It feels like I am backtracking. We were becoming friends and then something happened, that I literally had no control over. So I am focusing on controlling the controllable- me. The things that have happened are good in the sense that I have realized what I still need to work on within myself. But today I found myself a bit defeated because I just wanna be friends with him again. I want everything to be how it was even a week ago. I didn't have him back, but at least we were civil and now its like he hates me, even though I did nothing wrong. As well as my other friendships being affected by this when I genuinely feel like I have done nothing but be a good person and visualize right and be happy. I know there is so much negativity in the post, I can barely even write it. But I just want to feel good! I don't care in what forms that comes, I just want to feel good for the sake of feeling good. I don't need him back to feel good, I don't need my friends to realize they are being ridiculous by being mad at me for something I didn't do to be happy. Im gonna keep focusing on the positive things in my life. Because those things are so wonderful. I just don't know where these other obstacles are coming from.