Cherished wrote:

You actually just need to ride out the momentum you have going.  When you're in the middle of it all,  it's impossible to fix it by physically Actioning.  By that I mean.. your vibe is now low, so you can't be a match to a suddenly spectacular outcome all at once. Unless you can begin to quickly raise your vibe, and be so steady in your unconditional love that you can completely ignore what he's saying to you. That is difficult to do. The best thing to remember us that this is your fears playing out, simply because you dropped your vibe and began to create by default. You began to fear and react instead of deliberately create. The awesome news is you can go to bed and give it all another shot tomorrow! When you sleep,  your momentum subsides and your slate is basically clean.

Thank you Cherished, you're right, I'm going to try and do that today before I see him or just ride it out. I need to release some anger towards him for this thing with this girl, and accept the fact I manifested it, I was so worried about it.

Hope all is not lost. I'm getting my vibe back up now. Thank you to you and everyone.

Cherished wrote:

Of course all is not lost! You can create whatever you wish! But you cannot force the timing,  and if something has caused you to drop your vibe it's best to sit back quietly when meeting another. Understand that this has already been created through your vibration. At some point back there you were a perfect match to this situation. It's FINE, because you can now begin to create deliberately again, focussing purely on what you DO want. You may have to do a bit of selective hearing 😜 Honestly, EVERYBODY says things in the moment.. Nothing is set in stone. Everything is possible and everything is changeable. When you meet him, try to keep your mouth pretty much closed, and j mean that absolutely with all of my love and support. You kind of have to ride out the storm, let it come and just stand there knowing that tomorrow the sun will shine again. Be calm and just KNOW that "Yup, I did a bit of dodgy creating here.. blah blah blah..  I'm nodding and pretending to agree but what he's saying right now is totally irrelevant EXCEPT it's showing me where my work is. Where my fears lay, and what my resistance is. Thanks for coming, see you again soon back up in perfectville!"

Excellent advice and so a match to what I need right now, I've screenshot it. While he's away I will get my vibe up. But omg I'm gonna have to BITE MY TONGUE OFF this afternoon. I have this urge to let him know how embarrassed and hurt I am, how I feel betrayed and used.

But I did it and I can prove his love for me through MY actions. So I should throw away this hurt angry letter I was just scrawling to him lol.

Xx

Cherished wrote:

Noooooooo he doesn't need to read that 😘
Let's regroup. You weren't exclusive, and even then.. nobody truly owns anyone, do they. If you could clear up your insecurity, you wouldn't be feeling the need to tie him down. That's where unconditional love comes into play. I'm absolutely NOT suggesting that you allow crappy behaviour. Not at all. But in order to CREATE the beautiful relationship you desire, it can't be from a place of lack. You can't get what you want by attempting to lock things down. The way to allow him IN, is to allow him his freedom. In doing that energetically, he will be completely attracted to you. In terms of hurt and betrayal.. You said that you weren't back together, so it's not his wrong-doing. And can you flip that and appreciate his honesty in telling you? Honestly. If you can get through this meeting without doing the needy/controlling thing, your job over the next few weeks while he's away will be a walk in the park. If you want to go the hurt/angry path, it just means more cleaning up for you to do vibrationally afterwards. That's ok too, it's great practice 😊 Trust me. Never in my life have I walked away feeling empowered, strong, beautiful, or aligned after a hurt, furious conversation. But those moments I was able to remain conscious, focused, and disciplined in my thinking? Wow.. Those situations turned around so fast and so spectacularly that I could hardly believe it myself!

You're right. In trying to secure it and lock it down I was putting out such a fearful vibe it attracted this situation. Ok ok I'm throwing the angry letter and the angryness away. I want to tell him to go have a lovely trip, have a think and see what happens. I think it's such a long on off love story with him (7 years) that I regress back to his puppy dog.

It was him running around after me at the start this time so I want that back! I need to cancel once more this human fear we all have that lack of action, lack of contact, letting go means losing grasp of what we want.,

I want him to come running back to me after thinking and missing me! If possible, him telling me he loves me but doesn't want to hurt me, best being friends. In my head I just went 'nope'!

I'm going to try to keep this meeting short, he knows I love him, he knows he's hurt me in a few different ways, I don't need to reiterate it. Parting words? I just want to make sure he goes to think!

Bloody idiot (both me and him tbh)

Thank you so much for your help, I'll be seeing him in a few hours so this is helping me keep my **** together!

Trying Lanie's new meditations right now too, love them so far. ❤️

Xxxxxx

Cherished wrote:

I promise you, if you can keep it short and sweet and not pressure him, he will absolutely walk away thinking "wow, what a woman." There are not many people who are able to behave in this way. Think about it- most people react unconsciously out of fear and insecurity. He will be expecting this from you. Guys are not good at confrontation with women to begin with. So think of it from his perspective. He knows how deeply he has upset you. He thinks you're furious, and that you are throwing around ultimatums like "either choose me now or you'll never see me again!!"

What if....
What if, instead, he walks in to find this balanced, utterly beautiful woman in front of him. She's full of kindness and grace, and she understands that he his perfectly imperfect. As we all are. She sees him as he WISHES he could be. And that inspires him to try harder, to be better. She gently conveys her love for him, while also encouraging him to go and enjoy his time. She doesn't need to discuss her hurt or disappointment. She trusts him.. trusts that he knows how to be a wonderful partner.

Ok. Can you feel the difference? He will walk away with his head spinning and his heart stirring. And while he is away, he will come back and replay the scene over and over, because it made him feel like a good person. It made him feel safe.

If you go the angry route, you will take 10 steps backwards, you'll regret it by tomorrow and he will spend his time away trying to block all thoughts of you.

By all means, put your case forward. But do it courageously, from a state of wisdom and grace. And watch the magic unfold. 😘

Wow....

That's amazing. I see the difference. I've read that like 18 times now I'm gonna do it even if he wants to get into it... It's gonna be my biggest acting gig ever haha.. Going to be kind... Wish him a good trip... And probably shouldn't say go have a think... I just don't want him to think it's ok to go forget me.

BUT you're right and I HEAR you. Flipping it round.

X

Last edited by rosetinted (5/08/2016 10:11 am)