My personal opinion:

NC is considered a rule on this forum, but if you ask me - it's too dogmatic. I see nothing wrong with initiating contact it feels right to you.

The biggest advantage of a NC period is that it gives us time to heal, to help us learn and feel better, to help us be more positive and decide on what's best for us and what we really want in life. It's a time to get ourselves back.

Sometimes people like when the other person initiates first out of ego (want to feel desired) or because they're scared of rejection. Other times people will initiate and either not get a response or get a conversation that makes them feel worse and the spiral into sadness continues. So NC is like a buffer to prevent the monkey mind - those anxious thoughts about whether you did the right thing, if they will contact back or not, and if it will work out.

Of course, it doesn't apply to every relationship. If you had a bad breakup with an ex and one side doesn't want to be contacted by the other, NC is very apt. But if you broke up and it wasn't messy or you're still friends, then contacting can be good. And if you're just attracting someone new, then what's the problem with contacting first? Either way, it's subjective and the NC rule doesn't apply to every situation. Some people think it does because they just heard the advice from others and stuck to it. Sometimes, I think people love the NC rule because they're just scared of contacting first.

And yes, I see your point that if we're focusing on positive outcomes and generally living a positive life, then we should in theory expect a positive outcome. And I do agree, but a lot of LoA theory hasn't matched well with my real life experiences. Bad things have happened when I was feeling good, wonderful things have happened when I was blue. I think people are just generally scared of initiating contact so they cling to it and make it a rule.

A common argument in favor of the NC rule is that if you have complete faith, then contacting first isn't necessary. Maybe it's true, but what if contacting first is your path of least resistance? What if it makes you feel good? What if the more you develop faith, the more your gut feeling tells you to contact? What if when you're in alignment, then you feel like contacting first? It reminds me of this story: http://storiesforpreaching.com/i-sent-you-a-rowboat/  We can use all the LoA tools we want and have faith that the end goal will work out for us, but maybe contacting first (for some people) is the best way to reach that end goal (happy relationship).

My opinion is to just do what your heart tells you. Our gut feelings and intuition knows a lot more than any book or website out there, so trust your intuition. Ultimately, we are one with the Universe, and having faith in the Universe means to have faith in ourselves as well, so trusting ourselves - our own intuitive powers - can be just what we need to get going. After all, if LoA is to teach us anything, shouldn't we learn to have faith in ourselves instead of having faith only in rules?








 

I broke NC today but I'm not entirely sure of the effectiveness. I sent a text to his number but I haven't texted it in so long and he was away until now for 5 months so I have no idea if it's even still his number. The text was positive with nothing to reply to because I don't want to force a reply or make a reply seem like what I wanted, I just wanted to send a message of positivity to him. It was a messy break up, he is resistant to hearing from me.....there is someone else in his picture ....so I don't want to have any pressure coming from me in his life but I feel that I have to be the one to initiate because he's so resistant and because he doesn't seem to view me as a positive influence on his life right now (just an annoyance) so I think I need to change his view of me first before I can really just leave it up to loa .... 

The NC rule seems to create negative vibrations for me bc it makes me think that I better not try to contact him or else something bad might happen or I'll do some sort of damage. But that seems to go against what the LoA teaches. So im trying to figure out how the NC rule fits in w/the LoA? Would you share your thoughts?

Last edited by White4 (4/01/2016 3:05 pm)

It's not a RULE here, it simply makes sense to practice no contact to attract what you want. You have to actually signal to the universe that you trust and believe that your desire is coming. And the best way to send that signal is to put the desire out there and happily go about your life knowing the person will soon contact you. The buffer of time automatically gives you both space. Your ability to let go and trust will shift your vibration. And when they DO contact you, you will see very clearly how people respond to your positive shift in energy. If you are indeed meant to initiate contact, you will feel inspired to do so in an unmistakeable way, and the the results will be positive. It's a win-win and a no-brainer in my opinion. 😊

The difference between lacking and inspired is this. You miss him, you wish he would contact you, you check your phone over and over, and then you convince yourself that it's a great idea to send one little text. You energy the whole time has been focused on him NOT being there, and you then lose MORE of your power as you become a slave to the waiting game.. Will he respond? What if he doesn't? Why didn't he respond? What a jackass!....... That's simply messy.

Inspired action comes when you deliberately make the effort to control your thoughts. You  consciously use your mind to direct your thoughts in a positive and productive way. When you do think of him, it is with eagerness and a sense of unconditional love. You go about your days happily, trusting that he will come. And then something very funny or specific happens. And you get a sudden urge to share that with him. So you send him a "omg the funniest thing just happened.. remember when..." And you end it there. You send it purely because you feel like he will share that moment of connection. But you're doing it genuinely out of unconditional love. There are no questions, no ulterior motives and you actually don't require a response at all. The pull to send a message will be strong and extremely positive. And afterwards you will feel happiness. You simply KNOW when you are inspired to take action. It's obvious.. And if you are questioning if you should or not, then don't kid yourself. It's not inspired action.