That is a great reminder
 

Sanshi wrote:

Inloveandsohappytogether wrote:

Sanshi wrote:

Yes, in the end, this journey is about our own happiness and not about any guy. I know most people don't want to hear that in the beginning, but it's freeing to finally accept it.

 
It really really really is. It's almost like we're so blinded by our desire and so caught up in the belief that our happiness is dependent on having this thing - I liken the freeing sensation to finding something we've been looking for for a long time and realize the whole time it was right there....

I haven't been this happy in a long time and I realize it wasn't because I didn't have what I thought I wanted, it's because I wouldn't allow myself to be happy until I did . Like a child who is told they'll get what they want once they finish their broccoli 😂😂😂😂

I'm an adult now, and I can be happy if I want to, regardless of the broccoli.

It's so strange. Most people really don't want to be happy before they have their desire. On the one hand, I completely understand it, because I was there too, on the other hand it's illogical and stupid. They somehow fear that they don't longer need the thing they want, if they are happy without it. That's true in a sense, but why is it so desirable to need something? I don't longer get it..lol.

I'm so happy that you have found happiness within yourself, because I really like your vibe/you. It's so good to finally understand what a big gift this breakup was. And with that big gift, you can attract a much better, new relationship (with a better version of the same person if you like of course). You only can win. It only can get better and better from where you are now.

Btw, I like broccoli. And even if you don't like it, look how beautiful it is.
 

Aaww thank you I like your vibe a lot too- you know it's funny because I used to be a bit self conscious about coming across too needy or insecure when going through the process in my head. It's funny to see now that it was once again me completely projecting my own insecurity.

That being said you're absolutely right. It's illogical to believe that we can't be happy and still want what we want or that if we're happy without it, it means it won't be happen. But I do think somewhere in our education, our parents using infringe to get us to do things we didn't want to do made us believe first we have to go through the unwanted to get the wanted.

That along with the mindset of seeing is believing can make the act of having faith that everything is okay despite circumstances a bit more of a challenge.

But the realization is worth it. The acceptance and knowing that we're okay regardless is such an amazing high I'm still completely riding on it. And for the first time it's not ego, it's not me saying ' well who care about them anyway I'm a fighter and I'm awesome ' - it's a lot more gentle, a lot deeper. I think this is what cherished was trying to get me to understand this whole time and you tremendously helped in understanding the logic behind it so thank you.

Most of all, what is fascinating is that I just kinda of snapped out of it some connection happened and everything made sense.

Exhilarating !!!

Sanshi wrote:

You started with a great energy (see the title of this thread), then you had your..phase and now you are back and better than ever.
Of course it's our education. No one ever said that it's easy to forget everything you have ever learned and shift your complete thinking. It's damn hard. I saw a mother with a little girl today and the girl made an excursion on her own. The mother yelled at her, because she wanted to go and was impatient. The girl ignored her (she knows exactly how to ignore reality ;) ), then the mother threaten her and then they ran after her and caught her. What does this little girl learn? The happiness of her mother is dependent on her behaviour. Now she is still looking at her own well-being, but soon she will ignore her guidance and do everything to make her mother happy. And when her mother needs her to behave in a specific way, how should she learn to be unconditional in her happiness? Or better put..how should she not unlearn how to be unconditional happy?
But many years ago, we were this little girl and we were unconditional in our happiness. It's our nature, so we can get back to that state.

I don't know with which realisation I helped you exactly, but you are welcome.
At some point, it just clicks and suddenly everything fits together - you are in the right vibration to understand it.

I think it was how logical you were in your approach that resonated with me- case and point your example above about the little girl. We were all that little girl and I know in my case I grew up with the mission to keep my mom happy. On top of that I was promised things I wanted after I did things I didn't - except I never actually got them lol so it created a stupid program I focused on for years trying to understand it.

I realize now it doesn't matter what the program was, I acknowledge it was there and consciously decide to change it. That's it. I used to think I had to do therapy, NLP, EFT and all types of acronyms when they were just keeping my focus on a problem needing fixing.

It's crazy how we're so used to being unhappy that we're terrified of changing for the sake of feeling better.

Again you were right, I had forgotten that I had started this thread that way because I was so caught up in going through my phase which again was a perfect part of the plan because it allowed me to get to my realization.

Everything really does work out for the best - regardless of circumstances, hindsight is 20/20
 

Sanshi wrote:

Maaan, I'm so gifted that I can approach something logical even though it's completely nonrational.
Yes, it's true that therapy and all that stuff keeps the focus on the problem, but sometimes it can be scary to let go of the problem. When I heard abou LoA the first time years ago, I thought I was somehow delusional and still felt the need to be informed. I felt guilty for not doing anything against all the bad stuff on this world. Then a new peace movement came up a few years ago and the idea behind it was to focus on peace and not being against war. The idea was great, but it doesn't work for long. It was a wonderful vibe in the beginning and then the people started to talk about war and so on and guess what? We began to argue in the group, people stopped showing up, because of other people and so on.. We took the war vibe in the group. I don't reall know why I'm telling this story..lol. But since then I really think there is no need EVER for us to focus on something that doesn't please us. It has no positive effect. If we allow us to focus on what we like, we don't need therapy (says the psychology student) or any technique. If we really understand this, we are free and no one can take it from us ever again.

Maaannn you really are
It's quite interesting what you're saying especially because of what's going on in the world these days. I'm trying to stay away from the news and my Facebook feed because everyone is talking about what is and unfortunately the what is of that world is not one I want in mine. But I do notice that as people focus on it more and get emotional, more of the what-is keeps happening.

I want to fill with my head with all the things I'd like to observe in my life : love, laughter, health, abundance, infinite possibilities - so I only read, watch, learn about that.

I even noticed how at a time I thought it would help my dating life to read about unavailable men and how to recognize them, the 'he's not that into you' and why men marry bitches types of books - only to find myself surrounded by said type of men and thinking all the good ones were officially endangered species.

It's so interesting in hindsight when you look back at why your world looked the way it did and how everything could change in a split second if I just tilted my head a little for a different perspective

We discuss topics to death especially among girls when it comes to relationships - we want to analyze and understand why what happened happened only to get more confused about why it keeps happening lol ...

People really are funny creatures, and we make fun of puppies when they're trying to catch their tails, when we do the exact same thing 😂😂