Inkii I think that you are and were always too attached to the outcome and too intense about it all. I remember you thought I was attacking you once when I wasn't, I think you were so fixated on getting this guy back that you put in too much energy and now youre crashing on the idea of this all because you were just in a vibe of 'this must happen or else nothing good will ever happen to me again and I'll never be happy' .

At the end of the day, its a feeling your chasing , not a person. You want to love someone and be loved by that person. That seems so hard to attain these days that when you got it for that moment in time, you mentally associated love and this person together, blocking you from associating love as a feeling that can happen for a person (not just this one person).

According to the law of attraction, if you are open to love, you will attract love. If you are joyous and friendly and optimistic, you will enjoy life more and feel joy more easily than if you aren't. And if you really want something and believe you can get it, you will , and if you really want something and don't get it, then you didn't really think you could get it OR it wasn't what you really wanted ... I think that's what is happening in my case anyway.

Sanshi wrote:

Just found a Abe audio that could be interesting for you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hk03ND3yJps

I had a listen.. So here it goes..  I have not been listening to Abe as much, only because she seems to talk in riddles. (IMO) so then I get frustrated cause I wish they would JUST SAY WHAT THE HECK THEY ARE SAYING. Lol. So it seems i need someone to word it in a way that I can understand. I've never been good at reading between the lines, or beating around the bush. So I listened to the video.. Somewhat got what she was saying, but not really. Lol

ShootingStar wrote:

I personally like the idea of being in control, I want to have control of my life in all areas, but some of my best days or events or happenings have not been in my control.. Its strange how it can happen how we can discover better things while wanting our original desire. I often think of how lucky I was to Not get back an ex boyfriend I wanted 5 years ago because if he came back, I think I would have gone back to him and then would have missed out on my first love he did come back in earnest 2 years later BTW and I had to let him down. Its about attitude, deciding to let yourself be happy over controlling everything. Love comes mostly when we least expect it and often from people we would have never have guessed could bring it. Why wait for one person to feel love, feel it every day from other people and things love is the ultimate desire and you deserve to feel it every day , even if one day you just fall a bit in love with a cheesecake or a beautiful fountain or a cute dog

I'm sorry shooting star, but I always get the impression that you are trying to persuade me away from wanting a relationship with whom I'm wanting it. Which is why I really don't respond to you very much. Yes love is what I'm after.. But even tho I get frustrated/confused/ irritated..yada yada.. I do not believe I have to give up my preference for it to be him. So please.. I'm asking you to please stop trying to convince me that HE isn't what I want. Please. It's not helping me what so ever

iinikkii wrote:

Sanshi..

I really am ready to just feel good and be happy. When I say it's too much, I'm refering to constantly "working" on this is wearing me out. I guess the reason it has and is taking me so long to WANT to "get on another subject" i.e: relax, let it be.. Is because I've always looked at that as me "giving up" .. And all my life I've considered myself a "fighter", as in I don't give up. Never in my life have I ever GIVEN UP. So I guess maybe it hurts my "complex" to do so (as rediculous as that may sound). I've always thought "well if i give up then how will this happen" almost like the saying " if you want something done, you gotta do it yourself". So yah, that's been me. But maybe all of y'all are right? Well.. Not maybe, you are right. last time I got him back, I had no knowledge of loa. NONE. And I fought it with everything in me. I tried and tried and tried. And eventually I "gave up" trying. I still wanted him very much so. But I did give up, went on about my business and just tried to be happy regardless. I didn't date anyone, only bc I hadn't met anyone that "rang my bells" in the way that I like. But I did have interest. I got happy, did me, felt good, looked good, started doing crafts (which I LOVE to do crafts) actually it was after I had "given up" last time that I even discovered that I really really enjoy doing crafts. ( Like DIY crafts Pinterest style). I just started feeling good and I just somehow new we would get back together.. But I wasn't worried about it. And then after a little bit of time after I "gave up" and just started worrying about ME and MY life.. He came. And it was DELICIOUS!

