1 of 1- TheGiver
- Warrior
Offline - Registered: 1/02/2016
- Posts: 297
Ugh. Need someone to talk me out of this.
The last few weeks have been awesome for me because I've really been focusing on myself and my happiness. But something just came along that has the potential to push me out of alignment.
My stepmom just texted me that my Pop-Pop is in the ICU and it doesn't look good for me.
Naturally, the death of a loved one is going to lower your vibration a little, there's no getting around it. I'm at peace with that, which is much better than being angry or cursing the universe.
Here's my problem: things ended with my guy a few months ago when I sent him an email after months of not hearing from him (go back and read my story for more details) and he told me he was in Ireland because his grandpa was dying. I suppose that contributed to his cold behavior towards me.
I'm assuming his grandpa passed away, and now mine is, too. Is it fucked up that in my head I'm viewing this as an opportunity to reach back out? The deaths happened so close together; I just want to email him and say "I'm going through a rough time and I understand now what you were going through. I just want to express my condolences". Not even try to initiate anything.
However, I know that in my emotional state right now I'm not exactly thinking rationally. I know deep down this is a bad idea. I just need someone to tell me WHY it is, so logic can win out and stop me.
I mean, is this a bad idea on a LOA level?
I'm just upset and want to talk to someone who's gone through this situation recently. I know he has, and I know this will be a chance to not only get closer and bond over something, but there's no way he'd react negatively to me reaching out because of the sensitivity of what's going on with me (plus he can relate). It's a free chance to have a good exchange with him. But is it wrong I'm thinking this way? That I'm using what happened with my grandpa to re-open a dialogue with him? I do think I'd feel better talking with him. He'd understand (even though I know there's tons of other people I could reach out to who would understand).
But again, I know I'm not vibrationally ready for him to come back yet. So maybe this is cheating? Maybe he'd view this as me pushing too much, but I don't if that's the case because hopefully he'd be empathetic to what I'm going through since he just went through it.
What do you guys think?
- TheGiver
- Warrior
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- Posts: 297
Re: Ugh. Need someone to talk me out of this.
Rereading this I definitely realize reaching out to him is a bad idea, just because there's still potential this could push him farther away (i.e. him thinking this is a desperate attempt to make amends). Why risk all the work I've done vibrationally just to blow it. I realize I'm in a lower emotional state right now, but that's no excuse.
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Thread Starter- Vera
- Warrior
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- From: San Francisco / Philippines
- Registered: 7/07/2015
- Posts: 320
Re: Ugh. Need someone to talk me out of this.
Always think of your intention for doing whatever it is that you plan to do. What is your real intention for reaching out? Be honest with yourself.
Intention is everything because it is the seat of your soul's energy. Your intention will be the cause of all effects. The quality of the effects / results that you want depends on the quality of your intention.
Your intention should reflect who you really are (your true nature) -- and who you really are is beyond ego, and one that always reflects unconditional love. You will know if your decision is right when your intuition tells you it's right. You'll know this when you become still... do nothing for a while and just listen to yourself -- to that inner voice in you.
What does that voice say? What that voice says is ALWAYS right because your soul is always right.
Do not let your sadness, heartache, fear, worry drown out that inner voice in you. Always listen to your intuition, to your gut feel, and that internal GPS in you, because it always knows the right thing to do.
- TheGiver
- Warrior
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Re: Ugh. Need someone to talk me out of this.
It's telling me not to do it, because even considering it is reflective of limiting beliefs I still have. This thing with my grandpa and my reaction to it is the universe's way of saying "Something bad just happened to you and your gut instinct is still to reach out and rely on this person." I'm not saying it's not good to rely on others to help you through a difficult situation, but when it's your person AND ONLY YOUR PERSON you're relying on, that's not good.
A few years ago I had this huge crush on my English teacher and we were really close. I had really bad depression and all my close friends kept telling me to go to therapy, but I would've listen. However, when my English teacher told me to I went without a second thought. I was so wrapped up in my teacher, I would do anything he said and always rely on him when things went wrong. Even though I had a perfectly good group of friends around me who were trying to help (and could help me, if I had let them) and probably knew me better than my teacher. But I wouldn't listen to them.
So now here I am, getting a test from the universe. I could reach out to my guy, but it's putting him as the cure to this new pain in my life. I have other friends, people who know me better than my guy, and who have been in the same situation as me ((losing a grandparent). I'm going to reach out to them because this is how I'm combatting my limiting belief (which is that one specific person has to always be my savior).
I just had a big aha moment, so thank you Vera for your kind words. Hopefully everyone reading this learns a big lesson too, about situations like this and what the universe is trying to tell you about yourself through them. tThey're important for your growth and development.
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Thread Starter- Colonel Roosevelt
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- Registered: 1/30/2016
- Posts: 530
Re: Ugh. Need someone to talk me out of this.
Hi, I'm sorry about your grandpa, I will send healing energy to him, your family, and you. I think it's better to just focus on sending healing/loving energy to your grandpa, it may make you feel much better.
My uncle had a heart attack on Christmas Eve. He lives in Florida, my aunt lives alone and sometimes watches over him. She often gets panic attacks, so I had to counsel her on the phone, help her ease her anxiety, and then help her find information she needed. Between breaking the news to my Mom and walking my aunt through this, I know how stressful this stuff can be.
It's perfectly fine to reach out to this guy if you want to. Do what feels right to you, trust your intuition. There are so many variables in this universe that we do not see or understand, and you break it down into right or wrong about using this situation to contact him. Your intuition on the other hand comes from a part of you that sees a bigger picture, so it's a lot more complex than that. Trust that unseen forces behind the scenes are helping you.
If you don't feel right texting him now, just remind yourself that you don't feel right about it and that should be enough reason for you. Sorry to be harsh, but if he doesn't respect you wanting to talk about this with him, consider letting him go to be happy with yourself and being open to someone better. I know, we're the creators of our reality and we should be able to influence other people and all that jazz, but sometimes there's so much pain in trying to make others love us, letting go of that job can open to door to feeling better about you. I've learned that trying to make others love me didn't help my confidence, learning to be better to myself did, to trust myself and my intuition, did.
Veronica Isles LOA coach veronicaislescoaching.com