I've seen some of my friends have very sweet, long-lasting, and very passionate relationships. I've also seen other friends have sometimes sweet but mostly intense and tumultuous relationships. I notice among my friends that those with really solid relationships acted on a "sense of knowing" that the other person would be good for them and those who had bad relationships kept jumping into them because they were very lonely and hated being single.

Is there always someone better out there? I think it depends on what you believe. If you believe that a specific person - and only that person - is right for you, then your circumstances will match it. Perhaps no one else will have as much chemistry with you, or maybe when he treats you bad you'll always find an excuse for it. It doesn't necessarily have to be fact, but when we believe in something strongly, it can be hard to open up to other ideas, like the idea that someone else can be better for us. When I was 18 I hated that idea but now it makes me feel so free. This is kind of why I'm sometimes wary of visualizing love with a specific person - it can get you attached and see things through rose colored glasses such that you may not be open to your "highest good." 

I feel the same way you do sometimes. Sometimes I think about the specific girl I wanted to attract and I appreciate so many things about her, especially the good times we had, but I remember that I wasn't satisfied with her. I remember that I met other girls and they showed me more of what I really want in my life. So on one hand, I wanted this girl because I'm very attracted to her and we had some good times (and also because I was scared I would never have the same chemistry with anyone else). On the other hand I know I want more than what I've experienced with her (more harmony). So the way I figure it, I want to attract someone who's a great match for me. Who knows? Maybe one day it can be that specific girl, maybe we'll both change over time and electricity will spark again, but if it's not her I'm not gonna sweat it because I could have an even greater experience with someone else. It was a difficult concept to accept but when I learned that what we're really after is the feeling of the experience and specifics are just icing on the cake, I became much more open to possibilities.

I also notice that my desires change when my mood changes. When I slip back into depressive thoughts, there's always that inkling of "What if?" and a desire to repeat the past, to have the good times I had before to take away the loneliness and dread of now. But when I feel very positive, most of the time that specific girl is not on my mind, and if she is then I'm probably remembering something I appreciated about her that could also pop up in other girls. (Actually, she admitted she sometimes thinks about me a lot so who knows, maybe I'm receiving those thoughts telepathically?) So when we feel conflicted about something, I think it's important to relax our mind and do what makes us feel more positive overall, then the answers flow more clearly.

Did you have the best or is there better? This question reminds me of when I was depressed and suicidal once as a teenager, I thought the best moments in my life were done and there was nothing for me ahead. Boy was I wrong. I couldn't imagine all the wonderful things that happened to me once I accepted myself and slowly developed more positive energy to heal the depression. So many wonderful things happened, things I never imagined or visualized or had faith in, and it all came in as I chose acceptance and focused on doing what made me feel positive overall. So the way I see it, it's important to believe that the best is yet to come. It's so easy to think you've had the best, until you've had better.

By the way, have you ever seen Flipped? I think you might like it.

Colonel Roosevelt wrote:

I've seen some of my friends have very sweet, long-lasting, and very passionate relationships. I've also seen other friends have sometimes sweet but mostly intense and tumultuous relationships. I notice among my friends that those with really solid relationships acted on a "sense of knowing" that the other person would be good for them and those who had bad relationships kept jumping into them because they were very lonely and hated being single.

Is there always someone better out there? I think it depends on what you believe. If you believe that a specific person - and only that person - is right for you, then your circumstances will match it. Perhaps no one else will have as much chemistry with you, or maybe when he treats you bad you'll always find an excuse for it. It doesn't necessarily have to be fact, but when we believe in something strongly, it can be hard to open up to other ideas, like the idea that someone else can be better for us. When I was 18 I hated that idea but now it makes me feel so free. This is kind of why I'm sometimes wary of visualizing love with a specific person - it can get you attached and see things through rose colored glasses such that you may not be open to your "highest good." 

