So, I'm happy. genuinely happy. I found happiness on my own and i feel healed. Im not hurting, i genuinely go through my life so grateful and it feels so good to have no worries on my mind. Ive even been seeing/hooking up with someone else and it is nice, though he is graduating and moving away in a week, but all is good, overall.

But, it hit me today, and i haven't thought about it in a while, my love, has not come back to me. It doesn't make me sad, it doesn't change my mood to negative, its just neutral and I realize how I'm surprised he hasn't come back. I actually rarely see him and that little piece now that I think about it makes me a little sad. Ive been so happy and focusing on myself, that I forgot about him and he pretty much disappeared from my life. 

Which now thinking about it, I don't like. I want him to be in this happy reality with me. He's leaving in a week or so for 3 months. Im not sure if it feels funny because I've let him go, but i don't really like the thought of him not coming back. I definitely am good on my own, though I still do love him, I just don't think about it really anymore, i think id just be the cherry on top if he was in my happy reality with me. 

Im not really sure how to feel. any thoughts?