The problem is that people have their opinion about how the world functions, and then they hear about LoA and try to integrate LoA in their old world view. And that simply doesn't work. You have to be willing to give up your old world view and search for new models.
My world view is kinda incomplete, so I haven't found the ultimate answer to my own questions yet, but think about it for a moment. LoA says that our world reflects our vibration. If we try to integrate this in our world view, we have a problem. Let's say you are vibrating on the right frequency to have a happy relationship with your guy. But the other girl vibrates at a happy relationship frequency as well, so who gets the guy? In this model, the girl had to have fears of losing the guy, so that you can attract him. But that's against another premise of LoA: It works every single time. So either it doesn't work every single time and it's a lottery, or your model of the world is wrong. You can't prove one or the other, so you can choose which one you prefer.

The only model in which LoA can work properly is the parallel reality thing (or at least I can't think of another possibility). And when every single possibility exists, you don't have to feel guilty. Just because you live the reality that you get your guy back doesn't mean that the girl experiences the same.

Why are you even giving the other girl that kind of brain power? Who cares what her backstory is- this is entirely irrelevant. You have to wish her well and trust that when you and ur specific guy end up together, that frees her up to meet the true love of HER life! Because you choose this guy. He's yours. What holds you back is your insistence on viewing this from a logical mindset. And LOA is not logical. Manifestation is completely and entirely a spiritual exercise.

You have to be willing and able to let go of facts and logic, evidence that contradicts your desire and basically everybody else's opinions. You have to become one with Neville!: “Therefore, when you know what you want, you must deliberately focus your attention on the feeling of your wish fulfilled until that feeling fills the mind and crowds all other ideas out of consciousness.”

It's not about trying to figure a way, it's about ALLOWING this new idea to slowly percolate and permeate and breathe and GROW. Stop telling the story about why you CAN'T do this, and look at the possibility that you CAN!

I agree Sanshi, that line was pretty bad ass.

Cherished as usual you totally get me : I'm a logical person and this loa business makes absolutely no logical sense to my reasoning mind. On top of that I tend to feel like a bit of an idiot when I find myself trying to figure out whys because that's what my reasoning mind would do.

And as much as there are more people who don't succeed ( let's be real bless us) the ones that do ( shout to you cherished and your successful possee ) show that somewhere somehow it might be possible because there can't be that many coincidences.

It seems easy on the surface but this stuff is super difficult to do because as human beings with emotions well we emote and allowing those things to come up and find a way to ignore what triggers them is some serious mental schizophrenia at times.

Do I want the guy ? Yes - but not at the expense of my sanity and this whole time I have seriously been insane : constantly doing the same thing and expecting to change. I'm constantly trying to prove to myself that I can do it and the more I do the more it eludes me because when trying to prove something I'm basically saying that I have something to prove.

Allowing is what I guess I need to focus on beginning with allowing the possibility that it might be a bust and it might not work out , just like the possibility exists that this might be the biggest plot twist in the history of romcom plot twists and I should sell the rights to Hollywood. It also means allowing and accepting that I can't make it happen, I don't have that control nor ability -

My biggest take away from what you said cherished is that this is a full on spiritual thing and brain synapses have nothing to do with it.  Neville says ignore your senses and deny the reality and you will succeed. Neville was a little crazy, enough to believe that out of nothing you can change circumstances with your mind. I'm not sure I'm crazy enough ...

I could be so close despite the circumstances but I could also be waiting for something that might never actually happen because the majority of us unfortunately do not have he superpowers to succeed in the endeavor -

Thank you Sanshi because you definitely speak to my logical mind. Between you and cherished Who speaks to my heart j should be able to have both ends covered

What you say makes absolute sense : the piano is a wonderful example because I do play an instrument myself and nothing can make you master it without hours long of practice. But see that completely depends on me, my instrument doesn't go anywhere or do anything without my actioning it.

This vibration thing is so abstract Its a bit trickier because tangibly I'm dealing with things I can't touch, see or put away - i do know when I feel good it's technically a good thing and good things happen but I also know when I don't feel good I get weary of the monsters of the shadows in the back of my mind that can come out in my reality.

You're right my story has been pretty consistent and is a perfect reflection of what is. My ego wants to go in battle and tell him to go to hell because everybody's the devil and I hate life. and there's the fear : what if I get the guy and I'm utterly miserable ? Well then **** all this for nothing really then I change my mind and find some other object of affection ...

The thought of toying with people like that makes me feel a bit uncomfortable too- I don't know for a fact that manifesting this relationship with result in the happy love story I have in mind... Everyone knows getting the thing is not what makes us happy per se ... We're here working to influence our circumstances into form without real guarantee that it'll make us happy though it will be gratifying.

My concern here is a bit of an ethical thing I can deal with aligning with someone ( interestingly he's been super active on my social media and communicative again which is sooooo confusing ) , but now we're talking about messing with people's relationships because he's not a single man anymore ...

Isn't that also some form of ego ? If they're super happy isn't it unfair for me to throw a tantrum because I wanted him first ?

The ethical part is really a mute point. Because you do it by default. Every day of your life you are either intentionally or unintentionally attracting. And SURELY you aren't going to say that if its deliberate, then you should just back off and watch everyone else play happy families while you let your own desires float away.. ? If you have the opportunity to deliberately attract what you desire, don't you love yourself enough to believe you are completely worthy of that desire? It's not about coercing some innocent bystander into your lair, it's about raising your vibration to that of an incredible relationship.. and allowing the person you desire to feel that unconditional love.