Alright, just got my tea. Let's get into it.

I know how frustrating this is because I've been in this story almost exactly one year ago lol

The answer is self-love. Self-knowing. Letting go comes naturally from that. I'll expand on that later.

Are you a fan of Star Wars? This is the cave experience. What's in the cave? Only what you take with you. You're facing the dark side - not the dark side that's out there - you're facing the dark side in you. Let it flow. Your self-knowledge gives you great power. That's what all trials by fire do - they make you stronger.

The story starts with a good friend I went out with a few times, but it just never worked out. One moment we're flirting and meeting up, next moment we're fighting. Ah, the joys of being 20 again lol. We drifted apart and I was sad about it. Eh, life goes on. But letting go was hard, even though I knew deep down it's what I needed to do. In Zayn's Pillowtalk, Gigi Hadid reminds me of her so you can imagine how dangerous she is to me lol. In Fall 2014, I decided to make a change: to live confidently. I was sick of feeling bad about the past and brooding about life, so I put my mind-power into successfully making new, positive friends, writing the novel I've always wanted to read, acing my classes, visualizing a successful future, and exercising. It was great! Not only did I feel great and not only was life very good, but I felt confident without her which was priceless.

In April 2015, life was great. I was in the middle of final exam week and acing everything so far. Superman's game was more popular around then and I decided to give it a shot and see what happens. Even if I don't attract that girl, maybe I'll meet someone new and awesome. Life couldn't have seemed more positive.....and then I found out she had a boyfriend. They've been dating for almost a month. At first it felt like a prank or a cruel joke, and then the anger and jealousy came like lightning from the sky. It didn't make sense. I was feeling good for a long time and by theory I was supposed to attract more of that - and then this happens. Life is funny lol.

I was very jealous and angry, mostly angry at myself for being jealous and angry. So much for being confident lol. I had two days off to study for some big exams. As a man, my first instinct was to get action - get to work and don't focus on the feelings. Let my anger fuel my drive to get stuff done. That didn't work. I couldn't focus, all I could do was think of her and feel a lot of things that made no sense. My competitive drive kicked in. I wanted to email her and start again. I wanted to compete with her boyfriend, to win her. I wanted to analyze everything that went right and wrong and prove to myself I could make it work this time. But why did I have to prove it to her or myself? After all this time of being confident, how come I didn't know that I was good enough and didn't need to prove anything? Have you ever played Metal Gear Solid and had to switch the controller port to defeat Psycho Mantis? I felt like I was on the wrong controller port and didn't even know it, fighting Psycho Mantis and not knowing how to to do that. I had to make the switch. So here's what I did:

1. I took off a whole Wednesday just to relax and get back my clarity. I couldn't let my anger and jealousy distract me from my studies, so I decided to deal with them now. Don't run from your feelings, decide that now's the time to accept them and deal with them.

2. I exercised to take out my anger. Burpees and shadow-boxing, weight-lifting, just going for a walk in the city and enjoying the warm weather. The goal was to channel my anger into the exercise and feel more free and confident.

3. I watched a movie to get my mind off of things when it was tough. I watched X-Men: Days of Future Past and it made me feel better.

4. Now that I was calmer, I felt less angry but more sad. Listening to a sad but soothing song can help to meditate on your feelings (be aware of your feelings without judgement, just let them be, emotion is energy in motion so let it run it's course and you'll feel better). I listened to this song all day long:




5. While enjoying the music, I did some affirmations and repeated them until I felt better. It went something like this: "I feel angry. I feel sad. And it's OK. I accept all of my emotions now. I know that I am a strong person and I can let it be. It's OK to feel sad because I know I'm powerful enough to feel better again." Something like that. Complete acceptance of my emotions. Reminding myself that I can be strong. That was my better-feeling thought and I kept repeating it. After a few hours of that, I felt like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders and my heart. She wasn't on my mind anymore, I felt free, confident, and so very grateful. I got to work and aced the rest of my exams and it was quite easy to focus without thinking of her.

So that's what helped me feel better in just half a day. Don't repress your feelings, channel them into something productive like exercise or doing creative works. If you like to write, maybe write a short story that gets the feelings out (same for any other form of creativity). Video games can help release the anger. Movies can can help you feel calmer. It's up to you. The big thing for me was relaxing my mind with the music and using the affirmations to accept my feelings and feel better, to remind myself that I can be strong and confident by accepting my feelings now. It worked. And then I aced my exams.

