Vera wrote:

You're trying too hard and the result is that you're creating so much resistance in your life. 

If you think this is hard, which you mentioned in your posts several times, then it will be hard. Watch your thoughts and words. If you can't have positive or neutral thoughts and say positive or neutral words about him and the idea of the two of you, it's better to not think of him at all. Think of something else, relax, totally ignore those destructive thoughts. 
 

Thank you so so so much!! Sending much love and thanks to you and everyone!