Hello, beautiful people of the forum. I'm new here but have been lurking around from time to time

A little background on my story: I broke off with my bf last September and had been really bitter about it (even though i was the one that ended it). I resented him so much for the way he hurt my feelings towards the end of the relationship, and how little he valued our relationship (suggesting a break up is like his normal routine whenever we get into a fight). But at times I'll miss him so much and wished so hard that none of these had happened. We have been together for around 2.5yrs and for the last 5 months we went into a long distance relationship. When we last spoke to each other in October, i told him to stop all communication even though i still cared for him because it hurts to just hear him ramble on about his life and other girls. Basically, my emotions were in a mess for the past few months. Even though I know enough of the LOA basics, I can't seem to find the motivation to do anything about my situation.

After trying Lanie method, binaural beats, affirmations, NAPS, hypnosis audios to put me in a better place (tbh, i wasn't very patient) i came across a hypnosis meditation track by Paul McKenna posted in this forum. All i did was put it on loop and played it when i sleep (i fall asleep too easily, can't meditate lol) And I noticed that, everytime when i feel really frustrated, and played this track when i sleep, i would get some signs the next day.

So, in December, he's back in the country for a month or two and he initiated contact (kinda) but he was very cold. Through these conversations i gathered that he still cared (he had been drinking alot since our nc and lost a lot of weight). We talked a little here and there in December, then there was no further contact. Less than 2 weeks ago, I told myself to get a grip and just try to RS him, properly this time, and stick to it. And at the same time i would constantly try to "send" firm messages to my subconscious mind about him contacting me and telling me that he still misses me and loves me. I imagined his voice saying that he loves and misses me whenever i remembered to. I firmly told myself to put away those bad memories for as long as i can and just focus on the RS, visualizations and all the stuff that i believed will work for me.

I think it was 5-6 days after i've started, he suddenly texted me, asking if i wanted to hang out at his place before he leaves the country and ofc i agreed. We talked for a few hours about random things and people in our lives, then out of the blue he hugged me and told me how much i meant to him and that he misses me badly, but we can't be together because I deserve someone better bla bla bla. We made out and got intimate after. The next day, he called and asked me out for lunch. When we were walking on the streets, he held my hand. I was very surprised actually as he was the one that always goes on and on that i should be moving on and getting someone who deserves me, and that we can't be together and he doesn't wanna waste my emotions etc. And here he is, holding my hand and strolling the streets while chatting happily, like how we used to.

He left the country again on that same night (that was 4days ago) and we haven't spoken since. But somehow, I'm not anxious about it and kind of on procrastination mode again. I want to fix a few issues about myself and my self esteem before i dive back into attracting him back for good and not fall back to the same vicious cycle. Some 10 days ago, I told myself that I would create an account and post my success story when it happens. Although we're not back together yet, but i'll work towards it~ Hope this encourages some of you