You are the only creator in your reality. In some way you created the numerology/karma reading and everything that came out of it.
You've said it yourself. You've accepted life to be one of modesty and tougher times. You've created that as well. You can either continue to believe that and create more of it for yourself or you can decide to create what you really want for yourself. There's nothing wrong with or selfish about having a good life and nothing to feel guilty about.
I know how difficult it can be, having had the most negative, oppressive father on the face of the earth, being a captive audience to his constant ranting and raving and complaining about lack and limitation day in and day out for years and years, and then on top of that having Catholicism, in my case, holding up poverty, chastity, and obedience as some sort of gold standard of the way to live, when that was all manmade in the first place. It's been my life's work to overcome this, and it is something I have to continue to work on.
I am a big fan of Neville because his teachings are simple, effective, and without limitations and have been a good antidote to my upbringing. It almost makes me laugh when I think of Neville talking about the law of assumption and how backwards my father had it when he used to write out the word assume and divide it into sections.
