Isn't it true how life works out in such a way that you seem to get what you wanted when you don't want it anymore. Not always, sometimes you get what you want when you want it but I've found that I've gotten things when that original burning desire has worn off, and I enjoy getting the thing but some of that magic has worn off and it just feels like 'oh yeah, great! I wanted this and I got it OK...now what's next?' Recently I tried making contact with a very old boyfriend who's wanted me for years. At first he was happy then I think because of how long it had been, he got bored? Just kind of disappeared. It was weird for me because I always thought he'd be there waiting for me, delighted, but no...he was but then he moved on in his mind. But now I respect him a bit more than I did. Classic case. I know he's happy in his life, things worked out for him exactly as he wanted them to and he's doing great. Another reason why he re sparked my interest. You don't just forget people who made a mark on you, they live in your heart and you do wonder and think of them. There's no rush really although I guess in this case, I was too late but its been 7 years it makes sense. It took that long for me to want to reconnect, but I did. So if you haven't heard from your person in a while, don't think it's necessarily final, don't think they don't remember you, as long as you left a mark in them they can't forget you. Time also erases pain and anger. It makes you only think fondly of your past. And time heals. Time also can make us glamourize about our person, suddenly they become god like, infallible, the best. And then we see them or hear from them and get to know them again and we can get disillusioned, like how I felt he felt about me. I'm not the one that got away anymore, I'm the one who came back and wasn't everything he hoped for. I wasn't this fictional perfect girl he had in his head for 7 years, when he had the chance with me back, I was just the girl who hurt him when he was young and who is just a normal girl. One day I think I will feel that way about my person and that will help me rebuild a relationship with him. But that burning desire I think won't be there as much as 'oh cool he came back and he likes me and we can have a shot at this again, OK that's great'

Last edited by ShootingStar (7/15/2016 6:57 am)