We are currently speaking still, we are friends. Which I am okay with for now since the last thing he said was he wanted me gone from his life. So to still be that important is enough to make me happy. But it is clear I am the only person he speaks to. Which saddens me, this sadness caused resistance.

Here we are talking and here I am creating resistance because I am all he has. He told me he was thinking about joining the army, but is not so sure about it. I already figured it out. He had a set plan withe in it, I was going to be his greatest achievement. Why come back and speak to me at all if you weren't trying to reconnect?

I am aware that him returning was no coincidence, as well as his second thoughts about joining the army not being a coincidence either. But another thing that bothers me is if I tell him I am talking to another guy he will encourage it,  as if insist I date the guy. That does not sit right with me, it does not make sense. I know I know, I guess it is great to say I see my problem there. I am feeding into reality, instead of just working on the progress from within.

I still feel a sense of feelings for me coming from him. But it is like he is trying to delete the past, I am fine with that. All he is trying to really do is move on from the pain. But at the same time he came back to me for one reason and one reason only, he wants to create a better relationship. That is what I believe. He wants to be happy with me still. I have not seen him, we have just been texting.

The resistance I created should have not been there. I mean come on he is speaking to me and it is not just to pass time. He is speaking to me because I believed he would, the same way I can mend our relationship and forge a future for us. But where is my doubt coming from?

Last edited by holistichealing (4/14/2016 9:42 pm)