Hi everyone, I'm hoping this won't come off as annoying but I need to vent because I can't to friends anymore without them ignoring me or changing the subject.

Anyways, I recently had been having conflicting feelings regarding my boyfriend because me and my manager have been flirting. I can honestly say I find my manager cute and so sweet but it's like I get that he's not him feeling if that makes sense. I'm guessing I feel like if I dated him it'd be to fill the void of my boyfriend in the meantime.

As soon as I started becoming kind of confused on what to do regarding my boyfriend and my manager everything kind of got unclear regarding my boyfriend. The same friend I had mentioned telling me all this amazing stuff about my boyfriend now was like he doesn't seem like he wants to budge to come out to NY because of his job, then because of my manager was like maybe try again in a year, ect. It was honestly confusing because then he said that my boyfriend said if he did come out here he'd probably chicken out with seeing me. But then the friend had said the manager would be to fill a void and I should keep trying with my boyfriend, making it seem like he's just really scared and he's the one making this confusing. So I'm just really confused because that day was first time in like a month I felt weird about my boyfriend and I.

But then I got my paycheck the other day and went shopping and most of the parts of my outfit for when I go out to Illinois to see my boyfriend, I even mentioned going on a trip, dying my had purple (his favorite color) and my mom didn't say anything, she was going along with it, so I'm not sure if this is a good sign or not. I also really wanted to get pregnant by my boyfriend, it almost happened once and we had talked about names, we both loved the name mason. In the same day A pregnant woman came on my line, than after her was a woman with a son named mason. Then I saw on his Facebook he had been drinking with his friends and he never did that while we were together so I'm just really confused, anyone know what I should do?

Like I thought I liked my manager but it's like he isn't my boyfriend and than all this stuff happening is confusing me. I know this is really long but my friends don't care about this like you guys do, so please any advice, comments, opinions.

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Jorge and I love each other and we'll be together soon. ❤️