I think what was my immediate thought was.."oh wow did I open up for nothing." Or "OK we are back to playing me."  And then "So, were you just having a moment because your new friend was ignoring you?"

What ever that small amount of resistance was it was short lived because i recieved that call from the Texas recruiter and it changed my out look quickly!!

So then when I got to his moms and he walked in the door, i recognized the look of worry on HIS face thats why he came to me and sat on my lap super clingy. I noticed he watched me the entire time, but i must admit I was a bit tight because everyday ALL day we had been back to our little playfully in love selves.

Today I am a bit better. I recognize that it is a rebirth sort of speak and that theres so much to consider with the move in tow...but i am still super focused on allowing the universe to respond to my wishes without ddoing too much thinking and too much micro managing.

It was important you mentioned that because THAT is truly my yucky trait, lol!

But ever since I read the pedastal statement I knew that is EXACTLY why i was bothered...That is what im used to, keeping my head high and looking forward and for the first time in my life I felt what looing down and back felt like and i am NOT returning to sad, pitful land, no no no!

That's pretty great advice! Thank you for that.

He is stubborn and when he was most in love he had no issues apologizing. Now I am not completely sure what he will do. But thank you for reminding of what i SHOULD do.

You are 115% correct about us being similar. The DEBATE IS EVERYTHING. There was no better feeling then to look at his face cowar in realizing he was wrong. However, i have learned that he held on to that, hence him saying don;t repremand him. So i know there are some scars there created I must acknowledge for him.

Also he made an off guarded comment about me leaving, almost like he was upset about it. I didnt allow him to ellaborate because i just wanted to end the conversation, but it sounded like THAT was the reality of what was bothering him.

But I will let him come back to me. I haven't gotten off alignment jusssssssssssst yet, but I have totally got tripped up because he was genuienly mad at me and responded as if I were annoying him.

I must see him this evening when I get our daughter. He told me he wanted to finish the conversation later since he was working...Any other time he stays on the phone with me all day if he can.

I love him, but there are times I really don't like him,lol!

Pointing the blame finger when he is at fault is something i have been consistently working on in myself to accept. So your comparrision to the mirror was excellent. Because he did exactly what i was thinking he would do.

Ok back to my solid grounded throne! No need to allow him to think im bothered. I am totally worth running away with. Forgiving..Loving me...And seeing me any chance you get....I even miss the fear or rather respect to just want to make IT right versus BE right...and that is where I am in my mind.

You're probably on to something. I was annoyed I wasn't replied too and once I heard his reason that he felt I wanted more I did snap because I truly can't stand bring blamed when I am of no fault. Initially I told him on I understood and that's when I heard something he had never done...tried to reexplain what he meant. But the more he did the worse it git the worse I felt because he wasn't talking about now but the past.


I'm do trying to refocus. My eyes are tired from studying, a crying 2 year old and missing having help and the fact my buddy my lover who I'm not giving with, I can't talk to because though I'm like 70% there I'm not 100% there yet ...yet lol, to realign as quick. Lar09 called it.. it's a joy in the awkward need to be right. But you're correct. I know where I went wrong...I should have left the conversation and let him consider his own vibe since all has been perfect.


I haven't gotten there just yet but I want to mirror him back as my protector and lover and provider.


I was reading someone else's post who hit her love back and her point was being or rather acknowledgement to the feeling you think you'll want from them. Honestly the more I do...the more I cry and not bad tears at all. It's all overwhelming love.

So many memories are crashing, songs he has played fit me, trips we have taken, times he paint my toes or called me in the middle of the night because he couldn't sleep, the one that gets me chojed up the most is going puppy shopping to prove he was ready to start a family.


I mean I'm in mega tears because that's what love is to me...the simple, adorable things that create butterflies. He has a gigantic smile and big teeth and his shy look of patient approval was just precious.

So to have all that turn into I love you but....ouch😭!

I won't virtually hit you...your honesty is most helpful. I just know it's a journey and I slipped!

Lar pedestal point is helpful and your reminding me of my ability to orchestrate both positive and negative is what I need. And cotton being just straight up a LOA THUG😃 will make it easier to get through the night.

I will try and refocus...any ideas because my eyes are burning from my visualisations tonight.

Yesterday they were so rwsl...him and his kid visited me in Texas...no I'm not there yet but my visualisation was he called just to chat and as we were talking he knocked on my door. I told him hang on and my kid runs to the window and yells Daaaaaaaaddddyyyy. I give her my phone to talk to him and grab the door. When I open it...he us there..big smile, big and, baseball cap and matching shirt and his other kid matching rushing in the door in tears because she misses me.

He drops his bags, picks me up, grabs our daughter and I just flat out funeral cry in his chest and he says it's OK daddy is here.


And NOW my visualisation is even more overwhelming because I am getting better at it. And we had our Tiff.

Well ladies I'm headed to bathe my little beast, say prayers and meditate before laying down...no homework tonight I'm mentally sore.

But you DID put me in check..thought it's His fault he sucks butt and is just as combative... you're 100% I CONTROL THE OUTCOME! And I didn't do the best job. But since I got you guys and a flying dics, a pedestal, dome knowledge and loads of confidence.. I think it'll be alright by Saturday...lol

Cherished wrote:

You'll be totally fine. But stop rehashing what WAS. It takes time for physical to change, so expect that he's the fabulous man you desire! VIBRATE THAT TO HIM. And he will rise to become it.

BUT, doubling back and rehashing pointless arguments (and I promise you they are pointless- no matter the topic), only brings forth more of that into your reality. YOU are the creator. Fix your story honey. 😘

OK so my visualisations of the past things I liked and things I want are so passionately adoring..and I think time is what trips mist of us up...

Right?

I'm up ready for work and noticed we didn't speak. Now I know I'm the creator BUT I need a hand on flipping thus one since it's our first Tiff on a great 3 week stretch of countless texts and calls..

Any videos or advice to QUICKLY realign?

https://youtu.be/HwT8P2WOPWc