i think you should stop focusing on him and him having trouble forgiving himself, its still being attached to what is now rather than what you should be
I know I do the same mistakes and that s why i think I see it clearly when someone else is doing that

If its difficult to see him and you happy in your mind then let it go for a while and focus on you and you only to get strength
otherwise just ignore what he does and in your mind imagine he has forgiven himself

as you say you have been hearing this for years, stop hearing that and hear in your mind - I have forgiven myself and I am ready to date you

i think we all do the mistake that we keep hearing what they are saying in the real world instead of ignoring that and hearing in our inner world what we want to hear instead, that is why the Laines method is so good i think it makes us slowly believe that we are hearing what we want to hear, at least when i do that i feel happy as i only hear what i want him to say not what he really says

stop saying and feeling its eating him inside, take your focus of that and start to not only see and visualize him to say the opposite but mainly to feel the feelings you would feel if he was saying exactly what you want to hear

I will focus more on him forgiving himself. In my mind we are very happy together. I do Lanie's method 3 times a day and if I'm not visualizing I'm not thinking about him at all. It has worked very well except in that regard. (He told me he wants to take me out to dinner and that he was thinking about me, just like I visualized) I think that is the main thing that is holding me back from the perfect relationship with him. I need to fully erase the past. I'm frustrated because it's only when I start talking to him does he say stuff like that. I never imagine it. In my head we are married and he says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.

I agree with TrustMe!

Maybe at this point you still expect him to keep apologizing and saying he can't forgive himself for whst he did, despite the fact you are visualizing and feeling better. I think accepting this current state and accepting how he feels would allow you to feel more at ease. so what if he said that? it doesn't mean he won't forgive himself today or tonorrow and ask you to be with him. he could move past this just like that. part of you still expects so this take it easy and expect him to forget what happened and reconcile with you! and so it will be

Last edited by nsquared (12/23/2015 12:32 pm)

amazing! Great you see how much you have accomplished already :-)
keep it up!