This could be a long post, so the tl;dr (too long; didn't read) is at the bottom. Also, sorry if I posted this in the wrong sub-forum. 

Back Story

I dated a guy I've nicknamed CP during January 2014. We were seeing one another for about a month before he ended things (1 week before Valentines day, 2 weeks before my birthday). Prior to this, we texted non-stop and saw one another frequently. CP was the first guy I 'dated' since ending my 6 year, borderline emotional abusive relationship. CP and I met via a dating website.

When he ended things, I was a HOT MESS. I cried for weeks, went out with other guys but told them shortly after I wasn't interested, and was tempted to want to reach out to him. But I didn't. I would still see him active on the dating site, and man did that kill. Why wasn't I good enough? Who else is he talking to? Is she prettier than me.. 

It wasn't until I stumbled upon LOA that I realized my anxiety and paranoia (who else is he talking to, how many girls has he been with..) is what drove him away. 

The why

Even after dating many, MANY guys from January 2014-to now, I still want CP back in my life. He is the only guy I have ever felt a connection with-- the one where you don't have to speak to enjoy one another's presence. CP would say things about himself that I too enjoyed, had similarity to, etc., without even telling him/him knowing. I've written a list of my 'dream guy', and CP checks every. single. box.The other guys that I dated -- when it didn't work out with them, my mind always wandered back to CP. 

I've been told that I didn't know CP well enough to be so attached, that he has flaws I don't know. How can I like a guy I've only known for a month?

I stopped listening to all of that a while ago. 

Now

I have been actively using LOA to attract CP back since December 2015. I used to visualize every night, read over a written visualization 2x a day, and write in a gratitude journal everyday. I also attempted meditation.These are techniques that Elizabeth Daniels suggested in her book. I have since stopped pretty much all since it began to feel like a chore, but have once again picked up visualization now that it was suggested I do it right before I fall asleep (and have found success with that). 

Finding this forum has been a godsend. I can say what I am feeling without having backlash or being called crazy. I enjoy reading the posts from everyone; I'm a sponge with all of this information. I am reading Veronica's books, and have bought the Lanie Steven's PW too. 

I truly enjoy coming to this site. However, the more I read, the more doubtful I get. I feel like if I'm not doing it this way.. (because this member found success), then I will never have success. I've also come to the conclusion that there has to be some sort of underlying doubt regarding CP. The Universe tries to find the path of least resistance, so why hasn't CP come yet? 

I have had small manifestations and am seeing signs: I see his surname everywhere; I've been seeing 11 often, and more recently the town in which he works has been popping up too. I have enjoyed this time by myself - I am doing things that I enjoy doing and am pretty much blocking out everyone's bullsh*t. I am MUCH happier now than I was 2 years ago. I am also older, more mature and less naive about the world. 

If I completely rid myself of doubt, I feel like he will manifest into my reality much sooner. So, I am asking for as much advice, feedback, etc. that I can get. Please don't hold back -- I want to get to the bottom of this. 

tl;dr: I believe I have some nagging doubt and would like to rid of it completely. Techniques, feedback, etc. is all welcome and appreciated (: