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7/09/2015 2:15 am  #1


CarpeDiem: My Journey

I have read people manifesting their ex back quickly. It has been three months for me and still nothing. And the fact that we've broken up twice already makes it feel like my situation is grim. A thirsd chance seems insane. I broke NC because I needed his help the other day (and sortve to test the waters) and he was a complete ass and of course to defend myself I responded angrily. I felt like that was a major setback and felt like I ruined my chances with how angry I was with my responses. I specifically told him it's cruel that he was still acting like that especially when I asking for help. I felt like he should've been civil. His cold responses and sometimes his ignoring when I was asking him for help on something only he could help me really hurt.

I felt like with how I responded I ruined my chances. I was told not to worry as I can still turn things around.

However I felt like time Is passing and I am losing my chances.

Am I letting time go by not improving the situation?

Now some background:
Another thing that's hindered me is that I asked for Veronica's help immediately after the break up during a frantic state. I improve then of course I get random bursts of frantic was which disappoint me because I do so well. I have been through hell the past few months which led to my breakup which was the nail in the coffin. I had to move on from so much the past few months. I Almost lost my dad to a fatal life threatening brain hemorrhage, my mom losing her job and now having to full commit to taking care of him, to my lover just abandoning me when I needed support. Everything caused me intense depression and anger and hate that I felt like it hindered me to recover. That's why I feel like is been taking me longer I had a still am recovering from all the difficulty I have been through.

Every aspect on my life since discovering LOA has changed. My dad miraculous is recovering after he was told he wouldn't live, I fixed my relationship with my parents, I got into my dream university, and started making new friends and had those who abandoned me during that time apologize for not being there. I turned a lot of things around. The only is I haven't gotten is my ex and I feel like I am ruining it more. But I only responded the way I did because of how he acted towards me which I know was wrong of me. Everyone now tells me that it's him who is being petty and I am feeding into that with my responses.

Sorry for the lengthy post but I feel like to much time is passing and I ruined my chances with my angry responses. It's been bothering me. I feel like I suck at this and have been failing miserably. But I just feel like he and I aren't over... my heart keeps telling me this ain't over.

I need some help guys. It's really crushing me. Can I really turn this around or have others been in this situation and turned it around.

Last edited by CarpeDiem (7/23/2015 5:01 am)

 

7/09/2015 2:37 am  #2


Re: CarpeDiem: My Journey

Yes, you can turn it around. I've been doing it and so many others have done it! But let's start again. Do you  really believe that you create your own reality?


If you imagine it in your mind..
Believe it in your heart..
Feel it in your soul..
You will hold it in your hand πŸ’žΒ 
 

7/09/2015 2:50 am  #3


Re: CarpeDiem: My Journey

After finding a lot of LOA stuff I realized I used it unknowingly. I met the current guy I am trying to manifest after my ex before him just dumped me through text. I said screw this I deserve to be pursued for once, I wanted a guy to chance after me, A guy that actually was proud of me and encouraged me to always stay in school and pursue my career goals, I deserve a good guy for once. And right afterwards he magically showed up. He did everything I wanted. He respected me, told me constantly how smart and sexy I was, he literally did everything he could to help me buy my supplies or pay for text books if I ever needed money at my community college.

I found my dream guy. But since I had been hurt in the past by other guys I felt like something was off. With so much doubt a year later I found out he hung out with a coworker (who I believe had interest in him) after I went snooping in his phone (he doesn't know I ever did that). I don't think anything happened but it hurt that hedidn't tell me about it. After that we started to fight so much and our relationship crumbled. We broke up right at our year and a half mark. Went NC for a month and finally I tried to win him back he rejected me I let him go. I knew I wanted him back and knew he would come back after he told me he wouldn't. He came crying to me days later and we hung out. Things were great we talked for four more months (never got back together but we reached our two year anniversary) we were happy. but the fights started happening again once things started going sour in my life. I took my pain with my mom and dad out on him. And this time our breakup was not done like last time. He just coldly texted me and just disappeared and left me
In limbo. I begged and pleaded and he finally just said he was done and I needed to move on. He blocked me and got rid of me from everything. That's my story.

I was afraid when everything with my parents happened what more could go wrong. I was afraid he would abandoned me. Since everything was going bad I felt like more bad things would happened and he did leave.

I believe I caused my break up.

I manifested him into my life before. I manifested him after our first break up and believed he would come back even tho he said he wouldn't (which he ended up coming back) and I believe I brought this break up on myself. I brought this shitty situation upon myself.


So I do believe in LOA and I do believe I caused all of these situations both the positive and negative. Even during those time I unknowingly used LOA. I discovered LOA after my break up I wanted to turn a lot of things in my life around which I have. Just haven't gotten him back.

