I woke up with resistance again, honestly this resistance has been meeting me every morning. But all the other mornings I was feeding into it, which would explain my situation. I started thinking about when I was living with my darling that one time, he was looking forward to marrying me.

But I was still too caught up in my problems and insecurities. At first we were in alignment, but then it hit me that we stopped becoming a vibrational match because I was not in the right mindset. So then my negative vibration influenced him and that's how I got sent back home. It was killing both of us.

This time around with what happened yesterday I was trying to take note of something. He said he hates me and doesn't care about me, but then I have proof otherwise. The day I met him in a restaurant with my friend he came up to me with a smile and started being silly with me.

One day I was at McDonald's waiting for my mom to come home because I don't have house keys. He told me to come over his place and the first thing he did when he opened that door was hug me. He said it made him feel guilty, so he told me to come over. Which means that he cared. I get an injury he worries, I get a serious infection he worries.

If I cry in front of him he wants to know what's wrong. The way he has been acting towards me this week with being a douche is so contradicting, am I right? But then this all links back to my negative thoughts. Yet, it's like he is trying to make himself hate me because he cares too much.

So I thought instead of thinking about all the negative things that happened between us, I should think about the scenarios that I brought up that showed he cared. One day that really meant a lot to me was when we were napping together, if I pulled away for some space he would pull me back and bury his head in me with a smile. His true feelings came out right there.

It makes me tear happily because it made me happy that he wanted me to stay near him. I appreciated that moment between us. He also would pet my head and give it kisses. Aren't these moments how he really feels about me? It feels more real to me then the way he was talking to me yesterday. When he starts being a douche it feels like I am talking to someone else.

The Dali I know, (Dali is his middle name) and the Dali I have been speaking to are very two different people. The one I know loves me and treasures me, this other one is the one I created out of negativity.

Last edited by holistichealing (2/27/2016 10:56 am)

He said I don't love him, he said I'm obssesive.