Offline
She doesn't have any feelings for me anymore, and only sees me as a friend. She's stated that she has absolutely no romantic feelings for me, and can't see herself with me, and doesn't want to be with me in a relationship. The feelings are lost. She also says when spending time with me, it's like babysitting a 5-year-old (which honestly I don't see)
She's been very clear...
But should I continue to have faith that she'll come back despite this? This doesn't justย seemhopeless, it logically IS hopeless.ย
But using the LoA, can this become UN-hopeless? Does the LoA give me a chance to bring her back?
Do I still have a chance despiteย realisticallyย having "under" no chance?ย
Thanks.
Offline
You are the one attracting, so why is it that you still doubt it? I mean it's your doubt that is interfering. You should focus on yourself mainly. It's not about getting her back, it's about getting yourself back. I have been through it all, and now everything is joyous and blissful. Do not think if I do this will this bring her back? That is you making her more important than yourself.
Stop thinking in terms of bringing her back, think in terms of you being happy. You need to be the important one. Hopeless you say? I have been there, it was not pretty. I had to let go for it to no longer be. When I look back at all the painful memories they are blurry. Why? It is because I am not the person I was before. It has nothing to do with my present time.
When I began to invest in myself all became clear. I began to love myself and I finally understood myself. I know where my interests lie, how I like my appearance done and I am my greatest friend. All the neediness vanished and I know all is well. It doesn't matter how hopeless the situation is because mine went from spicy and sour to sweet and savory with a snap of a finger. As if the past no longer matters because it really doesn't matter. All that matters is your well being and how you feel.
Offline
And you're really, really sure about this?
She keeps telling me to move on, and that we'll never be together.
But just the THOUGHT of her being with someone else, or having sex with another guy, let alone just talking flirty-like with another guy makes me feel like I'm about to throw up.
I'm reading Lanie's book.
Do you have any other suggestions? :/
Offline
When my guy and I first break up, I took a good hard look at myself. Obviously we cannot change the other person, but we can change ourselves and attract the version of that person that is attracted to us. There was something that attracted us together in the beginning. For me, for example, I remember that my guy had said I wasn't the same anymore, but I blamed him, and his flirtatious friends. When in reality, I couldn't change how they were acting, I knew he was being faithful, but the whole reason why I didn't like those girls is because I didn't love myself enough to think I could keep a man who loved me. And he truly did. I still believe he still does and I haven't given up, even though the outside circumstances reflect a different situation. When I was able to pinpoint how I contributed to the downfall of the relationship (Not CAUSED it...because you're not blaming yourself, but you know how the saying goes, it takes 2 to tango.) I wrote down little promises for myself in a notebook and how those things would be different. So for example, one thing I knew had to change was the way I reacted to certain things. So instead of instant reactions I wrote something like "I promise to approach you calmly about something that makes me feel uncomfortable, and ask what it means instead of accusing first." I made a whole list of those things. Then Ever since, I've been working to change them. But it all stemmed from the fact that for as long as I can remember, I've hated myself and never thought I was worthy of anything. So I had to really work hard and change that belief.ย
I think some self reflection, and maybe making a list might help make things a bit clearer. Nothing is impossible. Veronica has a video where she mentions that if other people can manifest this, so can I. That means it can be done.ย
Offline
Obviously I can also relate to the hopelessness, but I think that once I start my new job things will start moving forward! I have way too much time on my hands in between jobs and actually having a job to go to and be on a real daily schedule where you're actually occupied, not occupying yourself, helps the process. At least for me. thoughts are like small children. When I go to work it's like putting them in daycare.
Offline
Seriously a couple of questions cause I really want you to figure this out:
Are you in no contact with her? Because you keep writing you will and than come back with "she says this and that" like stop it. You're acting like a child who was told not to touch the stove and here you are full fist on it. Just no mas man. Stop. Stop stalking her Pinterest her social media just leave her alone.
The only person you should invest your time and effort right now is you. You you you you. She is not in your current reality because you're so focus on her and the negative like of course it's like a negative and a negative doesn't always equal positive. Leave her out of your system for a little bit and get back to you.
Seriously you are on here almost every other day being all "she says this and I don't know if my case is hopeless." Well there you go with story telling so much you will make it true. And what good is it doing you? A fat load of nothing. You're just making yourself crazy and you have such a hand full of people who are helping you and taking time out of their lives to come to you with advice why Are you ignoring it? I don't think you understand clearly what everyone says about current reality. You acknowledge where you are sitting but be strong to be like "and I will succeed" you're the only one who can do that. It's your story.
