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Not going to lie.. I'm not doing well, at all.
I need to NOT get that house. It's too close to my ex and it's not right for me to get a house just because I think she'd like it and because I think I may bump into her, etc. Plus, I'd want her to pick out the house with me if and when we're ever back together.
If she really loved me, she'd move mountains for me.. she'd drive up to where I am and see me. I don't need to buy a house to impress her or be closer to her. I really, really need to try to calm down.
But I can't.. I can't handle the mixed messages from her. The phone calls for 3 hours, then silence for 3 weeks.. then a random text about how beautiful a song is.. then nothing... me reaching out.. and silence from her in return. Me sending her flowers on Valentine's Day... and not hearing anything from her about them.
What kind of person IGNORES someone like that? It's emotional abuse. I'm so hurt by it..
It's sick. It's driving me crazy. It's messing with my heart... I feel like I need to tell her it's romance, or I'm not interested. That if she wants me romantically, reach out. Otherwise, please don't ever contact me.
I can't handle the "false hope" and the "waiting around" for her to figure this out.. it's hurting me.. I have goals.. I want to be a home owner.. I want to buy a house and move forward with my life.. but I wanted all of that with her..
It just hurts... 4 months after the breakup and I'm back to square one. I'm extremely depressed and in a deep, dark state right now.
I SHOULD HAVE NEVER TEXTED HER THAT I MADE AN OFFER ON A HOUSE NEXT TO HER... and I should have NEVER started looking without her being in my life in the first place.. but it just sucks.. I feel like I'm putting my life on hold, hoping for her to "figure this out...."
I don't know what to do... I'm almost back to being suicidal again.
Last edited by ForgetYourEvil (2/21/2016 11:37 am)
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Take a deep breath man. Relax. Everything is going to be ok I promise. The girl is very confused right now and that is ok. You need to make decisions that are good for YOU and YOU alone. Focus on YOU. Dont do anything just because you want her. Do it because you want to be happy regardless!
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Thanks dude.. appreciate it!
I think I need to bail on the house. There are tons of houses near her, and in the future, when she reaches back out, I can let her know that I decided against that house but I love the area down there, etc.
I need to relax and do what is right for me.. but it's hard because I'm in love with her. But getting a house and forcing things is the wrong approach. I need to just let the house go... and relax... right?
Because what I really want is her picking one out with me.
What do I say to her? Nothing at this point?
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Sweetie When a person goes into mourning good advisors tell them not to make any major decisions for a year because your perceptions are all cloudy and you can do things you later regret. Any of us working toward getting our ex back are in mourning and actually its worse emotionally ( much worse ) than a physical death. Because of the obivious flood of emotions and perceptions.
Take a couple of steps backward and regroup Veronica has told us its dosent help to initiate contact
You have made several moves hoping for a specific outcome but because you did with varying intentions i.e. worry fear remorse even hope is wishing which is not high vibration
Its time to focus on you where you want to live what you want to do Later on when you are back with your love you can shop for a home together right now it needs to be about you otherwise buying a home to please her wont bring you joy it will just be a place that needs her to feel complete
Its going to be fine and good it really will I have faith that we all will have our desires come to us
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barbidoll wrote:
Sweetie When a person goes into mourning good advisors tell them not to make any major decisions for a year because your perceptions are all cloudy and you can do things you later regret. Any of us working toward getting our ex back are in mourning and actually its worse emotionally ( much worse ) than a physical death. Because of the obivious flood of emotions and perceptions.
Take a couple of steps backward and regroup Veronica has told us its dosent help to initiate contact
You have made several moves hoping for a specific outcome but because you did with varying intentions i.e. worry fear remorse even hope is wishing which is not high vibration
Its time to focus on you where you want to live what you want to do Later on when you are back with your love you can shop for a home together right now it needs to be about you otherwise buying a home to please her wont bring you joy it will just be a place that needs her to feel complete
Its going to be fine and good it really will I have faith that we all will have our desires come to us
Thank you. I love this.
I'm going to forget about the home... and regroup... focus on healing... and focus on saving money and my own personal goals.
You are absolutely right. I can shop for a home with her, together, when I'm back with her. For now, I need to continue to heal.. clearly, this decision (buying the home) is not the right one.
I will just back off and let her come to me when she's ready..
I really needed this.
