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Dear all,
I am new here.
I read so many articles and forums about getting ex boyfriend back applying loa, sometimes I feel I can have a second chance, but sometimes I feel I can´t.
So I really need your advice and your help.
Thank you!
I won´t write everything in details, just important things. If you have some questions, feel free to ask
So, Ivan and I were a couple for a year and a half, before that we were friends. It was(is) LDR, we live in the same country (Europe) but in different cities driving distance 4-5 hours.
Before him, I had some bad relationships, dated so many crazy guys.. and finally I met him, so kind, so good, so handsome, so smart... I had some bad experiences from my past so I hardly believed that someone so nice and different from others, like him, can be with me. I thought that I didn´t deserve him, that there are so many prettier and better girls than me. Anyway, he is not very good in talking about his emotions, but when we were together he showed those to me, he was so carrying and sweet. Anyway, I was in constant fear of losing him. I asked myself daily what if he gives up on me, what if he will stop trying, what if he meets someone else better than me... so many questions in my head. By the time, I changed my behaviour, I was not his happy and confident girl anymore, I was in panic and scared. I started to be jelaous, always available, needy, clingy... I pushed him away. He told me that he will tell me by himself about his emotions towards me without pressure, but I was so impatient and put a big pressure on him. I did opposite of everything he told me to do (when he tried to fix our relationship).
He started to avoid my questions when and how we can see each other. He was no longer open with me, he stopped telling me what was going on in his life, so I pushed and I pushed and I pushed.... I made a situation even worse. So, we broke up in November 2015, after that we stopped every communation. In last days of our relationship, we were fighting so much, I provoced him many times, and he told me then few times that he was never in love with me, that he was trying to fall in love but failed so he won´t give me any false hope anymore.
When we had our last phone call (when we were breaking up) he repeated that he was never in love with me and that we are only good friends. I cried, I begged, I didn´t believe him.... nothing. He was so mad, he told me that he would rather break his phone then to listen me anymore. I provoced him so much.
I lost my confidence and self respect. I was feeling like a ****. And I showed him that and I behaved like I was a needy doormate, just to keep him, I couldn´t calm my mind, my focus was on him, I cried every night and was so sad those last month-two of our relationship. I was so lost and lonely.
Also, he is very social guy, he has soooo maaaany friends, he goes out all the time, and I found this as an obstacle too- that he would (he actually was spending) spend his time with them more than with me, that they are more important to him than me, I felt like I have nothing to show him like them, like I am not funny, smart, enough, I compared myself with them. Last couple of months of our relationship he lost his job, so I was scared that he would rather spend his free time with them then with me, so actually it was like that.
All this months I prayed to God, I got nothing-no phone call, no message, big nothing.
So, we last saw each other in September 2015, we are in no contact for 5-6 months, it is LDR...
So many obstacles... is there any hope?
My questions are:
1. I am Christian. Can loa goes along with my faith?
2. I saw on one internet site (also about loa) that if there is no communication at all, there is nothing you can do to bring him/her back. So, I am a little worried about that. Is this true? Your experinece about zero communication?
3. What about destiny and God´s will? My parents always tell me that if is something meant to be, it will be and it will come so easy, and also that maybe I can wish for something but I will get that if it is God´s will. I have some examples about praying and hoping for something and nothing.
In this situation, since I prayed so hard these months and got nothing, does it mean that Ivan and I have no chance at all?
4. Everyone say that if there was love, it will be love again. I am scared about that. He told me that he was never in love with me. How can I get him back if there was no love from his side? Something has to be, love or some romantic feeling.. What if he said the truth? I am so lost.... I don´t know what to believe in anymore.
5. I made a vision board, it is so sweet, I am so proud, I made it with so many love but I am sooo bad in visualizations, I can´t really feel the image, can´t see it through my eyes, my images are not vivid, and sometimes I don´t feel emotions. I tried to visualize and manifest a cup of coffee and chocolate, I failed. I tried to do some exercises, like imagining climbing upon the ladders and feel the wind, see my hands... nothing. I tried to visualize me coming near the table in the kitchen and grab a lemone and smell it, also nothing.
It is more like a thought about lemon in my mind. My visualization goes like this- ok, so there is a lemon on the table, it is yellow I know that, it is a fact, ok now it is in my hand, that is it. It is more like many thoughts in my mind, then real images. I can picture something in my mind but no longer that 15-20 seconds. I can´t concentrate so long.
So, how can I attract him back if I can not visualize a lemon, or a cup of coffee and taste it and smell it in my mind and finally manifest it?
How to improve this? Should I find some group and conseler or I can improve it by myself?
6. I have never meditate, so I started a month ago, but I can not relax, I am impatient person so I can´t concentrate longer than few minutes, then my hand, hair, leg, starts to itch, or something pops in my mind that has no relation with my main thought.
