There's this scene in a show called Skins where the guy is constantly calling his ex girlfriend because he loves her and wants her back but he screwed up and she won't pick up and he's ready to give up calling and tells his sister and his sister says 'don't stop calling' and he says 'but what's the point, she won't talk to me' and she says 'but she knows you're there'. Sometimes it's just about being consistent. Being there, and they know it, and that means a lot. Sure right now he may not reply, but that doesn't matter, because at least he knows that you're there in some way and that the door hasn't slammed shut and even though it might seem like a bad thing at first, every time after break ups I do my best to show my exs I want back that I'm still there and I have the door open and then one day when I naturally stop calling or texting, they reach out to me and start telling me they miss me, because they realise that being there for someone in this cold world is actually worth a lot. Especially guys, they will try to reach for girls that seem hard to get or out of their league, but eventually will settle down with the girl who shows consistency and commitment. So don't worry about a reply but feel good about the fact that he knows you're there and that's enough and he won't forget you so easily  

Big Blue, frankly I sense nervousness behind your posts and I feel like it's been building up ever since you posted about that party he's having.

I get it, you really want to see him and you really want to hear from him. I feel like you're anticipating things to work out for you through this text and party invite but you're kind of nervous that it won't, so there's an element of rush to it.

In other words, it seems like you're focusing too much on the conditions because you expect them to give you satisfaction. But it doesn't feel like you're looking at the conditions from a state of knowing or optimism, it feels like you're nervous.

What are the conditions? Being without him is a condition - you can get back with him later on or even meet someone better. The text messages are a condition - they don't have to mean anything, later on you could very well receive a text conversation that you've always wanted. The party is a condition - things can still happen before and after it. What other people say is a condition - always subject to change. You can't find happiness in conditions because they're always changing. Therefore, the point is not to get lost analyzing the conditions and overthinking them. It's all about your energy first - tuning into your thoughts and feelings - listening to yourself and not the shadows. The way I see it, it's all about building up the right energy - feeling the optimism, the confidence, the love - without needing conditions to justify why you deserve it now.

You know intellectually that you've gotta focus on your vibes and chill out, but emotionally it may be hard to implement. So here's how I would go about it:

1. Practice deep breathing for a few minutes and focus directly on your breath. If you feel negative feelings or nervous tension, don't deny them - just feel them and be aware of them without judgement and it'll feel better.

2. Pick some of your favorite songs and listen to them with complete mindfulness for 10-15 min.

3. Now that you're calm, visualize a scene that makes you feel loved, that makes you feel all the feelings you would like to feel with the relationships of your dreams. Maybe those feelings are optimism, love, connection, sexual, - pick a scene that brings out those feelings you want in your life and visualize it, experience it and really relish in it for 15 min. If visualization isn't your style, try your other favorite techniques like affirmations, scripting, etc.

4. Now focus on the rest of your day and enjoy it, do what feels awesome for you so that by the end of the day you can say it was a really good day.

5. Whenever you feel like enjoying that scene again, come back to it. If you feel longing or nervousness again, come back to mindfulness. Listen to a song and be mindful of it for 5 min and then visualize the scene of your desires being fulfilled for 10-15 min.

This always helped me to chill out and build up the right energy to match my desires when I really needed it.

Last edited by Colonel Roosevelt (7/27/2016 2:18 pm)

CR is right. When I first read that you want to manifest going to this party I thought that it is probably not such a good idea, but I didn't say anything, because your vibe seemed better than before and I didn't want to bring you down. The problem with this party is that you have a kind of time limit. LoA doesn't have a problem with specific dates. If you want it for the first of october, that works, but only if you are easy about it. In my opinion, dead lines are never a good idea in matters you care much. Why do you feel the need to rush? Was your desire really to go to the party or did you hope something would happen there? Like CR said, you seem to check out the conditions. "If he invites me, that means that he thinks about me". The problem is that you are disappointed, if it doesn't happen. Try to avoid such situations. It make you tensed and brings your vibe down in most of the cases. Concentrate on yourself and don't put unnecessary pressure on you.