It's funny how we can "fool ourselves" into thinking we're doing one thing, when we're actually doing the opposite! I had an interesting conversation with an acquaintance the other day. He was describing a conflict he recently had with a close friend, and how this friend has been very negative lately and he's having a hard time being around this friend because he's naturally a happy, positive person.

When he said this about himself, I kept wondering how he can possibly see himself as a happy, positive person! Every time I see him, he complains almost constantly. He goes on long tangents about everything his spouse is doing wrong, everything his kids are doing wrong, what's going wrong for him at work, and so on.

Now, he's not a bad person, don't get me wrong. He's a good person and he does have a lot of positive qualities. But I would definitely NOT describe him as a "happy, positive person" most of the time. But that's how he sees himself.

That got me thinking about how easy it is for us to blame our problems and struggles on other people, on the world, on the government, on God, on...whomever and whatever seems convenient at the time.

Once we understand how powerful our thoughts are, we have a responsibility to become as self-aware as possible, so that we can have some control over the quality of our lives. We may not be able to control every little detail of our lives, and we certainly can't control other people, but simply by making sure that we are thinking the most productive thoughts possible, we can have a tremendous impact on our circumstances.

If we complain a lot, we're going to keep attracting more things to complain about. If we focus on a lot of negative thoughts, we're probably going to attract other people who do too! If we consistently guide our thoughts in the direction we WANT to go, we're going to find life a lot easier and a lot more enjoyable.

If you don't yet have a solid level of self-awareness as far as your thoughts are concerned, try these simple steps:

1) Look around.

The best way to determine the overall quality of your thoughts is to look around at your life circumstances. What do you see? Do you see a lot of problems and struggles? Do you see a lot of negative people?

Any circumstances that are unpleasant or dissatisfying in some way are RED FLAGS that your thoughts on those subjects are not as positive as they could be. Little by little, start thinking better thoughts on those subjects. Don't try to overhaul your entire mental state in one day, but take baby steps toward building a more positive, uplifting, optimistic state of mind. Your outer circumstances will begin to show the changes quickly!

2) How do you feel?

Another great clue about your thoughts is the way you feel about various areas of your life. If you feel stressed out, irritated, frustrated, tired, "sick of it," scared, or any other negative feelings, it's a clear sign that your thoughts on that subject haven't been where you'd like them to be. Again, take baby steps! Start thinking a little more positively about those areas of your life. Before long you'll see clearly that your feelings are directly generated by your thoughts! Think negative, feel negative. Think positive, feel positive.

3) Check In.

Several times each day, check in with yourself. Ask: What am I focusing on right now? How do I feel right now? Do I need to make any adjustments? Sometimes you won't, but sometimes you'll realize that you were arguing or complaining about someone in your head; or you'll realize that you were caught up in worried thoughts about something that may not even happen.

When you catch yourself doing those things, make a deliberate effort to shift the direction of your thoughts. Focus on something positive. Intend a positive outcome for whatever situation you were just worrying about. All it takes is a few positive thoughts to override the negative!

Over time, these simple steps can help you become very much self-aware and you'll be able to see very clearly whether your thoughts are aligned with the situations and experiences that you actually WANT to experience in your life.