. I know he means we'll and I am not pushing him. I looked within myself and right now I finally reached unconditional love.

Just want him to heal and be happy. I know how he must be feeling with the pain. I just know it and want him to find love within himself too. I tried helping him with that, but his ego overrided him and he was in denial that he can only find love by loving himself first and says he does love himself.

As well as using the excuse that everyone views love differently. But I clearly remember him saying he hates himself. So I just want him to find that happiness within himself more than anything right now.