My third eye is closed, I read that this eye (mind´s eye) should be open to visualize successfully.
Is this true? So, I can´t see and feel a vivid image/scene with my "regular" eyes?
Is this my problem why I can´t visualize?
Also, I read that many people have that third eye closed and that there are some exercise to open it up. Is this true?
7. When I broke up with my first big love, I imagined him being with me and so happy about us, for example when I was driving my car, I imagined him and really felt him sitting next to me and smiling, or when I was lying in my bed I really felt him near me watching me and hugging me. That didn´t bring him back. After our breakup, I haven´t seen him or hear him anymore. So, I am worried that if I couldn´t manifested him back when I was really feeling the feelings and imagined him so real, how can I get Ivan back?
I want him back, I really want a second chance. Now I feel better, I started to go to the gym again, go out with my friends, pampering myself... I often look myself in the mirror and I am aware again that I am worth to have a success, that there is really nothing wrong with me, that I have so many good qualities, that I am really beautiful and attractive girl.
So I raised again my selfconfident and selfrespect.
How to have him back for another chance? I wish that he will tell me that he misses me, that he wants to fell in love with me and be with me more that with his friends, that I am important to him... I want him to hug me so hard and says that he will never let me go again.
Please, any advice about this, any experience and help is welcome!
Thank you all!
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Hello Nives
Yes it is always possible to bring back someone from your past no matter what negativity went on between you. Healing from the break up should definitely be your biggest priority right now, you seem to be starting to do that by going to the gym and out with your friends and you are starting to see your inner beauty and your outer beauty and that is the biggest thing you can do for yourself and your partner. A great relationship is built from two whole people, not two halves or one and a half. To have a good partner in your life, you need to be a good partner. You need to treat your partner how you would want your partner to treat you: trust, support, affection, respect, communication. You need to release your partner of being the one who defines your worth, you were you before you met your partner and you were beautiful and radiant and you attracted him, and you need to keep being that you when you are with your partner because that's who he fell in love with-you! You are beautiful and worthy for ANYBODY in the world, even the most good looking, popular, celebrity out there-you are still good enough for that person. You are most attractive when you are happy, care free, curious and excited by life, relaxed, easy going, caring, compassionate, loving, self confident....a woman is a goddess when she is those things alone. Outer looks mean nothing without those inner traits.
You've done step one which is the asking, So who you call God, some people call Source in the LOA community, so you now need to tell God/Source that you want this to happen, that you are going to trust in God/Source/Universe to deliver it to you and let it go. Let it go with your faith that it will come. So then what happens is when you are relaxed and thinking about other things in your life and focused on other things and having fun and enjoying yourself, you will get inspiration-so like divine inspiration basically. Which will come as a thought and then after that thought another thought and you need to be in what's called the 'receptive' mode where you're relaxed and open to seeing the path that guides you to you desire. The universe of God will also set up events that will go your way, like you might get inspired to go to a certain place and then run into the person you are thinking of. Your vibration also can connect with your specific person through thought, so by having a pleasant thought about them, they can actually sometimes sense it and then think of you. There's lots of information all over the place on it but you're on the right track And I wouldn't worry about him saying he didn't love you, people say all sorts of things during a break up, you really shouldn't worry!
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Thank you very much for your answer.
Everything you wrote gives me hope.
Thank you for reminding me that I am worthy.
Actually I am, and you are, and everybody are. But we forget that too many times.
Well, now I am ok, when I think of something bad between us I am not mad anymore, but I am a little bit concern how to manifest him. Maybe too many obstacles between us, maybe too many months of no contact has passed...
Sometimes I am excited and happy when I think of him, when I am trying to send him heart energy or when I look at my vision board. I tried to visualize but I failed, I couldn´t see clearly his face in my mind. So I decided to visualize when I will feel right to do that, when I will be relaxed and full of happy feelings. But, some days passed, I lately when I am trying to visualize/imagine us together... I feel like I am lazy, I just don´t feel like trying, and sometimes I feel indifferent towards him. Then I remind myself that I really want a second chance, but then I am asking myself where all those emotions gone, why I am not excited all the time, why I often feel like it doesn´t matter if he is really here or not.
What does it mean?
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Honestly, I've had a similar experience about it too...sometimes I'm all about getting back together, other times I kind of don't care or I'm just really cool with being alone or meeting someone new and I like getting excited by new people too. I think it's really a case of time heals all wounds don't you think? If you've been out of contact with him for so long you're bound to have lost attachment to him and possibly some feelings too, and if you are, that's ok I would say? Don't force yourself to want anything! Like if you're getting over him naturally and you're not even aware, go with it, always go with the flow of your emotions. You should try manifesting contact from him and see what happens ^,^
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I lost all bad feelings I had, so this is good, now I have only positive feelings.
But... does it mean that I should give up?
Your reply is confusing me, sorry