After that, I did play Superman's game again just for the fun of it. My ego wanted her to like me, my intuition told me to let her go. After two days, I stopped the game and visualized my way - I remembered the good times, felt grateful for her, and pictured energy from my heart going to her hoping it makes her feel happy. That felt good. I had a strong feeling to text her which led to flirting again and she wanted to meet up, but I declined. My intuition told me to let her go and it won. I'm not saying that you should let her go, but trust your heart. For so long, I let my ego play ball while my heart was the B-team on the bench, and it hurts. So trust your inner guidance, I think the ego is like a construction manager but the heart is the architect, they need to work together. Do I still care about this girl? Always. It was fun, I'm grateful for her. Do I want a relationship with her now? No lol. I like being single. Maybe we'll start again some day or someone new will come along and when that happens it'll be the right time.

Remember when I said that it didn't make sense for this stuff to happen when I was feeling so positive? I think I'm more of a realist with this stuff and my life has always seen challenges and bad moments happen when I was feeling great (and great things happen when I was depressed). When tough times comes, I don't think of it as a failure of your vibration or how you use LoA, but the tough time is an opportunity to apply your mind power into making your life better than before. I was feeling so confident and comfortable with my life, and after that little trial of the heart and mind, I learned to be more confident and comfortable in my own skin. You will learn what works for you, you will learn about your own dark side but you will also know that you can face it and rise again. By knowing yourself and what works better for you from this experience, you will have more self-love, you will know what to do and what makes you feel better. And by knowing yourself in this way, it's easier to have faith in yourself and that is a wonderful thing to have. It boils down to self-love, self-knowing, self-faith - remember who you are, you're angry now but you know that there are ways to let it go, you have your doubts but if you look inside yourself and see what you're made of - all those times of being confident, having charisma, being attractive, having faith, doing what you love, getting through challenges - you'll realize that your doubts don't have any power over you unless you believe in them. So believe in something better.





 

Cherished wrote:

Could you please refrain from posting more than one thread of the same title? Thank you.

I only did it so more ppl see

Colonel Roosevelt, I don't quite understand your story? You felt great and confident but then found out the girl you were going to start attracting back had a boyfriend who she only just met and then you got angry about it? But you didn't show her any interest or intiate contact or anything ? How do you know she wasn't thinking and hoping that maybe you might contact her. Society has this rule that once people seem 'taken' we should give up nearly...I don't believe that's true until people are literally engaged or married. Like an old boyfriend of mine came around when I was dating someone new but I went for my old boyfriend and never regretted it....I was waiting for the day he would come and it took him a long time but he came and we had a really sweet relationship, much better than the one I was having when he contacted me. This might also apply to you Boolala, sometimes girls feel they need someone to fill the void, it doesn't mean they're totally enamoured and if you think 'oh damn she's in love, forgotten me, she likes him more, I'm old news, she's betrayed me, this other guy beat me, I feel stupid now if I try, if I lose I'll look pathetic, I deserve a girl who waits for me, I deserve a girl who doesn't go out with other guys when we're not together because I'm not going out with other girls' or whatever...then that's fine, it really is, it's your own moral code and maybe you should decide if at this stage, this girl is worth it to you or will she make you forever feel a bit off even if she does come back, will you forever remember the anger and resentment, will you just make your life and her life miserable by trying to chase her, would it actually be better to find a new princess to be a hero to, because the great thing about new love is that it's untainted, fresh, mysterious, you can be the man you want to be without reminders of your past. Old love is renowned for bringing your past into your hopeful future, you may want to forget, but the other person generally doesn't, all those fights all those times you regret, the other person is still all too aware. But if you love her deeply, so deeply, then you will get past this and you will make actions because that's what women want, they want men to make actions, eventually, in a meaningful manner, at the right time, in the right vibe, at the right place. You have to visualise your desired response from her and then start visualising how she might get to responding that way with the knowledge you posess about her and you. Get confident, work out , do whatever so that there is no way you feel you can come out badly, even if she rejects you at first (girls do that, it's typical for us to do that when we're unsure) you can stand strong and live to fight another day and try again with her at the right time. Love is beautiful, love and anger are also very close on the spectrum of emotion, but love builds while anger destroys, just look at any of Shakespeare's plays and you'll find this. It's ok to feel rage, but just don't act on it and wait and don't do anything until you can find the tender loving feeling and then act on that but also rage has in it passion, so passion and intensity can definitely work in your favour. Remember to always be authentic to yourself and don't try and cover up an emotion, just let it ride without acting