Craigd88 wrote:

This is a legit question.

I do love my girl BUT I think most of my motives are because the following:

1. I feel betrayed, tossed aside for another guy. I dont like losing! I am a winner!
2. I am hurt and think that having her back will make me feel better and "complete" me.
3. Confidence, self esteem, self worth and Ego took a HUGE hit from this. I dont like feeling this!
4. Sense of conquest. We want what we think is impossible or what we cannot have!
5. Loneliness
6. Reliable/guaranteed safe sexual experiences. Lets face it, as guys its nice to have our "own" to come home to.


Notice I didn't put "love" on here. Why? Because I don't think I am there yet! Can I really say I love her to the point where I want her happy without me? No I cannot. I am still too hurt by all that happened. I hope to reach that point of unconditional love for her because I believe its necessary for my own healing.

So why do you guys want your exes back? Do any of my points ring a bell? If they do, it may be a clue as to why LOA is NOT working for you in getting them back! 

I am a real dude. I say it as is. I dont BS. 

This totally resonates with me.... i feel i am on same journey !!!  i wish i can girl to be  reach the point of unconditional love..
yesterday..while journalling i realized that i had been very selfish that i wanted my girl to be with me only...
irrespective..if she was happy with me or not !!!
i guess i manifested your post cause i wrote down my journal on forgiveness nad asked for a post...and here you are....
it answered so much!!!
thanks a lot!!!

 

Sam wrote:

At the start of my journey it was because I was miserable without him, I had lost myself and learned to rely on him for my happiness.

Now, after all this time, self reflection, and improvement. I want him back because I want to share my happiness with him. Losing him has been the greatest gift because it forced me to finally deal with my emotions and insecurities from the past. I'm happier than ever and who wouldn't want to share that with the one they love? 😊

I also want to be with him because it's what he deserves too. He lost the love of his life. I was his soulmate, his future wife, and by losing myself I took that away from him. He loved that I loved all the things about him he's always been insecure about. Often he told me I showed him ease and comfort he'd never known. I loved how happy I made him.

Now I'm back to myself. I'm the girl he met and fell in love with again. Not only that, but I now have the knowledge and tools to continue to improve myself, and my life. 💛

this is beautiful. i agree with your post 100%

I believe that the whole point is removing resistance. That's when we get what we want. The universe doesn't care if what we do is good or bad, if we really love someone or if it's our ego. We all know many couples, one of them cares only about his/her ego. Like my parents. My mother doesn't love my father, it is only her ego, she really wants to have him but she cares only about herself. She had a lot of fears and doubts but then she finally believed that she could have him. There is absolutely no love, but my father always stands by her. Of course, nobody is happy. 

I mean, you could have the guy/girl you want, just by removing resisntance, when you believe it. But I think that if love is not your intention, both of you will be unhappy. 

Such a great thread, thanks for all your insights!