We went to a family party with all of my friends where he ended up getting very very drunk. we kissed in his car at first, but then he got super sick and i had to drive us both home. i took care of him as he was throwing up and stuff ( you know i love him because i did not get grossed out lmao ) but as i was waiting for him to get better i did something i was ashamed of. i looked through his messages to see if he still talked to his ex and i obviously found things i didn't like. She ended up calling twice while i was driving and he qas knocked out.
i think after this situationi have finally realized how amazing of a person i am, and quite honestly if he doesn't realize what he has its his damn loss. I am in a " i don't give  a **** anymore " mood. but i am a littke bummed. i just needed to vent.