So I am not completely feeling like a lost cause or anything, however our full steam ahead efforts came to an uncomfortable hult once he was served child support papers again (second time this year) from his ex-wife.

I know he needs a friend right now and thats what im attempting to be, but my urge to move forward is the only thing i can think to manifest. But the resistance comes in because of her and the way their relationship affects EVERYTHING else in his life.

Now he has not stopped calling, he still is full of compliments, we still text everyday, and there is still an I love you somewhere in there before I go to bed. But there isn't, i want to see you's, let's hang out or even let me touch your butt's because he is so wound up behind this.

The old me would have been totally selfish to the idea it has NOTHING to do with me or our kid, get over it and give me/us back our attention....BUT this time around, I am not doing that. But the more supportive I am, the more he speaks as if his life is over, she ocntrols it and he wants to run away, leaving everything INCLUDING me and our kid behind. I know its talk BUT he also is preventing him from trusting being together is worth it. He still feels as though her actions and his forced reality will hender any decision he makes including being with me because he wants to do something for himself... So i pull back and told him to focus solely on self and get it together the way he feels it makes sense...it literally broke my heart, but I have faith somewhere in there he is coming home and will realixze I AM HOME.

It has been 4 months since I have go to sleep with him and woke up  beside him. We have fooling around, had a few kissy momennts, but the intamacy of just melting into him and him hoovering over me like a shell i am in complete need for, it is healing power guys and i can think of nothing else...im not really off alignment just a bit down that im putting him first to put his life in perspective, but all i want at the moment is that man in bed with me..ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, i truly needed to vent here, so thanks for being an ear, any advice wilcomed!