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ForgetYourEvil wrote:
barbidoll wrote:
Sweetie When a person goes into mourning good advisors tell them not to make any major decisions for a year because your perceptions are all cloudy and you can do things you later regret. Any of us working toward getting our ex back are in mourning and actually its worse emotionally ( much worse ) than a physical death. Because of the obivious flood of emotions and perceptions.
Take a couple of steps backward and regroup Veronica has told us its dosent help to initiate contact
You have made several moves hoping for a specific outcome but because you did with varying intentions i.e. worry fear remorse even hope is wishing which is not high vibration
Its time to focus on you where you want to live what you want to do Later on when you are back with your love you can shop for a home together right now it needs to be about you otherwise buying a home to please her wont bring you joy it will just be a place that needs her to feel complete
Its going to be fine and good it really will I have faith that we all will have our desires come to us
Thank you. I love this.
I'm going to forget about the home... and regroup... focus on healing... and focus on saving money and my own personal goals.
You are absolutely right. I can shop for a home with her, together, when I'm back with her. For now, I need to continue to heal.. clearly, this decision (buying the home) is not the right one.
I will just back off and let her come to me when she's ready..
I really needed this.
you are very welcome We are all here to shore each other up and help us on the road to success!!!
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I have major major mood swings. I go from crying, to happy, to upset, to elated.. in a period of seconds..
Like, right now, I just tore up a photo of that house and I'm thinking, "I'll save more... screw it.."
But, I really liked the house.. so I'm like.. "why did I do that?"
But the house is close to my ex.. and she's not with me right now... so I'm like, "That was the right move."
But then I'm like, "Yeah.. but she'd want to pick out the house with you.. when the time is right.. so that was smart.. just stay put and do this right.. no major decisions right now."
I think the best approach is to just leave this be... let the house go... and let my ex go... and just focus on me and what makes me feel good.
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ForgetYourEvil wrote:
I have major major mood swings. I go from crying, to happy, to upset, to elated.. in a period of seconds..
Like, right now, I just tore up a photo of that house and I'm thinking, "I'll save more... screw it.."
But, I really liked the house.. so I'm like.. "why did I do that?"
But the house is close to my ex.. and she's not with me right now... so I'm like, "That was the right move."
But then I'm like, "Yeah.. but she'd want to pick out the house with you.. when the time is right.. so that was smart.. just stay put and do this right.. no major decisions right now."
I think the best approach is to just leave this be... let the house go... and let my ex go... and just focus on me and what makes me feel good.
Yeah,this waiting hoping for ur ex to see the daylight is VERY frustrating ..
Everything seems so great for us ..
Why can't they see / feel it ???
I'm there at this very moment ...like a good few of us i guess
But as people have said.....
You've got to try to focus on the future....DON'T look back !
Back is pain
Forwards is joy
Easier said than done ..but if you're doing great....
Isn't she going to want to be part of that....
Rather than finding someone that has been waiting for her !
Move forwards...live well...ENJOY life ...
She'll find you ....dont worry !!
(I think i've actually written this for myself just as much as i've written it for you !!)
Last edited by peppo (2/21/2016 1:06 pm)
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I had posted earlier last year, that buying a house near her is not a good idea. Plus it wud be so romantic to just buy it together.
What does your heart say about this house - is it special only because it is close to her? What if she moves from there? Meditate on it.
You could just text her that in the end you didn't go for that house and looking somewhere else - make it casual. And then cut off all expectations from that point.
You are in a bad place now - and it has nothing to do with her - it is always about US - not THEM. Your vibration is low and you are attracting negative situations.
The best way to keep your mind off this frustration is Keep Busy with work... Enjoy your life... Live in Peace man... Just forget about her and pamper yourself.
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LovingLight wrote:
I had posted earlier last year, that buying a house near her is not a good idea. Plus it wud be so romantic to just buy it together.
What does your heart say about this house - is it special only because it is close to her? What if she moves from there? Meditate on it.
You could just text her that in the end you didn't go for that house and looking somewhere else - make it casual. And then cut off all expectations from that point.
You are in a bad place now - and it has nothing to do with her - it is always about US - not THEM. Your vibration is low and you are attracting negative situations.
The best way to keep your mind off this frustration is Keep Busy with work... Enjoy your life... Live in Peace man... Just forget about her and pamper yourself.
Yep. Not going forward with the house.
Bad move.
I'm feeling so much better now.
I'm not going to message her anything. Just gonna move on from here and get back to where I was vibrationally.
I got this.