I'm sorry you are having  a hard time, I'm not really sure what to tell you that hasn't been said.

At this point I would say take a time out from the situation.

Go back and read the replies to posts that you have written. You will be surprised how informative this can be. Also it serves as a distraction. But I think you really need to take all the previous advice and let it sink in and commit to following it.

Focus on the goal not the problem.

Also try this, before u go to bed tonight try a visualisation of you and you ex having a family day out where you are happy and blissful. Keep replaying the scene until you go to sleep.
Then wake up tomorrow and vow that for one day you are going to live in the end. Have a day where no matter what happens you will  blissfully tell yourself all you can see is the end result and that you are fully contented.

Can't you see though, that his behaviour is not him leading you on? It's actually a perfect reflection of the energy drop you have had. Think about it. Yu feel great, he comes back. You start putting all sorts of conditions back on him, he disappears. You have to find a way to love him regardless of dates and messages and things. You need to value yourself more- so that you aren't reliant on another person for your happiness. If you can find a way to get your vibration high again, he would return and you'd go on your date. But you're back to creating by default, where you're WONDERING what he's thinking.. Don't wonder- KNOW IT. Believe it, and it will happen.

What to DO is to get your vibration back up. And realise that before you were creating deliberately, but now you are creating by default. Understand the difference. It's always about your vibration. Always. Take a step back and do what you need to do to feel better in yourself.

Oasiscalm wrote:

@Sydney

This is your show. You call the shots.

When you bring the focus back to yourself fully you will become so enlightened. When you start casting the critical eye on the reasoning behind your anxiety and feelings you will start to see this isn't about him.

No one can make you feel a particular way. You elicit the feelings within yourself dependant on what value have placed on their action.

When you can see that it's your reduced worthiness and lack of self live which is causing your reality to be reflected to you as you see it.

I saw a quote it was from Mallica i think but it said "your lover treats you not the way you treat him, but the way you treat yourself at the sublimal level and by what you allow yourself to receive".

Leave him to live his life and do what he needs to do to get to you. The universe will mould events to get the result you want, but you have to do your part.

Also use your daughter as motivation to radiate unconditional love. We learn our relationships with males from our parents. Gift your daughter with the example that she is a goddess and only unconditional love is all she needs to radiate.

I am gonna get back into me, I actually truly have and things are working in my favor sort to speak but this relationship.

Now I do see the quote you put being an interesting point. When I wasn't financially strapped I got hair, nails and feet done regularly and got myself pretied up regularly. Now I budget so much he even mentioned it, that I'm to gorgeous to act regular.

But I just didn't see the need to spend where I didn't have it at the moment.

That goes for gaming out as well. When I was out and about or constantly at the gym he was all over me.

But when we had our kid and his ex wife went bozzerk our relationship crumbled and he still holds me at blame for So many things I felt that how I looked didn't even matter.

Now he is travelling again when he was here those 3 weeks, that's when I noticed the increase of communication it felt great..I was doing veronicas challenge and even got a few lbs down from working out. The weather is good again so I will get back to it.

But I know there's someone else...and that irritates me like no other. His ex wife was mind meshing in our relationship and now we are apart in competing with another chick...can you see the irritation here!

I'm currently trying to work with veeonoca to be irristable to me unable to attempt to compete with. I know I am, it's in my head, in my thoughts, I've got this, then things like yesterday...no call, no text, stood up with no apology happen and it shakes me up.

My daughter will definitely get the best mommy out there. We work out together...I go to therapy to learn how to manage through this hard time...I talk to you guys versus my own friends, I'm truly working on it...it's only been 2 months but I haven't given up...just have always been successful so to get to a point of rejection or resistance leaves me ultimately impatient because I go and get...and this isn't something I can go get...he always came to me and now I'm learni,g I have to do a double take on my thinkin :  I'm not used to and failure is my new insecurity.

The next 2 weeks I'm going to go back into no contact and harvest my butterfly...hopefully I can break out of the shell a bit more irristable, confident, worthy, and knowledgable without interference from negative self talk and being controlling.

If it's possible he too will work out whatever is in his system, enjoy his freedom with her and love every bit of that time, he deserves happiness too. Just not at my expense.

Does this make sense or is bit still not the right mind set?

