I was always scared of relationships and didn't know why. Like you, I still am at 23 lol. I was the kind of guy who would flirt with a girl I really liked, go out with her casually or hang out with her and other friends....but when things started getting serious....I get cold lol. Funny enough, the girls I was dancing this dance with were also similar, as if they were reflecting me. Maybe there is some truth to the "relationships are a mirror of your relationship to yourself" idea.

I think there were three things that scared me:

1. Fear of Vulnerability and Rejection - There's always the risk that you might love someone more than they love you and I didn't want anyone to have that much power over me.

2. Fear of Heartbreak - Even if a relationship starts out well, I was scared that the honeymoon phase would end and eventually the breakup and arguments would cause me emotional pain. It's not uncommon to get very depressed after a breakup and after going through depression in my teens, I don't want to go through that again.

3. Fear of Loss Of Freedom - Not as powerful as the other fears but still there. When my friends got into relationships, it started out nicely and ended badly when they would argue a lot about how one side is bossy and doesn't respect the needs or freedom of the other. So I was scared of the "If you don't do what I want I'll break your heart" attitude I often saw around me.

Looking at these fears, I noticed two things:

A) Being single or staying casual was my defense mechanism to protect myself from these fears. It was like I was subconsciously blocking myself from a fulfilling relationship even though consciously I desired one.

B) The fears gain their power by my own observation and focus of the "stories" around me. Whenever I saw a couple breaking up, my mind just used that as evidence not to get into a relationship. Of course, this is nuts because there are many couples out there with wonderful, happy relationships. Fears are irrational but powerful when you feed them negative stories.

Lately, I've been focusing on just being happier in general, living in optimism and passion is my overall aim. As I took steps to live this way, I noticed that I don't feel as scared of relationships as I used to be and it's so much easier to feel love. After a year of putting aside relationship stuff, it's as if I have all this inspiration to believe again. So there are some things that might help you:

1. I think the Sedona Method might be really helpful: https://www.reddit.com/r/lawofattraction/comments/4cki5e/i_cant_do_this/d1jf8m9

2. Just feel good. Think any thought that feels good. Focus on anything that feels better. Do actions not to force things but to feel good in body, mind, and spirit. You'll find that after feeling good for a while, even if you're completely focused on something not related to love, your thoughts will shift from a place of fear to a place of feeling good on love. And then over time you'll believe in the kind of love that is fearless.

3. Try Focus Blocks when you feel doubtful. First, describe how you feel. Second, now that you know how you don't want to feel, it's easy to know how you do want to feel instead, so write down how you would like to feel about love and relationships. Third, think any thought on love that feels better now. Meditate on it and a new better-feeling thought will arrive. Keep going until you feel better or good about the subject, and repeat over time to form a new thinking pattern. Be as general or as specific with your thoughts as you like so long as you feel good. Now, choose the best feeling thought from your block and that can be a good affirmation. For more, see: http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/5901/manifesting-experiment-2-the-focus-blocks-method-manifest-what-you-want-by-deliberately-feeling-better-about-it

4. Change the story about relationships. Stop focusing on what can go wrong and choose instead to feel good about what can go right. Notice more of the happy relationships out there to remind yourself that they do exist.

Overall, I think it's all about feeling good. Stop giving a crap about the crap that makes you feel like crap and do anything to feel good. As you feel better, your thoughts will change and will reflect your new positive energy and it will be easier to create a better-feeling story about love or create new beliefs for yourself.
 

Last edited by Colonel Roosevelt (6/06/2016 2:39 am)

Hey even I had vulnerable feelings about relationship with my love.  I would have fear of freedom from both of our parents,  time for each other  as we both are in complete different fields of career,  insecurity and various other obstacles which makes me feel uncomfortable. 
I just dreamt yesterday in my sleep that my manifestation came true.  I was in tears and thanking thousand times to the universe.  He kissing me so passionately and we spending loads of time together roaming to various places.  It felt truly real.  I narrating my fairytale story with my friends and finding every part of life complete and perfect. 
Then I got up.  I was in great vibe until I started making my breakfast and all the above obstacles came in my mind and turned Me a bit worried and doubtful. Even time was passing by so fast making my belief waver.  Please align me.

Is it possible that universe deliver me the most beautiful and safest relationship without any fear of anything about the world??? . Also me being independent and carefree.

Last edited by Scarlet Angel (6/09/2016 12:28 am)

I really hope everything goes very well and safe after we both reconcile. I just get such worries in my mind sometimes.

Thank you so much guys..  I will definitely not let them linger anymore in my mind.  I will definitely be back to positive feeling and not let those doubts spawn anything in my life. 🙌

Last edited by Scarlet Angel (6/12/2016 9:57 am)