1 of 1- PrettyFlamingo
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- From: God's Own County
- Registered: 4/22/2016
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If people reflect our vibration ...........
......... which is what I have read on here, then what is happening here?
My best friend is always very quiet - when we are out I am the one doing all the talking, asking questions, filling in the gaps and so on. She doesn't contribute or have a conversation, a debate, a discussion - and quite honestly it is exhausting. If I didn't talk, we would sit in silence and it is so awkward.
She's getting more introverted, and I don't know how to deal with it. But I don't think I have caused it. Unless I am just "too much" for her - but I cannot sit in silence in a pub. It's pointless.
Be a flamingo in a flock of pigeons.
- Sanshi
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Re: If people reflect our vibration ...........
I'm very introverted and especially in my teens I had a hard time talking to people, because I just didn't know what to talk about. I sometimes still have that problem, BUT it completely depends on my counterpart. There are people I meet for the first time and I could talk for hours and there are people I never know what to talk about even after I know them for a while or even for years.
"Self-abandonment. That is the secret. We have to abandon ourselves to the state, in our love for the state, and in so doing live the life of the state and no more our present state. And to make the state alive, one must become it."
Neville Goddard ~ The Law and the Promise
- Sanshi
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Re: If people reflect our vibration ...........
Sam wrote:
You have the expectation that that is how she will behave and so that's what plays out in your reality.
^That's exactly it. You say she is introverted, so that's your expectation. Maybe she had just a bad day and was even more quiet than normal. And now you start to think about it more, you start to discuss it here with us and you are reinforcing the reality you don't want.
There was a guy at university who was hanging out with my friends. I wasn't friends with him. I felt he just didn't like me, but I couldn't avoid being around him, because we had the same friends, so I started to think different thoughts about him. Everytime I thought that he doesn't like me, I replaced that thought with that he does like me. I did this for maybe 2 weeks. One day after a lecture, I had to ask something and when I had the answer to my question, everyone had already left the room...except this guy. I was a bit confused, because he never waited for me, we never even talked so much. But this day, he waited for me and we walked to the bus stop together (it was the first time in 1 1/2 years). I never saw him again after that, because he had to leave my university, but that was a quite interesting experience.
"Self-abandonment. That is the secret. We have to abandon ourselves to the state, in our love for the state, and in so doing live the life of the state and no more our present state. And to make the state alive, one must become it."
Neville Goddard ~ The Law and the Promise
- Colonel Roosevelt
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Re: If people reflect our vibration ...........
I'm an introvert myself and we just need the quiet sometimes, when people fill the silence with mindless chatter, it's like an agonizing static that zaps our energy and calm.
When I was a teenager, I was much more talkative before my depression but afterwards I was much more quiet and observant because it gave me more inner peace after my depression, so keep in mind that we all have our own journeys and we just need to be who we are. After all, you wouldn't want to change who you are just to make someone else comfortable, would you?
And one thing I notice about many extroverts I meet is that they say I'm very shy and quiet, but in truth I never say much because they go on and on and on...never giving me a chance to speak....they never shut up and let me respond lol.
Also, they often ramble on about things I have no interest in so of course I don't say much. Usually if it's a family member or a friend, out of respect for them I'll just listen.
There aren't many people I know who I can talk to about the things I love to talk about...so often people don't get to see that side of me, they get the quiet, observant side because they want to talk about their own stuff but don't understand much of my interests and passions.
Many of my introverted friends in college thought of me as an extrovert because I always talked first with them and opened up conversations, but of course talking with them is easier because they didn't ramble so much and they gave me a chance to speak lol.
Playing Devil's Advocate, maybe the point here is not to apply your thoughts to change her but apply your thoughts to change the way you see the situation. Does her being more quiet than you have to be a bad thing? If you see it as a bad thing, you'll only suffer more. Or can you accept her and accept how things are? With acceptance, it's a lot easier to feel good and attract good things. After all, wouldn't you want your best friend to do the same for you?
- PrettyFlamingo
- Electrified
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- From: God's Own County
- Registered: 4/22/2016
- Posts: 1,867
Re: If people reflect our vibration ...........
they go on and on and on...never giving me a chance to speak....they never shut up and let me respond lol.
Also, they often ramble on about things I have no interest in so of course I don't say much. Usually if it's a family member or a friend, out of respect for them I'll just listen.Does her being more quiet than you have to be a bad thing? If you see it as a bad thing, you'll only suffer more. Or can you accept her and accept how things are? With acceptance, it's a lot easier to feel good and attract good things. After all, wouldn't you want your best friend to do the same for you?
I do ask her things, but get "mmm" and yes/no answers. I ask her things about herself, not just rambling on about me all the time. For example, when we have both read the same book (she passes them on to me) I ask her for her opinion, and she doesn't really have one - or can't remember the plotline - I thought that would be a point of similarity for us.
It really is awkward on a night out when the person you are with doesn't talk. It's not so bad when there are more than the two of us, as it can be diluted. Then I start to think it is just me!!!
Be a flamingo in a flock of pigeons.
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Thread StarterVeronica Isles LOA coach veronicaislescoaching.com