Look in the mirror every day and say "I love you" to yourself. I know it sounds silly/stupid, but we respond better by seeing someone directly tell us something.

There are a million other ways to accomplish this feat, but the mirror method is a pretty easy one you could start doing. It works!

thank you both! will keep you posted on progress and if i find anything especially useful along the way

i'm wondering how to build confidence in general. affirmations don't seem to be quite enough for me, sometimes i have a knowing that what i want is on its way but life has many challenges, how can i stay confident throughout?

dynamochick2210 wrote:

lol well i haven't been doing so good with this, yes affirmations but i haven't got round to talking to the mirror yet, i get self conscious easily  any other techniques any of you kind folks wouldl recommend?

 
Stick with this one. When you can look yourself in the eyes and affirm that you are wonderful and that you LOVE you, you will have come a long way. 💜

Persephone wrote:

I struggle with self-confidence, but something that helps me is to remember times when I was feeling self-confident. Most of all I remember my childhood, there wasn't even the tiniest bit of self-doubt back then. I knew I was wonderful, special, unique, and I radiated happiness; I remember my friends being less happy than I was sometimes and so I would comfort them, and I just knew I was doing it right.

Then I remember the many successes I've had in my life, I will think back to some of the times I've felt glowing and triumphant and get into that feeling of warmth and gratitude. I write, draw, and compose, so whenever there is a more mundane situation that needs to overcome, looking back at some of the things I've created makes me happy and remember that I am very lucky to be able to do these things, and no matter what happens here in the world of the rat race, I can still live my dream of living in a Parisian bookstore, writing books, helping to stage Shakespeare plays and acting in them, playing music, and learning to tango.


This will be my bed someday! what are your dreams?

Another thing that can help is to pretend you are a character you admire, who has the traits you desire (sorry, I'm in a corny rhyming mood). Lack of self-confidence is an ego problem. Step out of your own ego, and you step into a world of infinite possibility. It's kind of hard as I'm a girl, but at the moment I admire James Bond's reckless charm, his lack of worry about what others will think of him, and his supreme self-assurance; I also love (BBC) Sherlock's brilliance, his use of mind palaces, and his maverick disdain of convention and rules, so I'm basically switching between imagining myself being one or the other of these men. 

What would Sherlock do? Would he sit here shuddering, frightened of something he knew he could tackle with his pinky finger? No, he'd just do it, and have fun in the process. He wouldn't doubt, he wouldn't get stuck, he wouldn't care what others thought. He would work until it was done.

So, if you're having trouble feeling confident, remember the times you did feel confident, or pretend you're someone else who doesn't have the fears that you do. Just imagining it all as a game, fun, exhilarating, can help. And as Cherished says, affirmations help. I've not really used mirror technique but I have it on the authority of a friend who is a counsellor that it works!

This message wasn't for me, but I want to thank you for this advice. And I want this bed, me too ☺