First off, you sound very emotional right now so I HIGHLY suggest you hold off on sending that email. Not being mean, we all get into those states. I've made a lot of bad decisions when my feelings were all stirred up, so that's my suggestion to you so you don't make the same mistakes I did.

and i dont want to force him if you know what i mean? i dont want him feeling cornered or anything. i want him to want me too just as much as before, and i want him to feel free and give love freely, but its kinda awkward because ill see him soon hopefully at some event buuuuuuuuut i always get so nervous around him lol i cant even flirt i freeze up and go stone cold. theres lots of like ice between us he gets jealous and angry and possessive though we only had one date

yeah i know i know i sounds like a drama queen and so does he but we're cute drama queens together

aw thank you youre so nice to be responding so quickly to me and compassionately i know i sound a bit stupid about this 

i always tried to get rid of my attachment to him but a friend suggested that my problem is actually just not acting on my feelings, im a bit relationship/love phobic after an abusive relationship i dont date, im still very young but i know hes the right guy for me but ive given him all the wrong signals

if it makes sense im not as needy or desperate as i was, believe me all the while while pushing him away it was a struggle cos part of me thought he was like the air i was breathing, ie that if we didnt end up together i wouldnt survive, and because of that i reacted strongly to him in negative ways because i dont like those feelings, they controlled me and i didnt want to be in love

now ive accepted them and know that technically hes just another guy, but i cant see myself having feelings for another guy

im horrbly complicated i know .  
ok so summary is for anyone reading, i am in love with him, im happy single but i dont want any other man and dont want him to move on just because of a misunderstanding, i feel ready to accept love into my life now but i just want to tell him as simply as i can - well i want to ask him if we can start afresh, otherwise he will probably always hate me while wanting me at the same time. i do know he'll always want me. but he's also very logical and might think a relationship isnt on the books. he might be as scared of his feelings as i have been of mine. you know? i know he wants me but the second chances thing.....

what is living 'as is'?
lots of love to you thanks xx

ps the giver you dont have to reply lol i dont want to hog all your attention 

Last edited by dynamochick2210 (1/20/2016 8:42 pm)

instead of sending an email, you can just wait until you get your emotions under control, and keep it very simple and just ask him to meet up, if you feel the timing is right, there shouldnt be a sense of urgency... you want to be in a place of confidence, and people can feel that in person and are attracted to that and if your an emotional wreck then its best to hold off on that, but i would keep it very short and simple like, hey would you want to grab dinner soon? and see if there open to it. But sometimes you dont have to take action because the universe is already doing the work no need to force anything.
hope this helps

hey aw wow thanks guys for your kind responses

@The Giver - ok, so i vividly imagine that i'm currently with the guy? i used to do that naturally when i was infatuated with him. i no longer am lol but i guess i almost got a result last time...almost. it was me who stuffed it up more than once

@leoSourceenergy - thanks, it does help; i probably sound very intense here but thats because my head is so hung up on past problems and negative scenarios. i don't actually feel urgent even about seeing him again, i'd just like it to happen sometime this year. i just cant help thinking logically that the longer i wait the more likely he is to find someone else, thats the only real desperation. believe me im well past infatuation or *true* desperation now whew

@Cherished - your right, i've sent him love in the past and the results were amazing. i just have problems getting into the state of mind i was in when i first attracted him, where everything was so effortless. ive got some powerful negative beliefs about our relationship and what he must think about me these days.
also im going through other stresses atm ahahahha

ok, i like this script thing

i'll post my script in the next post

love to you all