BooLala wrote:

holistichealing wrote:

The only fear I may develop is that if he did realize his feelings for me he would run away.....

So.....
My missus cut me off 3times and even got engaged to her ex and moved in with him. I always believed we belonged together and stayed off social media and focused on me and my relationship with my girl. And she came back. Relax and focus on your mind!!

I keep getting synchronicities and when we meet up, I am going to feel awkward now. I really need to be disciplined and diligent.

Breath, scream, cry do whatever you need to release the intense emotions you are feeling right now.

Then get back to focusing on your. Remember nothing is external to you. The way you feel in your reaction to a situation that's unwanted. You attach the value and the emotion to it.

This is not a hurdle to getting your guy back. The only hurdle is your thoughts and feelings. Don't focus on this, reframe its relevance to you.

Get back to being happy and positive. You are the controller of your emotions.

Cherished wrote:

Oasiscalm wrote:

Breath, scream, cry do whatever you need to release the intense emotions you are feeling right now.

Then get back to focusing on your. Remember nothing is external to you. The way you feel in your reaction to a situation that's unwanted. You attach the value and the emotion to it.

This is not a hurdle to getting your guy back. The only hurdle is your thoughts and feelings. Don't focus on this, reframe its relevance to you.

Get back to being happy and positive. You are the controller of your emotions.

 
This. Truly, the only hurdle is between you and you. You have to clean up your vibration and become very clear about the thoughts you are putting out.

So you are saying the gf is irrelevant and she is no obstical. My only real obstical is myself, I am the one getting in the way of having that relationship? Also, the relationship he is in based on a past fear of him dating someone else, I can clarify that. But you are right, I need to clean myself up. But I still don't know what to do when I meet up with him to talk. He wants to speak with me in person.

ShootingStar wrote:

To be honest, if you listen to Abraham on this topic, we can't actually control how other people are vibrating, we can only control how we feel or don't feel about what they do. They actually can't bother us if we choose to see them from inside our vortex (our joy, alignment) and we can say 'I love this person, this person is only doing what they think is better for them' and not to allow that person to negatively effect us and how we see each other. I was in that place where I had all sorts of bad dark thoughts following my break up and felt totally worthless and unlovable and then got angry and very vindictive and all those vibrations were harmful mostly to me. It effect how my friends saw me and my family and it effected how I saw myself. You actually cannot give anyone control over how you feel about yourself. If you feel yourself getting so totally down about someone to the point where you do start thinking depression and suicide (which happens, it's not unusual) there's a very strong chance that the love you feel for them is NOT pure love. I had to understand that too. It's DEPENDENCY and needing them for you to feel whole and that will NEVER ever work. You actually need to step back from this situation because , again using Abraham's words, it doesn't involve you and there's nothing you can do to change it right now so you just have to literally ignore it. Catch yourself thinking about it early and then change your thought. Allow yourself to feel negative emotion but don't get stuck there. Think about all the negative emotion you have felt over the situation with this person in general and start to really think whether this is the right person for you at all, because the thing about real love, is that it isn't supposed to hurt THAT much. Think maybe if this is the right time for you, maybe you're not ready for a relationship with someone else because you're not stable emotionally and sure of yourself. There are lots of really good Abraham videos on this for sure I would recommend you I was in the exact exact same place as you, exactly, but it took me a year to finally figure out that it did more harm than good for me last year to get so effected by this person and to literally bank my entire life on them and hang on their every word. You do come to a stage where you can distance yourself from them a bit, it takes strong courage and time but you can and you can start to realise that it is possible to have a fun filled awesome life without them....it actually is.... and you definitely deserve a fun filled awesome life. I would contemplate whether meeting him now is a good idea or not, I would strongly advise taking a time out from this situation to go and think of other things, like holidays and books and building yourself up as a person so that you aren't relying his words, actions and promises of love because the thing about people is that they change their minds, they can change their minds in your favour and not in your favour, but everyone does what they think is best for them and then think of other people and that's what you should do too. Change the tables around, he's doing what he thinks is the best thing for him right now which is to take a little adventure with someone else, so you need to do the same and say that you want to rebuild yourself and get yourself into a feeling better place where you can view the world with more clarity and decide from a place of strength what it is you want and right now he cannot be apart of that process and you need time away. He will respect you so much for that, like right now he knows you're probably hanging off his every word, but if you say that you want to go it alone for a time, he will be pleasantly surprised ! So it works both ways A person who takes care of themselves before anyone else is super attractive because it's a trait of being healthy and self preservation and not allowing anyone to actually ruin their lives no matter how much they love them. 

I don't know why everyone thinks I am hurt by him dating someone else or his feelings. I am not hurt by any of it. What bothers me is that he seems to be feeling really low, especially when I was explaining to him how hurt I was at the time. If I really was upset I would be really panicking. I am just trying to understand obstacles and such. Plus, thinking about the other relationship will only give it more energy, I know that. I am not holding onto any of his words, I am more linked to this feeling I get from him. I don't know what he wants me to do. Do I cry? Do I get angry? Why does he seem so guilty? I know I did nothing to him for that to happen.

Plus, his feelings I still recognize, so why is he hurting himself when I am telling him everything is okay? To forgive himself? From the moment I stepped away from him, from the moment he came back, he seems to be really down. He will have good days, but then he gets down out of nowhere.

holistichealing wrote:

Also, the synchronicities are popping a lot more than usual because my main focus is to feel good. But then I worry about him, not that he is bringing me down, I just don't want him to hurt himself. But then how else will he learn too. That is what I am trying to go with.

Maybe people thought you were hurt about his girlfriend because you made a thread titled he has a girlfriend and then proceed to post eight posts in a row showing despair and hurt.

But anyway onwards.....

You now know that all you need to do is focus on yourself. His having or not having a girlfriend is of no concern to you because it's all just a tiny part of a bigger story.

Shooting star put up this video I think you would get a lot from watching it.

http://veronicaloa.boardhost.com/viewtopic_mobile.php?id=2700

Stay strong

Last edited by Oasiscalm (5/04/2016 9:33 am)