Inloveandsohappytogether wrote:

Sanshi wrote:

I think you need to find the answers to your questions on your own. It's hard to help you with that. But I personally fully believe that nothing can happen to us if it isn't a part of our vibration. Think about when you felt this way before. Don't concentrate too much on the circumstances but on the core feeling of it. In my opinion you have to have feelings like this before, so that it can manifest in your experience now.

That is true, this is obviously old and has been building up.

But sometimes it's so simple : you see people develop beautiful relationships so easily, doesn't that make you wonder? 

Nope, that doesn't make me wonder. I had the most amazing relationship with my ex. I had a list lying next to my bed and nearly every evening I wrote things down I loved about him because I wanted to make him a gift for Valentine's Day. I was completely focused on the good stuff and everything was wonderful for a year. Then we moved in together, I gave him the gift and stopped working on the list. I started to focus more on what went wrong. He changed his underware all 3-4 days. I thought that was disgusting. i had to force him to shower and he did things I didn't like even though I already said that I don't like it. The more I concentrated on what he did wrong the more he did things wrong. And because I bitched about him all the time, the thought "he can't love somebody like me" arised in me. I still believed that he loved me but I became worried about his friends and that he would prefer to spend time with them in place of me - and guess what happened? I got EXACTLY what I focused on, all the time. With this knowledge you can have the most amazing relationship. Istn' that great? <3

You can treat your partner badly and believe that he would never leave you. You can be happy with your partner and think that he is too good for you and will leave you eventually. The problem is that you can't see what people think. They normally don't tell you "My relationship develops nicely but somehow I have this irrational fear that he will leave me eventually. I don't really feel worthy of his love". They know that it is irrational (until it manifests) and so they don't tell anyone. I was with a guy and I couldn't really believe that we were together. It felt like a dream. Guess what happened? He broke up with me. My mother said that she thinks he will come back and I somehow believed her and concentrated on other things - he came back. I feared he would leave again and he did without even telling me the reason.
Don't look at others. You don't know what they are thinking the whole day long and they won't tell you because in many cases they are not even so much aware of their thoughts and fears. Look at your relationships in the past and I would bet you see that your thoughts have always matched with the behaviour of others. Everytime people acted strange towards me I can find the cause of this in my thoughts.

I don't like this cocreation thing. It confuses me like hell and it doesn't make much sense to me. I think only your vibration matters in the universe you are conscious aware of right now, and your guys vibration matters in the universe he is conscious aware of right now.

In my experience it is not always that you have to have exactly that fear but something is part of your vibration that causes it. A while ago, something happend to me that made me really angry. Angry doesn't even express my feelings, I was furious. That's a feeling that's very uncommon for me. I analysed why that event happened to me but I didn't understand it. The event was so special that I never thought something like this could happen. It took me a few days until I understood it. I was very angry at my ex to that time. He came home late, took a shower at 1:00 AM and acted ruthless. I didn't say anything to him because I still wanted him back to that time. Instead I surpressed it and the anger grow and grow. I expected him to be loud every day and became angry before he even came home. I did this for maybe 2 weeks and than the event happened that multiplied my feelings of anger. It was the perfect manifestation of my feelings.

I would meditate over the question if he would be the best for you or not. Only give up if you feel you don't longer want him.

Inloveandsohappytogether wrote:

Sanshi wrote:

In my experience it is not always that you have to have exactly that fear but something is part of your vibration that causes it. A while ago, something happend to me that made me really angry. Angry doesn't even express my feelings, I was furious. That's a feeling that's very uncommon for me. I analysed why that event happened to me but I didn't understand it. The event was so special that I never thought something like this could happen. It took me a few days until I understood it. I was very angry at my ex to that time. He came home late, took a shower at 1:00 AM and acted ruthless. I didn't say anything to him because I still wanted him back to that time. Instead I surpressed it and the anger grow and grow. I expected him to be loud every day and became angry before he even came home. I did this for maybe 2 weeks and than the event happened that multiplied my feelings of anger. It was the perfect manifestation of my feelings.

I would meditate over the question if he would be the best for you or not. Only give up if you feel you don't longer want him.

You're very right Sanshi and thank you for listening to me. It boils down to that exact question - thing is right now I don't know if I don't want him because I don't want him or if I don't want him because I'm giving up believing I can manifest him.

The Universe should have a This Way sign in cases like this -_-
 

You are welcome. =)

The universe has a sign liker this. It's called feeling. How does the thought "I don't want him anymore" make you feel? Sometimes a few days of not thinking about it can bring some clarity as well.

Today I had a beautiful morning, I did my usual gratitude routine and listened to some great Abraham and Bashar stuff about shifting realities  https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=38khp3UkWIw and being expectant but not too eager . I somehow managed to release my need for my guy, and the other one I had been talking to again recently. I also did the 2 glasses experiment you can find on Reddit  https://www.reddit.com/r/DimensionalJumping/comments/3h2yxo/the_act_is_the_fact_part_one_an_exercise/ about deciding that you're in a new reality. So far I had always done it writing a specific name but this time I just specified that I was in a loving committed relationship with the perfect guy for me.

And I have been walking around all day with this sense of love and appreciation inside me, almost moved to tears at some point because I could actually feel this man with me. And as I smile walking about saying thank you, I take notice of little things : the sentence love is in the air in a place I walk by everyday but had never seen before, walking the house and the song ' I've been thinking about you ' playing on the radio had me wondering who was talking to me.

And then I went on the secret website just because and read this :

I had been single for over a year, the longest dry spell in a decade. However, it was at this time that I did the deepest soul-searching, reading spirituality books and stumbled across The Secret.

The light bulb moment happened when I realised I had been focusing too much on what I didn’t want. For so long, I had been blaming and “working through” childhood abuse issues, as I had been told to do by well-meaning counsellors. After reading The Secret I realised why I was attracting the same kind of relationships, as I was focusing on the “don’t wants” and essentially the past, and not enough on me.

So I began to focus on what I did want in a partner; Everything from his personality and values, to the dark hair and blue eyes he would have. I was even drawn to read romance novels for the first time in my life, which put me in a romantic state. I even started to sleep on “my” side of the bed, all the while enjoying my own company and living alone, though never lonely. I really think this was the trick, to just love and feel whole myself, while being expectant and eager of “The One” to be magnetized into my life.

Long story short, I met “The One” within 2 months, got engaged within 3 months after our first date and married within 2 years. He is everything I had dreamt of and more, down to the brown hair and blue eyes. We discovered our lives before we met were so serendipitous, everything from my aunt having met him 23 years prior, to him and I dating people with our respective names that we had both met on separate Contiki tours, to him and I starting to work for the same company within weeks of each other 3 years prior, though we never crossed paths until 3 years after. I guess such “coincidences” are another way the Universe surprises and delights you in ways you least expect!

Thank you Rhonda for making The Secret so accessible! I truly discovered how and why to love myself and life, and that life can be magic if we go about it more consciously. To top it off, I am just so blessed to have a Valentine to share it with every single day.

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I know it's not a specific man story but I think it applies because this man was already in her reality but could only appear tangibly when she stopped trying to fix herself and focus on 'the problem' . That hit home in so many ways for me : in constantly trying to fix childhood traumas, releasing resistance, improving myself I was only finding more issues because energy flows where attention goes.

Major breakthrough for me today, letting go of the angst and the resistance is so liberating because if in the end I win regardless of the way there: I'm still happy. And that's all that matters.

Just wanted to share, gratitude does work wonders but most of all my fear was based on focusing on what could go wrong and how unhappy it would make me feel. I realize that regardless what happens I can actually be happy, As a  matter of fact I am happy right now.