Are you asking whether you should become withdrawn and depressed in order to attract your ex back, because his personality is like that?

kristen- the answer lies somewhere in between I think. When dealing with someone who has deep insecurities or self loathing, you have to see the REASON why they are like that. They weren't born that way, something made them cold, some past hurt, trauma, killed their inner innocence and turned them sour. Maybe their parents hurt them emotionally, maybe their school mates, maybe the first girl they ever liked rejected them. Maybe they were the fat kid, maybe they were the 'stupid' kid, maybe they were rejected by their peers (i bet this is the case). They do not WANT to be insecure, no one does, they WANT to be liked, they want to be confident, you need to see him as the man he WANTS to be and meet him on THAT vibration. Maybe he wants to be a John Mayer type, dark and mysterious, maybe he wants to be an alpha male, it appears he's not happy with how he is right now. You need to find out the kind of man he wants to actually be, he may not tell you, you will have to subtly find out. Listen to the music he listens to or read the books he reads, try and find what he's lacking. Maybe he wants to be a superhero so he reads comics, maybe he wants to be a Romeo, so he reads romance novels, maybe he wants to be a Don Juan or James Bond... You need to show him that you see him in that light. He might be moping away to the Smiths, but maybe he sees himself as a rockstar poet type. Relate to him on that level. See the qualities of himself he likes. Maybe he likes being cynical, ask his opinions on things and respect it and be admiring of his thoughts but you don't have to go there. Be the sun to his moon. And yes, you can show him maybe that you're insecure of losing him, feed his ego to make him stronger and confident. Imagine if it was the other way round and you were insecure, wouldn't you love it if a boy came along and saw just a goddess. You wouldn't trust him at first, you'd even push him away, but he persists and then suddenly you start to see it in you too. You can help him higher his vibration by only seeing him in the vortex and not out of it.