Don't be sorry, your post isn't negative. You're just reaching out for comfort/advice and that's what we're all here for. You're not alone, we all feel sad at times and actually I've been feeling a bit down as well. You'll come out of it, just try try to change your thoughts. It's alright to have an off day/period but we have to try not to wallow in it. Just try to focus on things that make you feel good right now. Do anything or think of anything that can make you feel at least a little better and keep building on that. Relax and try to get a good nights sleep, tomorrow is a new day!

It will get easier, you'll get to a point where hearing his name won't bring you down. It takes time. Don't get too offended by people bringing him up. I know it's irritating but maybe they think you'd appreciate them carrying on like normal and not avoiding the issue. Things will get easier!