I feel the same way you do sometimes. Sometimes I think about the specific girl I wanted to attract and I appreciate so many things about her, especially the good times we had, but I remember that I wasn't satisfied with her. I remember that I met other girls and they showed me more of what I really want in my life. So on one hand, I wanted this girl because I'm very attracted to her and we had some good times (and also because I was scared I would never have the same chemistry with anyone else). On the other hand I know I want more than what I've experienced with her (more harmony). So the way I figure it, I want to attract someone who's a great match for me. Who knows? Maybe one day it can be that specific girl, maybe we'll both change over time and electricity will spark again, but if it's not her I'm not gonna sweat it because I could have an even greater experience with someone else. It was a difficult concept to accept but when I learned that what we're really after is the feeling of the experience and specifics are just icing on the cake, I became much more open to possibilities.

I also notice that my desires change when my mood changes. When I slip back into depressive thoughts, there's always that inkling of "What if?" and a desire to repeat the past, to have the good times I had before to take away the loneliness and dread of now. But when I feel very positive, most of the time that specific girl is not on my mind, and if she is then I'm probably remembering something I appreciated about her that could also pop up in other girls. (Actually, she admitted she sometimes thinks about me a lot so who knows, maybe I'm receiving those thoughts telepathically?) So when we feel conflicted about something, I think it's important to relax our mind and do what makes us feel more positive overall, then the answers flow more clearly.

Did you have the best or is there better? This question reminds me of when I was depressed and suicidal once as a teenager, I thought the best moments in my life were done and there was nothing for me ahead. Boy was I wrong. I couldn't imagine all the wonderful things that happened to me once I accepted myself and slowly developed more positive energy to heal the depression. So many wonderful things happened, things I never imagined or visualized or had faith in, and it all came in as I chose acceptance and focused on doing what made me feel positive overall. So the way I see it, it's important to believe that the best is yet to come. It's so easy to think you've had the best, until you've had better.

By the way, have you ever seen Flipped? I think you might like it.

Thanks for your insights ! :D Exactly how I'm feeling right now haha. We're in the same boat! I wonder if that's why we haven't got our people back yet, because we ourselves are unsure of them .... 

My person was an amazing boyfriend at times, when he wanted to be, he would know my little quirks too and wrote me letters and was caring when I was sick, but that wouldn't last, one week he could be lovely, the next he would cancel on me for his friends suddenly or we'd have a fight about something trivial-it was never very stable...so I guess I have a lot to think about and I'm glad at least now I'm seeing things a bit more clearly, like it's important for me to want the best for myself and I guess as time has passed and I'm meeting new people and learning about love, I wonder if maybe someone else can give me what he gave me in our good times but didn't get cold or distant or mean in bad times....and I don't want to have him come back and go through it like that again, I would only want him to come back as a mature and enlightened person which means I suppose that I want him to change and that means that I can't attract him specifically the way he is right now.......

I think I had a breakthrough haha. I want him without some of his traits....which means technically, I can't really have him because he is a full package of bad and good traits so if I don't accept his flaws, I won't attract him back ....

I listened to an Abraham video where she said something like 'the moment where you have to change something about someone in order to love them is when you are not in conditional love' . I definitely would not want to change people, and I know that everyone has their comfort zone in how they want to be loved and I think I require a bit more than my person wants to give at this time in his life, which is understandable. Like we loved each other, we still do, but that part was always missing, love to him was having a lot of freedom and he would have been happy seeing me once a week while I wanted more attachment, I was happy seeing him 3 times or more a week, he wanted to go travelling and to festivals alone but I wanted a relationship where we would do those things together more. I think there is a strong possibility we're soul mates but he's not up to speed vibrationally yet and I am, I'm more awakened spiritually and he's still finding himself I think. I know he'll come back and when he comes back, it'll be forever, but he won't come back until he's ready for that and if I rush it with him, I will have stunted his own self growth and he will end up resenting me subconsciously for it , it doesn't have to be right now, it just needs to be when we're really ready. If he doesn't come back, it just means he never got to my frequency, the place where he can be in love with me and love me the way I want to be loved and where I can love him the way he wants to be loved. I've got him back so many times through determination and just making it happen, not giving up, and he did the same with me, he got me back a few times, but it would crash and burn so often. I read it's probably because we're twin flames, unable to stay away from each other but we met at the wrong time so we were unable to be together. At least I know that we'll never lose our connection, he'll never forget me, we were so big in that way, he'll remember me throughout his life.