Everyone who joined this forum or who comes to this forum comes for the same reason, someone has left their lives, someone who they wished didn't leave, someone who they want to come back, but here's something I think is hard for us to fathom when we're having that problem-that person isn't also looking at similar forums or thinking that same way about us. They left, they have the power to return, but so far, they're staying gone. So what is that? Why is it we're thinking what a horrible thing it is we're not together right now and they're not? Sometimes maybe it was over something that was a misunderstanding, then it's hard because the other person is just hurt and that's why they're not reaching out. Sometimes though it's not. Sometimes the person chose to leave for another reason, something made them leave, something made them think that they would be happier else where. Tonight I got the idea about music. How I love Bob Dylan but my best friend can't stand him. She just doesn't like his music and his voice and doesn't understand his lyrics, but I do. Just because she doesn't like him, does that mean he's not a great musician? Does that mean that he's less than? No. She just doesn't get him. But she likes a lot of music I don't like, I don't think it's good, but it is good to her. So we were left, but does that mean we're unlovable? Less than? Does that mean that this person is the best we can get and we have to fight tooth and nail for them because before they enjoyed our metaphorical song? Maybe they did like our song, but maybe now they prefer Nicki Minaj and we don't like that song, but we want them to like Bob Dylan as much as they did back then because we still do. But maybe there's someone else out there who loves Bob Dylan, maybe there's someone out there who would love us right now for absolutely everything we are, negative and positive. Someone out there who would gladly go to these forums wanting to attract us if they knew about loa. Maybe there already is....In fact, there's definitely bound to be. Maybe that's what the clause 'or someone better' is all about. Maybe one day the person we want might listen to our song again and might remember the great things they felt when they listened to it all the time, those days we were together. Maybe the sound of our laughter, in my case, my smile, will be something they want to see again because it brings them so much joy. Maybe our touch will be the touch they imagine in their sleep again, that would be nice. But if they prefer another song right now, we shouldn't try and be that new song, we shouldn't wait for them in hope that they might change their preference to us again. We should just blast our song as loud and as upbeat as possible like birds when they're attracting their mates, because someone will inevitibly hear it and love it, and it could be our person, it could be a new person. It might be strange that a new person comes along, at first we might be resistant, but why should we be when life is short and all we want is to be appreciated and loved for what we are and to love someone back for what they are, flaws and all. I still think my person will remember me and want to come back, I feel like he's singing another tune right now to see what it's like but he'll get tired and come back to my tune, if only for nostalgia's sake. I do feel however, after reading through posts on this forum that some people really would do better to try and find a person who melds with them more than the person they want. I do feel that we can put people on pedestals or settle for what we know and not allow for a change, and it can lead to very very unhappy situations where we lose our self respect or lose our confidence and take bread crumbs and lie to ourselves and say that we're still happy. It's not pathetic to want someone who doesn't want you, it's not stupid, but it can bring so much sadness sometimes that it's better to ignore that reality and move into a reality where you are wanted and that can mean veering away from the specific person. I think Abraham has said something along these lines before, ignore what you don't want and find what you do want, that's the secret to happiness.

So to sum up, a break up doesn't take away your worth, it doesn't make you ugly or unlovable. It just simply means that that person does not see the shiney value in you right now. They may again in the future, but right now you deserve have your shininess be seen because that's what makes you happy and life joyful. If your specific person doesn't see it right now, ignore them and keep shining and see if maybe someone comes along who absolutely adores what they see, because there will be people who do! And that's when your person might come along, but if they don't, then a life with them would have been unhappy for you because they only saw sand where there was gold.