Oasiscalm wrote:

SydneysMommy wrote:

Oasiscalm wrote:

@Sydney

This is your show. You call the shots.

When you bring the focus back to yourself fully you will become so enlightened. When you start casting the critical eye on the reasoning behind your anxiety and feelings you will start to see this isn't about him.

No one can make you feel a particular way. You elicit the feelings within yourself dependant on what value have placed on their action.

When you can see that it's your reduced worthiness and lack of self live which is causing your reality to be reflected to you as you see it.

I saw a quote it was from Mallica i think but it said "your lover treats you not the way you treat him, but the way you treat yourself at the sublimal level and by what you allow yourself to receive".

Leave him to live his life and do what he needs to do to get to you. The universe will mould events to get the result you want, but you have to do your part.

Also use your daughter as motivation to radiate unconditional love. We learn our relationships with males from our parents. Gift your daughter with the example that she is a goddess and only unconditional love is all she needs to radiate.

I am gonna get back into me, I actually truly have and things are working in my favor sort to speak but this relationship.

Now I do see the quote you put being an interesting point. When I wasn't financially strapped I got hair, nails and feet done regularly and got myself pretied up regularly. Now I budget so much he even mentioned it, that I'm to gorgeous to act regular.

But I just didn't see the need to spend where I didn't have it at the moment.

That goes for gaming out as well. When I was out and about or constantly at the gym he was all over me.

But when we had our kid and his ex wife went bozzerk our relationship crumbled and he still holds me at blame for So many things I felt that how I looked didn't even matter.

Now he is travelling again when he was here those 3 weeks, that's when I noticed the increase of communication it felt great..I was doing veronicas challenge and even got a few lbs down from working out. The weather is good again so I will get back to it.

But I know there's someone else...and that irritates me like no other. His ex wife was mind meshing in our relationship and now we are apart in competing with another chick...can you see the irritation here!

I'm currently trying to work with veeonoca to be irristable to me unable to attempt to compete with. I know I am, it's in my head, in my thoughts, I've got this, then things like yesterday...no call, no text, stood up with no apology happen and it shakes me up.

My daughter will definitely get the best mommy out there. We work out together...I go to therapy to learn how to manage through this hard time...I talk to you guys versus my own friends, I'm truly working on it...it's only been 2 months but I haven't given up...just have always been successful so to get to a point of rejection or resistance leaves me ultimately impatient because I go and get...and this isn't something I can go get...he always came to me and now I'm learni,g I have to do a double take on my thinkin :  I'm not used to and failure is my new insecurity.

The next 2 weeks I'm going to go back into no contact and harvest my butterfly...hopefully I can break out of the shell a bit more irristable, confident, worthy, and knowledgable without interference from negative self talk and being controlling.

If it's possible he too will work out whatever is in his system, enjoy his freedom with her and love every bit of that time, he deserves happiness too. Just not at my expense.

Does this make sense or is bit still not the right mind set?

I completely understand everything you have said and feel.

But know the past has no service to you. The only thing that you need from the past is the lessons learnt. Let it go. Meditate on letting the past go and stop bringing it into your present reality.

Often you write long posts about all the issues you are having but only put one or two lines in about what you are doing for yourself.

Whether you are in no contact not is the issue. It's the emotional and mental effort you spend on him, his actions, his past, your past. Stop that. It's done. Its done, let it go.

Everyday is a new day. A new chance to start again. From here on out you have to believe that you have to power to change this story. Let your focus be about become the radiant being you are inside and out. And budget or not you do it spiritually not physically. Nourish your soul with self love. Praise yourself. Praise your life. Praise him for giving you a becautiful daughter. Praise him for giving u challenges which will push you to find your strength.

I promise you when you focus on yourself and not all of his actions and dating shenanigans, you will feel life become so much lighter.

Keep going.

Well you've said it all honestly! I do post rather long issues. I do focus on the confusion I '  His actions and I haven't put myself as the lead character at all with me and my daughter. The only thing I've focused on it getting it back in track to be a family again, so there's a huge spot light on me being the one with the issue.

I'm afraid honestly But I do get that fear is optional. So that's why I began my hunt to find better ways of coupung through this tough time.

Thank you for all your kindness!