I believe I deserve him, I deserve a happy relationship with him. I genuinely am a caring person, I have never felt the way I have for him with anyone else.  I realized with LOA there were a lot of things I didn't like about myself that I needed to be changed. People have noticed changes in me. People are warmer people have told me I glow now and that they admire me so much for being so happy and overcoming everything that I had been through. My anger and sadly secretly only comes out on these forums where I can vent or when it's about my ex.

And that's my struggle. My
Negativity is triggered there. My
Hopelessness. My doubts and fears. I doubt myself. I feel stupid for constantly wanting proof or some sortve of sure fire reassurance. And I feel
Like I am
Hurting myself with all the time going by.

Last edited by CarpeDiem (7/09/2015 3:07 am)

     Thread Starter
 

7/09/2015 3:21 am  #4


Re: CarpeDiem: My Journey

CarpeDiem...I used to ask for proof also but I realized asking for prooof was indicating that I don't have enough faith and patience for the Universe/God to help me. You ask for proof for something that is lacking. If you had your guy this very moment then you wouldn't be asking for proof or talking to any of us.

I have been in your situation before and I realized with Veronica's help and learning about LOA, that you honestly can't even have an ounce of doubt. You can't put a time limit even though sometimes it seems as if time is ticking away.

LOA is working all the time. For my situation, I have told myself that I just like how a restuarant always gives me what I order, the Universe is also going to give me my guy. Just like how in a restaurant you aren't worried about your food, you somehow have to find a way to not worry. Just be happy knowing that your guy is coming

Have you talked to Veronica lately?

 

7/09/2015 3:58 am  #5


Re: CarpeDiem: My Journey

It's been a struggle. And I feel like I have let myself down. Including her.

I've been talking to her for a couple months now and I struggle
Immensely. I have so much resistance and conflict with my head and heart. I want to be at the level where you and cherished seem to be. I hate that I've been in this funk for so long. I feel like I should already be at the point where I feel great. I have to much resistance from everything that has happened in my life. I'm slowly recovering.

Last edited by CarpeDiem (7/09/2015 4:00 am)

     Thread Starter
 

7/09/2015 5:04 am  #6


Re: CarpeDiem: My Journey

Ok. Deep breaths. Will you try something for me? This helped me immensely when I was in the funk to end all funks. Trust me, my life was not all roses, and it wasn't so long ago either.

Can you please tell me where you are on this scale? No wrong answer, just identify where you think you are at right now?

1.    Joy/Appreciation/Empowered/Freedom/Love
2.    Passion
3.    Enthusiasm/Eagerness/Happiness
4.    Positive Expectation/Belief
5.    Optimism
6.    Hopefulness
7.    Contentment
8.    Boredom
9.    Pessimism
10.    Frustration/Irritation/Impatience
11.    Overwhelment
12.    Disappointment
13.    Doubt
14.    Worry
15.    Blame
16.    Discouragement
17.    Anger
18.    Revenge
19.    Hatred/Rage
20.    Jealousy
21.    Insecurity/Guilt/Unworthiness
22.    Fear/Grief/Depression/Despair/Powerlessness


If you imagine it in your mind..
Believe it in your heart..
Feel it in your soul..
You will hold it in your hand πŸ’žΒ 
 

7/09/2015 9:07 am  #7


Re: CarpeDiem: My Journey

17? 14 or 15?

     Thread Starter
 

7/09/2015 3:46 pm  #8


Re: CarpeDiem: My Journey

OK great! Because you have already proven to yourself what a powerful creator you are,  you are now going to recreate your outlook on this story you keep telling! 😊  Anger is actually a good place to start! This process will help you enormously if you can just give it a little while and put in the effort.

What I want you to do is rewrite your story. But in factual points. Bullet points, No rambling. And do it purely from a perspective of anger. Do it here, so others can be inspired by the progress you are going to make! And we will help you along. What you want to do is really allow yourself to roll around in anger for today, maybe even tomorrow. Feel it, accept it, live it. That's where you are, and it's totally acceptable.
When you are ready, you are going to rewrite your dilemma AGAIN. But from 16. Discouragement. Again, bullet points only- succinct, factual sentences that describe your feelings on this topic.
Do the same thing. Spend a day or 2 in discouragement. It's not a huge leap from anger, so if you focus, it should be quite an easy merging into that new feeling. BUT the magic of it is that you are actually raising your vibration slowly, meaning that LOA will immediately notice you emitting that new frequency. And things will start to change in your physical reality. Little things. CAVEAT.. Your guy will not be magically making you breakfast just  yet.. But don't look at that, things ARE changing and he's coming! Spend a few days really feeling comfortable in discouragement if you have to, but then look towards 15. Blame. And off you go. Start blaming!! Do it here so we can help you and guide you and cheer you on!

