Call it inspired action I felt compelled tonight to share this story because I realized it was filled with so much learning and proof that all our desires can be manifested - but there is a catch.

About 6 years ago, at work - I saw a guy who I immediately thought was absolutely gorgeous. I wasn't brave enough to believe I could stand even a chance with him but I loved watching him : he was a tall Dutch man with big beautiful blue eyes and such a coolness to him, k felt like a teenager in love with cutest guy in high school.

On top of that I saw him everyday at least once, sometimes at the pantry getting coffee or j would find a reason to walk down the corridor so I could catch a glimpse of him. He was always very polite with me and sometimes came by our office to ask a few questions.

One day, as I was working on the computer out of nowhere : he messaged me on the office communicator. I was surprised but at the same time not really : it was work and we were the office where you could get all answers around the office so it wasn't too surprising.

A few days later he sent me his number so I could tell him what good places to go as he was new in town. I didn't think anything about it but I was hopeful still ' realistic ' as in ain't no way in The Good Lord's earth is this man interested in me ... But by golly if he is : I'm taking the bait woop woop !

So I started writing a book where I put in my thoughts and wishes ( scripting anyone ? ) and I would meet with a group of like minded people where we shared our desires and visualized for each other : I obviously asked for a date with mr Adonis of my life.

Next thing you know : he says we should go for a drink when I'm back from vacation and just hang out ... I think he just wants to be friends so no resistance I say yes, k come back and with inspired action I remind him - and 24 hours later : I'm sitting with my dream guy having a drink going out ... It was a bit awkward to be honest but comfortable enough that we enjoyed each other... No kiss though - just a date - since I asked for it that's exactly what I got.

And then I got insecure : my scripting turned into a legit pity party negative nancy outlet of why this whole thing was all over the place, he started getting a bit wishy washy and even forgot about a date we had set up , so I got more wishy washy even though in my weekly meetings I would ask for an opportunity to be with him. I still wasn't getting that my focus needed to change - I was just so overwhelmed and insecure that I could calm myself down for a bit and then meltdown again.

This is all over 8 months, 3 dates ( one where he came over my place and we hung out ), he came out with me and my friends one night as well to support one of my shows - noooooooooo kiss - nothing ! Zilch! Nada !

I remember going out some point in October, beach party - he was there with a group of people. Talking to some girl. I remember looking at him and telling to myself : enough. I give up. I'm tired of this ****, he can do what he wants, I'm done.

I partied - enjoyed the night - we all took pictures and decided we were going to an after party so we shared a cab. And as we sat in the cab I was looking out the window, I felt his hand ..grabbing mine. I smiled. I didn't look at him I just smiled. We got to the party stayed a bit, walked back to his place holding hand hands... And when we got there he made me some tea, we watched the sunrise from his balcony and then he kissed me.

PEOPLE!! Just like that ... I looked at him and said ; what ... The f,,,k took you so long ?!! And he said : I just wasn't sure if you felt the same. And I thought to myself : this some bs... It took all this time because basically I couldn't just stick to my vibration of hell yeah I want to ?! And so he couldn't figure me out.

All I wanted happened within hours of me genuinely saying : I stop fighting.

You know what though ? It didn't work - it didn't stick - because all this time I focused on manifesting him I didn't spend time on healing the things that were blocking it in the first place : the insecurity, the negativity , the emotional dependency of wanting his validation. So I manifested what I wanted but I didn't know how to keep it.... And so I couldn't .

And that was actually even harder to deal with and he lingered for a while always trying to connect but somehow it just didn't stick. It couldn't because there was no foundation to build upon. That's the catch.

You can manifest anything you want - but you Have to do the work, you have to become the person that can be a match to the relationship not just the person, or you will just keep having to manifest them back.

Don't under estimate the advice that it all begins with you. I see when people read success stories : they want to know how bad the situation was and how it magically healed- they don't want to hear that you have to love yourself, be at peace with yourself and stop focusing on the person because it  sounds paradoxical... But it's not.

In my story he showed up when I gave up on him and did the most self loving thing I had done in ages : I chose myself. I chose my sanity over whatever I thought I felt for him and I decided that night that I was going to enjoy myself and stop pinning over him.

And just like that ... He came and it turned out this whole time, he was asking himself the same questions about me. Your desire also desires you, otherwise you wouldn't desire it ... Just acknowledge it, be specific about what you want and then by golly : give up and move on.

Works like magic ! Xo