I think this time I don't know if I necessarily just KNOW he will come back. I think initially I felt that way, but after pushing and pushing I think I may have lost that KNOWING part. And that trips me up somehow. Maybe because I've been taught ( or interpreted what I've been taught) that I have to BELIEVE 100% before I can let go, otherwise it won't happen. but even when I say that it sounds screwy to me. ( I will say tho.. I know he loved me. I KNOW he did)

I know that inevidibly you all have your own lives and I'm not yalls problem to deal with. But I take more from all of y'all then you know. Sometimes I just read the responses over and over. Sometimes i just kinda let what is being said to me soak in more. So i do apologize if I come off ungrateful, because I very much so am grateful for the even existence of this forum and all of you whom are apart. I was DEPRESSED when I first come here.. And if nothing else ( which isn't the case, but just elaborating a bit) something about this place really helped me to pull myself out of depression, which at that point and time I couldn't see any way out of it. And actually from hindsight it was rather easy and really didn't take tootling after coming here thank was feeling better physically, and actually living my life. So I am very grateful. Even when it's "tough love" it's love nonetheless

I completely understand why you see it as giving up. I wouldn't think that I'm an ambitious person, but if something is really important to me, I'm very tenacious and fight for it until I get it (and trust me, I get it. ;) ). So getting off the subject has felt wrong to me too for a long time. In fact, if you would have ask me 2 weeks ago or maybe even 1 week ago... I wasn't ready to give up on the thoughts about him. The problem is that this behavior/thinking is a leftover of our old world view. I understand why you are afraid of giving up the thoughts about him (not the desire), but we have focused on our guys for a whole while now and nothing has happened yet, let's try something else just for a while. You can get back to the thoughts about him whenever you want. Give him a little time to screw up his current relationship and concentrate on yourself, because you are SO worth it to be happy. <3

I love doing crafts, too. Let's talk about that. Why do you like it? What do you enjoy the most? What is your master piece you are the most proud of? What's your next/current project?

I know that's not the same thing and a specific person seems (!) to be harder to attract, but I will share it anyway: I attracted a university place last year and EVERYTHING fell into place perfectly. In Germany, it's hard to get a university place for psychology and you need really good grades which I haven't. But I was lucky (or loay) and other rules applied to me, because I already had a Bachelor. At first, I didn't believe that I would get a place, because every university had only 1-3 places for people who already had a final degree, but somehow my ex believed I would get a place and slowly I started to believe it too, but I still had doubts once in a while. To make a long story short, I didn't only get a university place, but one in the city I wanted to go most. It wasn't that I fully believed all the time, it was more that I thought "if it doesn't work out this year, I can try again next" and I was very passionate about it and every time I thought about studying psychology, it felt sooo good. I was relatively relaxed even though my whole future depended on it..lol. So I think it isn't that you need to believe always 100%, maybe it's more the mindset "if it doesn't work out today, it can still work out tomorrow, so I'm in no rush". In my case, it worked out miraculously the very first time.

Btw, I really like the vibe of your post. It's completely different than the vibe of many others of your posts and I'm enjoying replying right now much more than usual. So keep it up. You did it once, you can do it again, that's for sure. And don't beat up on yourself, because you find it difficult to let it go for a while. It's not an easy thing to do. The whole LoA isn't easy to apply, if you have done it completely different your whole life - and that's for most of us the case. So be your own best friend and be patient with yourself.

I'm glad you benefit from our responses. Sometimes, one isn't in the right place to understand something and it takes a while to get it, so getting back to one the next day or later can be a good thing. Everyone has their own speed of growing and that's completely okay. Just don't stop and you can't lose. At least not with us by your side.

So.. I really think you could benefit from slowing this whole frustrated, confused vibe. Step away, because from this vibration, you only perpetuate your confusion. You have the opportunity right this second to walk outside and breathe in the air and feel a little better NOW. And THAT shift will do more for you in the future than sitting on here arguing about not having what you want. It's about feeling better. Every moment of every day. Feeling a little better. Period.