What you will notice if you do this process properly, is that you can make very real and lasting shifts in what you think your emotions are. You can very quickly get yourself out of anger and all the way up to simply pessimism. And before long a little hope can sneak in.. And then LOA will help you by showing evidence of this changed perspective in your outer world. And I KNOW you want your guy, but for right now, wouldn't it be wonderful to sinply FEEL BETTER than you do? And to know that YOU have the power to turn it all around by yourself?

Don't you want to get YOU as happy as you can before you introduce your guy back into your life? Invest a little time in becoming the very best version of you, and then watch your man come back in. And then you can be proud and know 100% that he's lucky to have the best partner  ever 😊 Because if you managed to attract him back right this second, you would still be sabotaging it with your anger and disappointment and resentment about the past. As you work your way up the emotional scale, you literally let go of all of that. It becomes conpletely irelevant. In fact, all the things that once made you FURIOUS no longer even touch you. It feels so liberating.

You asked me to share my story, and while I've told bits and pieces of it here and there, I think I'm going to refrain. I've worked my way up that scale from 22. DESPAIR. I promise. And it was not so long ago. My life was absolutely diabolical. You have no idea. But I DID THE WORK and I'm getting better every single day. Telling my story again will just set me back. Because I'm a deliberate creator and I KNOW EMPHATICALLY that whatever I write, say, think and feel will impact my vibration and create in my reality. So I see no value to either you or me in rehashing my story. You don't need my story or anybody else's story. You need only do the process I've told you about, and throw yourself into it wholeheartedly. I'll help you along the way. You can do it. And when people come here in despair and read your journey, they will be inspired by what you have accomplished. And you will be helping others just like I'm helping you😘


If you imagine it in your mind..
Believe it in your heart..
Feel it in your soul..
You will hold it in your hand πŸ’žΒ 
 

7/09/2015 4:47 pm  #9


Re: CarpeDiem: My Journey

DAY 1: ANGER (#17)
β€’ I am angry because my mom lost her job. She is such a hard working woman, and did not deserve this.
β€’ I am angry because my dad got really sick. He is a healthy and very strong and does not deserve to suffer.
β€’ I am angry because my dad's illness was fatal. He doesn't deserve to die. He is such a kind hearted man.
β€’I am am angry because his condition will break my parents apart. If he died, my mom will be devasted. They have been married for so long and don't deserve pain.
β€’ I am angry at God because my parents have always believed in Him and have done everything they could to be good people. They don't deserve this kind of suffering.
β€’ i am angry at my lover for abandoning me when he knew how much pain I was in with my mom and dad
β€’ i am angry at how cruel and cold he was during our break up
β€’ i am angry at the fact that he told me he doesn't care that what I am going through is my own problem
β€’ i am angry that he treated me like ****
β€’ i am angry that he lied to me that he loves me and would always be there when clearly he isn't
β€’ i am angry at my friends for disappearing when i needed them the most
β€’ i am angry for making myself look stupid and needy after the break up for I have never done this before or with any guy
β€’ I am angry at myself for wasting so much time on all of this
β€’ i am angry at myself for not following LOA properly
β€’ I am angry at myself for constantly trying to control the situation and hurting myself more
β€’ i am angry I let my grades slip up because of eveything happening
β€’ i am angry I didn't keep an eye on my sister which made her end up at the hospital because of what was going on
β€’ i am angry for feeling like I failed her as an older sibling
β€’ i am angry and question why all of this has been happening to me
β€’ i am angry at myself for being weak, I used to be a very strong person
β€’ i am angry at myself for letting everything get to me
β€’ i am angry that everyone who left me during this time gets to be happy and I had to spend so much time trying to pick up the pieces
Β 

Last edited by CarpeDiem (7/11/2015 1:41 pm)

     Thread Starter
 

7/09/2015 5:01 pm  #10


Re: CarpeDiem: My Journey

Excellent. That's perfect. You are sitting beautifully in anger, and that's totally completely fine. There is nothing to fix, and you can simply for right now acknowledge that this is where you are at. Well done! I'm super impressed you actually got going so quickly, this is a fantastic first step. Everyone is going to be so inspired as they watch you work yourself (with our cheering on) out of your funk.

You can stay there as long as you feel it is necessary. Know that you don't have to "fix" anything. All the points you made are completely valid, and in a vibration of anger they feel very rigid. But as you gently move into the next enotion- whether that be tomorrow or in a few days, or in a few weeks (you'll know when you're ready and you can tell us) your focus will shift slightly. Your anger will soften ever so slightly, and you will be releasing all of these things that currently have you wound up so tightly. So don't try to DO anything, don't take any action. This is totally an inside (your mind) job.. , it will work itself out as you slowly but surely move up the scale. Promise. 😘


If you imagine it in your mind..
Believe it in your heart..
Feel it in your soul..
You will hold it in your hand πŸ’žΒ 
 

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