You are still thinking in terms of "I has to take action to get him back". Being friends CAN bring so closer, so can not being friends. Because it actually has nothing to do with it. All that matters is your vibration. You want to prove to him that you have changed but as long you want to prove that you haven't really changed. I can totally relate to what you are thinking and feeling at the moment. It was the same for me in the beginning. I had all this new thoughts and learned so much and thought after 2 weeks I was a different person but I wasn't because my emotional reactions to old situations were exactly the same. When I would have get back together with my ex within the let's say first 3 months after the breakup I were single now anyway because I hadn't changed back then. Why do you want him back so badly? Because you aren't emotionally free - your happiness is still dependent on him to some extend and that is the very reason you to broke up. He feels that.

So my advice would be concentrate on YOU and only YOU for a while. See it as investment in you and your furure relationship. I posted about this a while ago. Maybe it helps: http://veronicaloa.boardhost.com/viewtopic.php?id=1615

Like I said...if you be friends with him or not has as equally much to do with if you can manage to get him back as what you had for lunch today. I personally would refuse the offer because it's not what I want and it gets much harder to focus on your desired reality when you see him and his behaviour has nothing to do with your desire. Your breakup is still very fresh. I know you want him back quickly but trust me, the time you invest in yourself isn't lost. You don't need to prove him anything. He will sense your different vibration and eventually will reach out to you but for that you first have to shift your vibration and hold it for a while. I don't know how long your relationship lasted but most of the time one months is way to less time to get over a breakup and I personally am absolutely sure that you first have to get over to breakup to get someone back.

I agree very much with the above. I tried being friends and not being in contact - didn't make any difference. I thought I was over the ending of the relationship but I really hadn't let go for a whole year and I think my love felt that! I found out recently he's seeing someone and was absolutely crushed but have dragged myself out of that and back into a much happier state and I finally feel able to let go of what we had and my neediness for him. I think this has been a very important step..

Sanshi wrote:

I thought about my ex all the time for nearly 5 months. It was hell..lol. I thought I have to focus on him to get him back and it can't hurt to think about him 24/7 but I was wrong. When I look back it would have been better if I would have gotten rid of the thoughts of him first. I can say with absolute certanty that you can focus 5 months on your ex and absolutely nothing happens. So that's not the way to go in my experience. Shift your thoughts to thinks that please you. I know it is hard in the beginning but when you want it (yes, you have to want it) it is possible within a few days. It's enough when you think about him when you visualise. For the last month you said to the universe "I want him, I want him, I want him" the whole day. Trust me, it got your message.

Ignoring him sounds a bit rude. Maybe you can explain to him that you need a bit time without contact. He will understand that. If you haven't done it already read the post about no contact by Cherished, it's very uplifting.

You really think he can forget about you so easily? I recently reached out to an ex from 8 years ago and we had still a connection. And do you know what the funniest thing is?  I wished him a happy birthday and didn't say who I was. I played the game for 3 months. After 3 months he said that he knew all the time who I was. I was really surprised about that because it was such a long time. He won't forget you. He can't forget you. The only thing he will forget are the bad things that happened between you. Give him the chance to miss you. See the NC period as beneficial for both of you. Have a little faith that everything will work out and change your focus just until you feel emotionally stable. In my experience trying to make the LoA work for you with an ex in the early stages of the breakup is not healthy. It makes healing harder. Sometimes it's better to take a step back first. You maybe think that's a detour but it's not. It's the quickest way to your desire. You just can't see it right now.

A month is nothing. Take you the time to heal. What are 3 months or 6 months if you are going to spend your whole life with your love? It's not enough to attract him back. You also want to keep him, right? I think the more time you take to heal the better are the chances that the new relationship with him can last.

he knows i go to the gym afterwork he texted me to bring his shoes, and I said yes and he said ok thanks. and when i was at the gym working out he did not even want to go over and get the shoes himself, he waved to me across the room like way across the room and then he had some kid get the shoes for him. i was hurt... he texted me and said sry he was lazy. later on he came back and give me like a friend hand dab kinda like a high five but below.. just to say hi and then he left again....... sorry but this is hurting me this is hard for me to be friends with someone that i am in love with and also hard for me when he acts indifferent or acts like is totally over me.

i feel like this back and forth texting is becoming a game to him. should i just stop texting him back overall? will that make him miss me more? because right now he is acting distant to me unless he needs something... it's making my vibe go down... i miss him and i do like when he texts me but if it's going to make him forget me faster than i don't want that...