Or are you here to hear what you want to hear? Cause people told you that you can but are you waiting for someone to say you can't? To give up? Throw in the towel. Because if you got so much support why are you still like asking if it's Hopeless?
You're never going to move forward until you take a strong stance and go 'I can do this' hell even accept yourself and love your moments where you're not on the good sign of vibes and be like "hey I still love you inner self. We have a bump but there's smooth sailing where we're going." Reality will shift when you finally hold stance to good feelings and vibes. Think about your future for yourself. There's only one you..and do you really want to waste another minute going "but she said this and now I feel hopeless." Or do you want to be like "I'm going to go out and work out do some healthy things and eat healthy and feel good." Which one sound better for your inner self?
Seriously I think you should really think about your well being without her (for now until you get strong on your own two feet) stop stalking, and I mean it. You're constantly looking at her pins writing about this or that. Stop it. Stop asking her about her feelings and just focus on you.
Offline
Thanks so much guys!
And lemon, thanks for the tough love. Lord knows I really need it!ย
I think the next step, while working on myself, is to ty and convince my subconscious that she's only saying these things because she's hurting from the things I've done to betray her trust/hurt her.
Any way I can kind of put that into my mind to make myself believe it? Thanks again!
Offline
RollingRock33 wrote:
Thanks so much guys!
And lemon, thanks for the tough love. Lord knows I really need it!ย
I think the next step, while working on myself, is to ty and convince my subconscious that she's only saying these things because she's hurting from the things I've done to betray her trust/hurt her.
Any way I can kind of put that into my mind to make myself believe it? Thanks again!
First off your welcome cause I know you can do it kiddo. Just need to chillax and understand your vibes man. It may sound like hippie dippie but I mean it it's only things that matter are your vibes and alignment. Accept you hit this point and can only go up slowly. Right now don't even worry about her. The more you drop the old story the more it will disappear like sand. And I don't mean the good I mean the bad will disappear. But focus on you bro. You got to get your own baby vibes up. Think of yourself and your thoughts as seeds in your garden we call inner source. Which ones will you look after and nourish and which ones will you prune? Cause right now you're pruning any good plants and nourishing the weeds. Switch it around. Be the good farmer.
Take a guy night and do things that make your inner source happy (without her or going down that route) think of me like a tough love older sister and know I will knock u upside the head of you go down that route.
Offline
Sam is right.
Offline
Sam wrote:
RollingRock33 wrote:
I think the next step, while working on myself, is to ty and convince my subconscious that she's only saying these things because she's hurting from the things I've done to betray her trust/hurt her.
No. The next step is to work on yourself. Period.
You cannot and will not be able to convince your subconscious of anything if you're still consistently unhappy. Seriously listen to me here- you are LITERALLY UNABLE to change your beliefs from a lower vibe. So you NEED to stop trying right now. Continuing to try and change your feelings on this subject will only make you feel WORSE because you're reaching for beliefs that are UNREACHABLE from your current vibe. That's why it feels so bad.
You need to learn how to raise your vibration and keep it there more STEADILY. The universe responds to your DOMINANT vibe, which is why consistency is so important. You will notice that when you start TRULY feeling better in general, it will naturally be easier to believe that things with her can change.
BASICALLY:
Focusing on her right now is HURTING you. It is what's KEEPING HER AWAY.
Focusing on YOU and raising your vibration is what will BRING HER BACK.
You cannot and will not be able to convince your subconscious of anything if you're still consistently unhappy. Seriously listen to me here- you are LITERALLY UNABLE to change your beliefs from a lower vibe. So you NEED to stop trying right now. Continuing to try and change your feelings on this subject will only make you feel WORSE because you're reaching for beliefs that are UNREACHABLE from your current vibe. That's why it feels so bad.
^^ This makes so much sense to me, so thank you for sharing that! I mean, it's true. I was having a moment a little bit ago, and in my self talk I was telling myself to change my beliefs about the person because I got stuck in a little bubble of "he hasn't texted me yet, how can he text me one day but then be perfectly ok with me out of his life the next day" but trying to convince myself when I'm in that place mentally just doesn't work. But what does work is doing something else that makes me happy! Then I start to believe the more positive things and tell myself "You got this. You already won. There's no competition, he chose you." etc etc etc.ย
I thought I was missing something or doing something wrong! But I've seen a lot of videos and stuff these past few days that it's easier to go from negative thoughts to NO thoughts, and then to positive. So it's like you have to erase the board before you can restart! Clearly I'm supposed to have this drilled into my brain.ย