Thank you so much Sanshi! I feel a bit better just after reading your post. I know you're right and most people probably don't go by what someones ex has to say about them. My close friends have reminded me that mutual friends know his character (he's known to be negative) and know mine and that people know better than to believe the negative things he says. That's why I end up feeling frustrated with myself. I know I shouldn't care. I know I wouldn't want people who believe him and agree with the negative things he says to be in my life. I normally do a pretty good job at pivoting when I'm having negative thoughts. I normally occupy myself with something I love to do like colouring or listening to music. I don't know why but today it's just bothering me a little more. Maybe it's because I'm feeling ill to begin with. And you have a really good explanation that never occurred to me. It probably is happening repeatedly because I'm acknowledging it each time. Not necessarily because of other thoughts I've had. I had reservations about posting this to begin with because I hate giving my power away to people and situations like this and I know the situation is likely to expand with attention. Sometimes I just feel like I need some encouraging words. Thanks again!

Yes, that's true about the contrast. I wasn't thinking about that. You're right. I think we all need the contrast once in a while so we appreciate the positive even more. In regards to giving this my attention, I think I'll remove more of our mutual friends on Facebook. The less I see of him the better. I want to keep my vibe high. As I've mentioned, I hate giving my attention to things like this and reiterating the situation but sometimes I think it's beneficial like as in receiving great advice and so we can be reminded of certain things that can uplift us. When something happens to make us feel bad it helps to share so we can receive different points of view and to help put thing into perspective. Your noise pollution situation sounds crazy! That makes me not want to give this guy another thought, I'm afraid now lol. I'm cringing at the thought of bringing more of him into my world lol.

I would look at this as a positive manifestation. Bad things happening could be blessings in disguise. In your intention to be free and be happy, your Life is revealing to you what you can let go of to be even more free and happy. Like a mirror to yourself, these events are bringing out your own fears of criticism and judgement into awareness. It seems that your self-esteem is very much dependent on what people think of you, even if its unconscious, and that might be the big idea behind the stress here. So I would just relax, soothe myself, and listen to my inner voice, aware of my thoughts and feelings without judgment, and see what my fear about this is. And once I know what the fear is - what can I do to soothe myself and release it?

This sounds totally familiar. You know the phrase hurt people hurt people??? Well it's true.

At first people will say others can't affect you if you know who you are but if that were true we wouldn't be in the forum. Let's say your esteem is crushed due to what he said or others might think...OK acceptance Is everything. You accept you don't like it...what next? Let's DO something else!

I was once 314 lbs. I felt no fear and had any man I wanted. When I lost the weight and became a curvy 167...I WAS SCARED. I didn't know this me..I was totally fearful and searching for acceptance from any man because now I believed they would tear down my doors because society made me believe that what smaller woman get.


The thing is..heavier I protected myself and my thinking. I KNEW myself and knew without a doubt that there was absolutely NO ONE ALIVE that was like me! That meant I WAS A DAMN GOOD CATCH.

You have to take a look at you first and determine if it's his comments or your true self beliefs.

If his comments bother you.. take away anyone's power to be able to comment period or reply knowing you'll be able to protect yourself by saying if all you got is negative I've had enough get gone!

The more you pose as a brilliant one of a kind piece of luxury the more you get treated as one!


My guy was so cruel when we broke up. His mood swings are awful. But do is his beliefs about his life. I began to accept it wasn't me and the pain wasn't welcomed. I honestly think I scared him off now that I nip it in the butt within seconds if him getting record up.

But no more do I feel he will lash out on my without thinking twice. You definitely arent alone..and although loa is real, so is self awareness and esteem development.

Remember no two people are alike. That in itself makes you beautiful. Now own it. And defend it. Wether in action, reaction or non acknowledgement...know YOU choose the out come.