This is why I am going to therapy. But in order to get help I have to repeat this story and dig deep in what the issue is. I have put it off for too long and tried to help myself. I have always felt like therapy is for crazy people, but I have gone back to feeling down after finding out about the rebound that I couldn't do it anymore and it as the last straw for me. I'm going because I am tired of holding on to this resentment, I want to be able to healthily let it the **** go. Im tired and I want to be happy. I have tried on my own and I can't do it anymore thats why I am seeking help.

Everyone here has helped me immensley, when I first got here I got out of my funk and i started to progress immensley, but I may have felt great on the outside but wasn't feeling it on the inside entirely, it was like I was wearing a veil. what destroyed me was the rebound. and though i may have portrayed my happiness here I wasn't 100% there.

Thats why i made this decision. I am doing it for me, to hopefully be able to make myself happy! I am looking into talking to someone else perhaps who is a better fit. I did feel a lot of relief after talking to the first therapist and finally being told that i need to stop blaming myself, and see my worth,

I want to be happy again, I was doing great like I said, everyone was rooting for me and I went back.

Like I said, I am ashamed of myself because I had progressed so well with Cherished help, and I want to succeed immensley this time. This is why I am doing this, not for him, not for anybody, but for ME, to find ME, and make ME happy. I will get out of this.

Last edited by CarpeDiem (8/13/2015 4:46 pm)

I talk to a new therapist and this guy is great and when I brought up LOA he was supportive of it as long as it was positive.

Unfortunately, he said the same thing about my ex. I am not the issue, its him. I learned a lot and I feel great.

I don't know what the future holds but I have to close this chapter of my life. My ex isn't a healthy person for me, and has a lot of problems within himself. He is a toxic person. therapy makes you realize a lot of things about yourself. I have finally stopped dwelling on the past, I am slowly now finally being able to erase all these pains that he cause me, this therapist is truly helping me.

Found out I am a person with a big heart who tries to help and change people who don't want to be saved. And that's my issue and why I haven't been able to let go.

It felt like a giant load was taken off my shoulders.

As far as my ex goes, I am leaving him behind and am going on this new journey of self love and discovery. I don't know what the future holds but at this present time, but I have to find myself and be the best person of me. And if it's meant to be it'll be.

I do know at some point, my ex will regret and realize letting me go was a huge mistake and I have no doubt in that.

It's time to be selfish, and fall in love with myself again and I am so happy to be restarting this journey.

Thank you guys on this forum, I am going to continue posting as how my therapy is going. I am beyond happy I finally found this new therapist and have done this. I am going to find love, and it'll be with myself.

Thank you guys. This journey will have bumps but I have all of you here as well to pick me up.

Last edited by CarpeDiem (8/15/2015 4:45 am)

I am not 100% but I have so much hope that he is going to help me.

And that's all we need, is faith and believing in ourselves. And I know in my heart this was one the greatest things I am doing for myself and I am proud of myself for making this step.

I know God/the Universe knows what's best and in my case it'll bring me what is best for me and it could well be him. Who knows. I am holding onto my faith. I am excited.

This is something so small but guys, I finally now have people I can call friends.

I have been on here saying how lonely I was since coming here. I have been asking the universe to bring back my friends who disappeared to apologizing to me (most have come back into my life and we have a better relationship now)

But this girl from work since meeting me has made me feel so special. She invites me to hang out and makes me feel welcomed. yesterday someone from her group of friends got my number and since has been inviting me to hang out with their group often.

This girl and her group of friends literally are making me feel so welcomed and these are the kinds of people I have wanted.

Im happy, I am destroying my loneliness that I have felt. One of my desires has come true. Thank you.

Last edited by CarpeDiem (8/17/2015 8:45 pm)

So... Kissed someone today 😁
Do I feel bad about it... Pssh, I can do what I want. Lol, the guy told me I was sexy ;) felt nice feeling appreciated. I got complimented left  and right today by a few guys.

Really not focusing on my love. Been really really selfish and just focusing on me. Like I said I have let go and just letting the universe bring it back to me. I am doing me, therapist is really helping me see what I need to change and he's helping me heal. I really no longer am pinning for him, I know my worth and my value. Not waiting around for him at all and just really doing me. I visualize here and there and just let it be. He'll soon realize that I am the best, I have trust.

If he comes back great and I don't mind if someone better comes along. I DESERVE THE BEST and deserve to be happy and treated right.

If it's someone better why would I complain. I will be happy.

I am happy with how things are going, and I hope I can continue this way.

I now have new friends, finally doing things I couldn't do before that he didn't like or if he wasn't there, and am really pushing myself to do so many things.

Its all about ME.

Last edited by CarpeDiem (8/20/2015 2:56 am)