Veronica's Law of Attraction Forum / Living in different countries

**Posted by PrettyFlamingo** 10/14/2017 7:02 am

I've noticed what seems to be (though I've not quantified it) an inordinate amount of relationships asked about are between people who don't even live in the same country.

Is there a correlation between that, and relationship problems?

**Posted by sillyromantic** 10/14/2017 11:46 am

I personally have been in long distance / different country relationships in the past and actually ended up moving to those countries for those guys (one of them I've been married to for 9 years but still stayed in the country after we split) so I know that you can make those relationships work if you are patient and willing but I'm not sure if there is anything related to the people in this forum? are there a lot of people here in those situations?

**Posted by Stacey** 10/14/2017 1:13 pm

I've been in a long distance relationship before. I live in Swansea in South Wales and he lives in Oldham which is the north of England. So not too bad but still different countries I guess. We were together for 2 years and up until the end obviously things were great.
As sillyromantic said it takes a lot of patience. They also involve a lot more trust than other relationships do considering they aren't near. I think it's a case of people jumping into relationships, not trusting their partner or getting too caught up with them not replying or something.

Can long distance relationships work? Absolutely. Are they easy? Sadly not.

**Posted by sillyromantic** 10/15/2017 6:06 pm

I agree but I also think that it has to do with where you are in your life too in regards to what you are looking for in a relationship. I didn't mind those in my twenties but now I think I would rather have someone closer who can be around to support me if anything happens or just be around in general. I don't think I would have gone into a long term long distance relationship again at this point but you never know.. My ex boyfriend was in long distance online relationships before where it ended badly because they "cheated" on him. But realistically I don't know how long those can last without actually meeting face to face with that person or spending time with them.

**Posted by PrettyFlamingo** 10/16/2017 1:51 am

I really don't see the point of an online long distance relationship and can't believe in it if the parties have never met. It seems to me that at best these are the old fashioned penpal thing updated for social media.

It could be that some embark on these because you can say you're in a relationship without the responsibility of the reality of real day to day life. There's nothing to handle other than getting stressed out if they don't contact you and they attract people who like a bit of drama.

I think some people make it unnecessarily difficult with this.

I'm not being judgemental and every case is individual of course, but you can't claim to be in a romantic relationship with someone you've never met.

**Posted by PrettyFlamingo** 10/16/2017 1:54 am

sillyromantic wrote:
I agree but I also think that it has to do with where you are in your life too in regards to what you are looking for in a relationship. I didn't mind those in my twenties but now I think I would rather have someone closer who can be around to support me if anything happens or just be around in general. I don't think I would have gone into a long term long distance relationship again at this point but you never know.. My ex boyfriend was in long distance online relationships before where it ended badly because they "cheated" on him. But realistically I don't know how long those can last without actually meeting face to face with that person or spending time with them.

I agree with the first part of your post. It has to be real life flesh and blood for me I'm afraid!

The only time it happened to me was when my ex moved to America for sports reasons. It fizzled out and we both met other people. We're back in touch as friends though now and he does come over to the UK once a year.

**Posted by sillyromantic** 10/16/2017 7:41 am

exactly. My ex wasted almost 2 years being in a "relationship" with a girl in Australia he never met in person and got mad when she got with someone else and "cheated on him". I told him how can she be cheating if she never even met you in person? But then again I just saw him as being young and naive. I felt bad for him, it seems to have been a relationship pattern for him in his younger years. I think when you are younger and trying to figure yourself out its easier to get carried away in the romantic idea of it all but thats very hard to sustain as a real adult relationship.

**Posted by Cynthia** 10/16/2017 11:25 am

To give another perspective on it, I had a very long marriage that started out as a long distance relationship. We started out as pen friends and got together in person after about a year and a half. We're divorced now, but so are a lot of other couples, and it had nothing to do with being long distance.

**Posted by PrettyFlamingo** 10/16/2017 11:41 am

Cynthia wrote:
To give another perspective on it, I had a very long marriage that started out as a long distance relationship. We started out as pen friends and got together in person after about a year and a half. We're divorced now, but so are a lot of other couples, and it had nothing to do with being long distance.

Yours was a real relationship though.

**Posted by sillyromantic** 10/16/2017 12:04 pm

Cynthia wrote:
To give another perspective on it, I had a very long marriage that started out as a long distance relationship. We started out as pen friends and got together in person after about a year and a half. We're divorced now, but so are a lot of other couples, and it had nothing to do with being long distance.

Cynthia, my marriage started that way too and we got divorced after 9 years but we are now really good friends and in a good place. Anything is possible